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Oh My God. My advice is to let it go. Find something you both like. The home we presently live in; I LOVED, my husband hated it. He agreed for us to get it after alot of my pestering. Mistake... he hates doing anything around the house and used to love doing it in our other home. If something breaks down...I hear it. When we sell this one I will make sure we both 100% agree on the new house.
When I think about it it was selfish of me to insist on something that he didn't like at all. He has to live here too. Waitjust had a thought does he have to live here????
pixie- my story is- I moved here as a concession for my husband- his job- and his Mom is close by- he picked Tennessee bcs Virginia is the next state over- (first mistake). A nice house and all, but a house is just walls if you are unhappy.
In my case its not the house-but the ENTIRE state. lol
The reason we're looking to move is to get the heck out of California.
We've lived in our current house for 17 years, however I've lived in CA all my life. Barely been out of CA for vacations. LOL It's funny, when we got married 23 yrs ago, I told my husband he'd NEVER get me out of CA. Little did I know how much it would change.
Plus, even if we weren't leaving CA, We're wanting to get out of this tract house and find an old house with character & history. I've always loved the pre-1945 architecture, and we've decided to quit dreaming and start looking. Finally!
So...there ya have it.
Happy House Hunting,
Boof
Boof,
Come to LI. There are many beautiful historical sections here.
Well, I'm no longer torturing myself about it but I'm still sad. Nevertheless, I have let it go. Thank you all for your support.
NYMOM,
I honestly think you are making the right decision. The right place will come along, and if you're both happy, it's a very good thing. I was born and raised in rich OC, and for my wife bought a place in North Idaho, but I love the snow and the wilderness, otherwise I would have been very unhappy here.
I think it's really all about the two of you, making each other happy, and biding your time until a place comes along that you both can get excited about. Just my $.02, but I commend you on doing something displeasing to you for the good of the relationship. That is love in action.
If you ABSOLUTELY can't let it go, ask him WHAT he hates about it. If it's things that can be changed, then it's not a big deal, but if it's an area, or something unchangeable then yes, I agree to let it go. The house I live in now I absolutely HATED! After thinking about it, the things I hated were things I could change. Sure we re-did the bathrooms, took down some walls etc...but it's all cosmetic. Now I LOVE my home because it's the way I imagined it. If it's cosmetic kind of stuff, just give him a mental image of what can be done to make it the way he would like it to be. Talk him through what you two can do to make it yours. But if it's more than the basics, I'm confidant you'll find another you will love just as much if not more!
Thanks Cold, but the things that he doesn't like can't be fixed like the fact that it's very secluded. Also there are major structural aspects that need to be fixed. For instance, there is no door into the house from the garage even though it is attached. If you put a door in, you would be walking right into the living room. The mud room is all the way on the other side of the house. If we put tons of money into it, these things technically could be fixed but the price of the house is so high that we would have nothing left over to put into it.
Thanks Cold, but the things that he doesn't like can't be fixed like the fact that it's very secluded. Also there are major structural aspects that need to be fixed. For instance, there is no door into the house from the garage even though it is attached. If you put a door in, you would be walking right into the living room. The mud room is all the way on the other side of the house. If we put tons of money into it, these things technically could be fixed but the price of the house is so high that we would have nothing left over to put into it.
I'm over it. On to the next one!
I hear ya! We got a GREAT deal on our home so we had money to actually put into it. One thing about ND I LOVE!! We got a 2700 sq. FT 6 bed, 3 bath home with tons of outbuildings, quonset, horse barn, graineries, park-like setting on a 17 acre farm for $67,000. At that price, you could demolish and rebuild it!! I am learning that homes accross the US differ GREATLY price wise! I cannot believe prices in some of the other states! Glad to hear problem is solved and you're on to the next one...wasn't meant to be right?? I know you'll find one you'll BOTH love!! Takes time, but worth the wait and looking!
What's a woman to do???? I am so depressed and disappointed. Even if I convince him to buy it, he will always resent me. Plus all the things he dislikes about it now will bother him 100 times more when we are living there and that's just not fair to him. I don't know what to do. I can't let go of it. Has anyone else been in this predicament?
I am living in my 5th house now. For me buying a house is emotional and I think this is true for a lot of people. That is why buying a house is so damn hard! Hubby and I have run into this issue several times. I find a house I love and he hates it. We made a mistake twice. We bought a house he loved and I was just okay with it. He promised to fix all the things I wanted to change. Turns out we ran into major structural problems that were hidden. Yes, a part of me was very annoyed. Turns out the fixes I wanted to make really didnt turn out the way I wanted because the structure issues took up most of our budget. The next house I chose and he was just okay with. Although the house was nice the neighborhood took a drastic turn when the housing market went down the drain. Although it was not my fault, I have a feeling my husband was resentful as he was not really thrilled with the house. We now have a house we both love. It took us 9 months to find it and even after all our home buying experiences I started to think we would never find "our" dream house. We have been here almost 2 yrs and we still feel a little awe when we pull in the drive.
This thread is why I don't want to win the lottery!
The other day, I told my husband that he should dream about what we'd do if we won the lottery. Why bother buying tickets if you don't dream? Afterall, it's unlikely we'd win. Dreaming is the only purpose of buying them.
He said he would want to build a house at our camp! We have 100 acres about 2 hours north of where we currently live. I'd be sooooooooo disappointed if we ended up living at camp if we won the lottery!
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It's funny, when we got married 23 yrs ago, I told my husband he'd NEVER get me out of CA. Little did I know how much it would change. 
We have 100 acres about 2 hours north of where we currently live. I'd be sooooooooo disappointed if we ended up living at camp if we won the lottery! 
