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Will be leaving soon to my doctors appointment for my arm...please keep positive thoughts/prayers he will be able to do something to relieve this pain so I can work and start a normal life again! I work tonight too. Another long day.
Hugs and prayers to ya, cyn! I sincerely hope your doc and you can come up with something affordable ta help you with your arm pain.
meo - I agree about the beauty of birds and their serenading. Absolutely uplifting!
Thanks, soi. I'm targeting either Tennessee or Maine. I want a beautiful, peaceful place.
Minnesota has its beauty but I just don't want to be here anymore.
I am feeling like you wanting a beautiful peaceful place. I am happy here in this house and do not plan on moving. So I am creating my little paradise around me. It is keeping me busy and I am enjoying it. Always loved to work in the yard and my art and all. now I have the time for it. I would certainly rather have hubby here with me to enjoy it but he will always be in my heart.
Elston, did you not like Maine? Why Florida? I'm curious because I only have the resources to move one final time. I was/always have loved the thought of Florida but don't know if I could stand the heat. Please let me know your insights.
I tried to go to sleep & finally gave up. I've pretty much decided that I will even go down to $200 for the bike - if the guy shows love towards the bike. That would take care of the cost of the keys I had to have made, the license tabs & the insurance I've kept on it.
To me it's all about joy & if it could bring a person joy,then it's all worth it.
Meo....It is complicated and I am not exactly sure why Maine didnt work out for us. I thought it was exactly what I wanted....a place to connect to my past (my father's birthplace and grandmothers home and then Mom and Dad's retirement summer camp and then home and then nursing home and the place their ashes were scattered. I also had two grown sons and their families who lived there. It just seemed as if I belonged there and my DH agreed for us to move and to buy a beautiful home.
I think I was expecting too much and not dealing with the reality of the harshness of winter in maine..so cold and so long. And because my DH is an avid tennis player.....the climate didnt really suit his lifestyle and avocation. The biggest problem was we were both afraid to drive on icy roads.....so for at least 4 or 5 months of the year.....we were limited our freedom dictated by the whims of snow storms.
When we started thinking of being snow birds and spending winters down south.........we visited FL and liked it. We were thinking of buying a modular home in an adult community in FL and selling out big house up north and gettind something smaller up there. The fact that we had 2 (now 3) dogs complicated the snow bird idea....since dogs cant fly....it necessitated traveling back and forth twice a year....(my DH does all the driving and with the dogs it would be at least a 4 day trip.
So push came to shove we sold our Maine home and moved to FL.
I miss New England but have no delusions about moving back north and I really dont ever want to be freezing cold again or be afraid of sliding off the road or falling on a patch of ice...or my pipes freezing etc.
I am now a Floridian.
It is very hot where we live....and humid...it is tropical. If it werent for a/c I couldnt bear it....but everywhre is air conditioned. My DH loves playing tennis every day and he gets better and better. I was more concerned about the conservative political climate than the weather climate.....but we manage to find like minded people and to put up with those who arent. I still cant stand to see the confederate flag.
so in summary.....Maine didnt work for us....(winter)...altho it is the most beautiful place I can imagine. Florida is working very well. One of my sons lives on the SC coast and it is truly lovely there...but if anything even more humid than here in the summer. I guess Tennessee might be a good choice for you.
The area over near the smokey mts is beautiful and my brother and his family lived in Nashville for quite a few years while the taught at Vanderbuilt U. It seemed nice there.
My doctor was very surprised at the loss of arm strength in my right arm in just 3 weeks since my last visit. He is now thinking the best thing is surgery but having to first get an MRI and then the surgery plus not being able to drive or work makes that not feasible right now so instead I am going to try therapy. He told me it all stems from the torn rotater cuff..as I figured. Guess I'll just do the best I can for now.
My doctor was very surprised at the loss of arm strength in my right arm in just 3 weeks since my last visit. He is now thinking the best thing is surgery but having to first get an MRI and then the surgery plus not being able to drive or work makes that not feasible right now so instead I am going to try therapy. He told me it all stems from the torn rotater cuff..as I figured. Guess I'll just do the best I can for now.
I agree it's about moving on. The Grief Group provided me with insight into other people. Some are having extreme difficulty moving on, others find comfort that they are not alone and yet others seem to enjoy being out with people in similar situations. I did not find it depressing myself and it also allowed me to realize I am moving on, seemingly quicker than some of the people there. Can't say I don't have painful moments so I focus on the wonderful memories I have. About two weeks before he passed we were sitting on the couch, holding hands, and he said, "we've had a great life together and done things most people just dream about."
As CYN stated, it makes you realize you are not alone and as SHADES mentioned you never get over your loss, just move on and face the challenges of living without your loved one.
Seeing others who were really having difficulty after a couple of years did not depressed me, only made me think they lacked the ability and/or strength to live in the future. They are miserable and are compounded their loss on their families.
Cyn sorry to hear about the news on your arm. Really hoping the physical therapy will help you. Really between a rock and a hard spot.
Ellwood you sound like you are making good sense. Your earlier post prompted me to look into grief groups but nothing closer than 60 miles and all meetings in the evening. It would just stress me out further to try to attend.
I am still painting on the front porch. Waiting a little longer on paint to set up so I can do the second coat. This time I did both blue and white and will have to be really careful cutting in the two on second coat. I REALLY want this done so I can put my porch back together. it is difficult dealing with the extreme heat and only so many hours a day I can paint. I just know one day at a time it will get done and I am not terribly patient some times.
Cyn, I really hope therapy helps your arm. I did a couple of years of periodic therapy for my back before the insurance company would approve an extensive MRI, the one where they put dye throughout your body. That's when they discovered my sciatic nerve was seriously pinched & I had to have surgery. They paid for that but it took a good two more years & two different lawyers before I was approved for SSI & finally a settlement.
Hang in there.
On a good note, I received 2 offers on my son's motorcycle so it will be sold next week to a friend of my sister's who had the highest offer. Still taking a loss but I don't care. I just want it taken care of & ridden. It's too beautiful a bike to be sitting in a garage.
Meo, so happy to hear about your son's motorcycle! Thank you for you positive reply regarding insurance and SSI. I am also hoping therapy helps!
Shades, if I had to drive a long distance at night to go to a grief meeting I'd be like you and be more stressed just about the drive. You honestly sound like you are doing very well and maybe just a group like this one is enough! It's actually the only "group" I talk with now except occasionally my therapist will have a group get-together like the trip to the horse farm! Those are fun but not often! I do try to go to therapy at least 2 times a month if possible. My therapist is like a friend so it really makes me feel good!
Ellwood, like you I found grief groups a good thing for me at first. I actually went for a good year and felt very similar to what you posted. It did help me! But many people have been attending the groups for years. For me I need to find more positive/fun things to do and where I live now that is not easy. As I read how Shades makes her home her fun place I am rethinking what fun is! Now to get my arm to heal so I can do more things around my house!
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