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cyn.....you are doing the right thing and you will all be better for your making this brave step. Your friends are all with you and support you. It is hard but you are so strong....even tho you may not think so.
Of course you are in emotional turmoil.
Just because the decision is 'right', doesn't make it 'easy'.
Having been in dog rescue for over 20 years, I have unfortunately been in your situation numerous times.
It NEVER gets any easier. But somehow I have survived, even if at the time I felt co consumed and overwhelmed by the grief that I wasn't sure I even WANTED to survive.
Please give yourself permission to fully grieve. This is a real loss.
But you must keep moving forward, as difficult as it is.
We are all here for you, sharing your sorrow and sending strength and comfort to you.
Oh my dear dear Molly---you have said so much of what I have been feeling. This truly is grief! I have also done rescue for nearly 49 years and it is hard but this is by far the hardest for me. Wish it didn't have to be set up ahead of time as that just gives more fuel to the fire of grief but it was the only way since I cannot do this alone anymore. Yes, I too have had that feeling of not really wanting to survive but I have my kitties, my children and grand children so that is a very selfish thought for me but I have had it. I have to much to be here for! I think it is a normal thought for many in this situation!
Having my employment messed up at the same time is more then I can deal with but I guess I must. I just pray this new manager has some compassion. I will find out Monday. Honestly I don't know if I could do this without all of you holding me up....you all have no idea what that means to me. My angels!
Last edited by cynwldkat; 05-11-2018 at 09:40 AM..
I know tonight will be difficult, and tomorrow will be unbearable.
But you will survive this, and you are doing the right thing.
I hope you will feel more at peace soon.
As you know, grief is a process. I hope that tomorrow you will feel the love and support your friends are embracing you with.
We will help you through this.
You are not alone.
Elston if you are anything it most certainly is not inadequate! And you always seem to know what to say--that's why I have such a deep emotional connection with you! It even started in our cooking thread many years ago!
And my dear Molly, you are so much like I am it is so easy to feel comfortable talking to you--thank you!
Bella and Bubba are now enjoying their life once again and waiting for me to join them! This was a really difficult morning as you know.......not sure what I am suppose to do now??!!
My son is dead set on my moving closer to him in a smaller place--paying off my depts and starting over now. He wants me closer to him, he wants me to find new memories--make happy memories, and finding my joy again. He makes a lot of sense. It scares me but I remember one of our past posters who did just that and she is happy now. Something to think about. Right now I am getting my fur babies beds bagged and ready to donate. Having them here just makes the pain worse.
So good to hear from you. Yes Bella and Bubba are free of the illnesses and infirmaties that plagued their daily life....it really is a blessing for them. Hard for you but a blessing for them.
Take it slow as you define what you want your life to look like. It is good your son is expressing a desire to have you near him.....but if I remember correctly....that relationship hasnt always been a solid support....and relationship with daughter in law....wasnt it strained especially when your husband was living.
Just take it slow right now. Don't make any sudden changes. See how your job situation works out; catch your breath from all the worrying about the dogs and the dog walking and cleaning and expenses. Let things settle.
I am glad that your son was able to help this morning...I couldnt imagine how you would have done it on your own. The logistics of bringing two heavy dogs to the vet and with such an emotional purpose....you definately needed his help.
Keep us informed as to how you are doing. We are here for you.
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I have to much to be here for! I think it is a normal thought for many in this situation!