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My mother died at age 95, while taking an afternoon nap. She had told us, her daughters that she was ready to “go” several years before. Her quality of life was not great, but she was still mobile, though practically deaf, demented and sight impaired.
One of her pleasures till the end was eating sweets. She asked the staff at her LTC often for a cookie.
Honestly, even though she did not exactly suffer, it was relief to let her go. She seemed ready, she was not even close to being independent, and the things that she had enjoyed in her old age were no longer enjoyable—or in some cases, even doable.
I was thankful for her peaceful passing. I have imagined her mother and my dad greeting her as she passed from this life. That’s how I hope it was for her.
^You can't ask for better than that. I had a great-uncle who lived across the street from my grandmother, his sister-in-law. Both were widowed. She made lunch for him every day, then he would go home and take a nap in his big chair. He used to say he was going to die in that chair.
Then one day, he did. He went home after lunch and took his nap, and a neighbor who stopped by later that afternoon found him dead in the chair.
Modern medicine just seems to drag out the inevitable. Not dead just half alive in some cases. But then again a lot of people never had the opportunity to live long lives for many reasons. So we beat the odds.
My big fear about the end is alzheimer's....I sincerely hope they come up with a "Death with Dignity" law or a cure for it someday...
We said goodbye to my 92-year-old uncle yesterday. He'd been in relatively good shape until the last couple of years when he started slowing down. A fall that ruined his hip replacement put him in the hospital a few weeks ago, and he was moved to a nursing home/rehab facility. Two weeks ago he became ill with an infection and hospice care began. He was ready and willing to pass on — we believe to heaven — and had a very peaceful passing. He was a sweet, loving man and will be missed by all.
One of his older sisters (three kids left of eight) was deep in sleep shortly before passing, so her daughter left her bedside for a few minutes. The daughter heard Aunt L call out "The rainbow, it's so beautiful, look, the rainbow, Praise God!" The daughter ran to the room and told her mother she should see a rainbow. Aunt L said "It's not your rainbow!" ... those things help us know our loved ones are happier now.
I reflect that one of us will be the survivor and will have to deal with the others passing. The prospect of that seems monumental. My wife has not driven for about 6 years, which would make shopping a chore. We have not tried grocery shopping online, although we do buy other things online.
Both of our "kids" live in 3 story townhouses which would not work for my wife at all and not well for me, if we could not manage in our condo..
We are 84 and 85 now with birthdays coming up this month.
Please do try online shopping. It is amazing and you can shop by the aisle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanBev
I am 87,have had triple bypass in 2010,just had echogram all o'k.
My BP took a turn for the worse in 2016 and have been fighting to keep it under control,up and down with meds.
My main worry is my wife of 65 years,now with total loss of short term memory.
She is dependent on me for my pension and healthcare which will terminate at my death,she will have medicare and my S.S.
Tomorrow I go in for CT as a precaution because of light headedness etc.I hope I can last awhile longer.
How odd when I read these posts where are the kids they raised aren’t you supposed to take care of your parents
What am I missing
You are missing free will, resources and choice. Some parents don't want their adult children to take care of them. Some adult children don't want to or can't take care of their elderly parents.
How odd when I read these posts where are the kids they raised aren’t you supposed to take care of your parents
What am I missing
A friend is dealing with her 97-year old mother who's in full-blown dementia. Mom lovingly stroked her daughter's arm and then pinched her skin between her nails so hard it drew blood. She stroked daughter's hand and the suddenly forced one of daughter's fingers back so far she nearly dislocated it. Fortunately, Mom is in a facility and not living with my friend, whose husband is losing his eyesight due to macular degeneration. If I get to the point that I can no longer live independently I'll find a good facility near DS and DDIL but I will not expect them to take me in- they have 3 kids and are talking about maybe having a 4th, and her parents may not have the means for LTC. I'll be happy if they visit and bring cookies!
To get back to the OT- I lost my mother and my husband in successive months 3 years ago. Mom was 85 and chose hospice care when breast cancer recurred after 7 years. DH was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia at 78 and also chose hospice care- they told him chemo had a 3% chance of success. Both died after long lives in which they loved and were loved, with a chance to say goodbye in the months before. I miss them both, of course, but their ends were about the best one could hope for.
Please do try online shopping. It is amazing and you can shop by the aisle.
I hope your CT scan comes out okay.
Thank you,my CT scan came out ok.
As a sad note,as stated about my wife's memory,her brother 85 passed from a stroke and heart attack recently,his physical condition was not good.
He was suffering from alzheimer's also.
A few years ago her younger brother at age 74 also passed from alzheimer's and parkinson disease.His was brought on by drinking water at the Marine base at Paris Island,I can't remember the date but read abut it.
They admitted finally to it when he was near 70 and gave him disability for it.He was under VA care for a long time.
My mother, just shy of 100 passed a few months ago. She'd survived a burst appendix at 96, uterine cancer at 94 and several bouts of pneumonia and UTI's. Other than that I cannot remember her experiencing a sick day in her life. She spent the last 6 months in bed never once getting out. She'd shriveled from 5' to 4'10" crooked and bent and looked like a mummy the last month. Nevertheless she went on in this horrible state barely able to get a few words out at a time due to weakness although she displayed no signs of dementia right to the day I saw her before she passed the next. She was a Catholic who turned atheist early on. When I asked her if she believed in an afterlife she'd say, "Nah! Once you die you're dead." Curiously, the morning she passed she feebly asked the aide for sip of water and the aide complied. After sipping, my mother said to her, "Would you like to come where I'm going?" The aide respectfully declined, whereupon my mother closed her eyes and slipped into a coma. An hour later they called me to say she had passed.
I often debate within myself why God put us here, just to go through this ritual of death. Seems our only purpose, like the animals, is to just procreate the next generation like any other animal. The fleeting moments of happiness are far outweighed by the years of unhappiness and often debilitating chronic illness. I might start a thread about this over in the philosophy forum unless MightyQueen thinks it could be acceptable here since many of us probably wonder the same thing. Without touching on the religious aspects of it, what do you think, MQ?
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