Reasons most workers can't find work---funny job ads (employee, job openings, apply)

[rothbear]

I saw an ad not too long ago that was for a mail room attendant to sort mail to go to the various people in a retirement home/assisted living center.

Not too bad until you get to the part where they REQUIRE 2-5 years experience in a mail room environment!!! Wait a minute.......wasn't the mail room where people used to START in a company at minimum wage???? I mean, come on, how much experience do you need to sort mail???

[D. Scott]

Originally Posted by rothbear

I saw an ad not too long ago that was for a mail room attendant to sort mail to go to the various people in a retirement home/assisted living center.

Not too bad until you get to the part where they REQUIRE 2-5 years experience in a mail room environment!!! Wait a minute.......wasn't the mail room where people used to START in a company at minimum wage???? I mean, come on, how much experience do you need to sort mail???

Agreed.

Unrealistic expectations, Followed by surprise with the final results. But some employers continue the same pattern. A wise man once said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."

[peet111]

Crucial requirements listed at the bottom of the description is fun. You read the whole thing and think, well thank for wasting my time. The requirement I see recently is experience at the company you are applying to. I've seen 2-10 years listed. So they should just list as "previous employees only."

[annerk]

Originally Posted by rothbear

I saw an ad not too long ago that was for a mail room attendant to sort mail to go to the various people in a retirement home/assisted living center.

Not too bad until you get to the part where they REQUIRE 2-5 years experience in a mail room environment!!! Wait a minute.......wasn't the mail room where people used to START in a company at minimum wage???? I mean, come on, how much experience do you need to sort mail???

That tells me that they are looking for a retired person who worked in that type of environment, maybe a retired postal worker.

It's likely a p/t job or they do'nt want to offer health benefits, which most retirees don't need.

Sometimes you need to read between the lines.

[annerk]

Originally Posted by operaphantom2003

What I found really funny about it is that you can't be 10k in debt....so I guess they don't want students, people with car loans, married people who used to make more money, etc. There are plenty of reasons why one would be 10k in debt.

Forget all that, they don't want anyone with a mortgage--which is over 60% of the workforce in the US!

[Theliberalvoice]

Originally Posted by operaphantom2003

Here's a local one:

We are in need of a high-level customer service representative. This is a full time position from 7am - 4pm. M-F. Must have at least 2 years experience with the same company (no bouncing from job to job). Pass drug test and background screen Since you will be dealing with financial information, you must be able to pass a credit check meaning: no more than 4 accounts in collections OR no more than $10,000 in debt Must have great computer skills Be able to work as a team AND know when to take initiative Supervisory/management experience preferred, but not required If interested please send you resumes to the above email address in word format.

You forgot the best part.

They want all that and more from their new hire. The pay? $8.50 an hour.

[Mystique13]

If you have all those qualifications, you can start your own company. You don't need that job advertised.

[operaphantom2003]

After reading a page of description....here are the qualifications (numbers and all) for the job (pay $9.50/hr)

Qualifications
1. 1+ years of experience in customer service required ideally in the health care industry. Degree or appropriate education may be substituted for experience.
2. Stable work history.
3. Professional appearance.
4. Strong detail orientation and excellent communication/listening skills.
5. Ability to pass all skill assessments including demonstrated experience with Microsoft applications
6. Ability to pass background checks and drug screening.
7. Bilingual (Spanish/English)
8. Demonstrated passion for excellence with respect to treating and caring for customers.
9. Strong decision making and analytical abilities.
10. Ability to identify customer needs and clearly articulate product and service.
11. Schedule flexibility to include weekends evenings possible holidays and occasional overtime when needed.
12. Highly developed sense of integrity and commitment to customer satisfaction.
13. Meet all attendance and dependability requirements.
14. Ability to type a minimum of 30 WPM.
15. Be a Team player

[operaphantom2003]

Can we call this a pre-employment test in communication skills?

Copied directly from source (company name edited out)

________________________________________________
amp;Requisition Number:amp; XXXXXXamp;
amp;Job Title:amp; Barista, XXXXXXXXXXXXX (Part Time)amp;
amp;Department:amp; XXXXXXXXXXXXXXamp;
amp;Reg / Temp:amp; Temporaryamp;
amp;Employment Type:amp; Part Timeamp;
amp;Shift:amp; Rotatingamp;
amp;Work Schedule:amp; Varies, Weekends/Holidays Requiredamp;
amp;Location:amp; XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXamp;
amp;City:amp; SALT LAKE CITYamp;
amp;State:amp; UTAHamp;
amp;
amp;Job Description: amp;amp;
: As a patient-focused organization, the XXXXXXXXX exists to enhance the health and well-being of people through patient care, research and education. Success in this mission requires a culture of collaboration, excellence, leadership, and respect. The XXXXXXXXXXX seeks faculty and staff that are committed to the values of compassion, collaboration, innovation, responsibility, diversity, integrity, quality and trust that are integral to our mission.amp;
amp;
amp;Position Summary:amp;amp;
amp;
This job ensures service standards are met and surpassed by creating the XXXXXXXXXX for your customers by providing customers with prompt service, quality beverages and products, and maintaining a clean and comfortable store environment.amp;
amp;
amp;Essential Functions:amp;amp;
amp;
- Delivers Legendary Service to all customers by acting with a amp;#8220;customer comes firstamp;#8221; attitude and connecting with the customer.amp;
- Responds to customer needs and says amp;#8220;thank youamp;#8221; to every customer.amp;
- Anticipates customer and store needs by constantly evaluating the environment and customers for cues.amp;
- Discover customer needs and appropriately suggests product with every customer to enhance service and meet your sales goals.amp;
- Assist customers in the selection and purchase of specialty coffee beverages and whole bean sales (as applicable).amp;
- Maintains customer service area and equipment in a clean and appealing manner.amp;
- Provides quality beverages, whole bean, and food products consistently for all customers by adhering to all recipe and presentation standards.amp;
- Follows health, safety and sanitation guidelines for all products.amp;
- Demonstrates amp;#8220;Just Say Yesamp;#8221; behavior when taking care of customer needs.amp;
- Follows store policies and procedures for operational flow at each station.amp;
- Performs cleaning tasks and standards and works as a store team player.amp;
- Presents oneself professionally and demonstrates clear communication with all customers and interactions with fellow associates.amp;
- Follows Standards for merchandising, stocking, rotating and storing all products.amp;
- Performs equipment maintenance in accordance with XXXXXXX standards.amp;
- Follows cash handling and register policies.amp;
- Follows inventory stocking and recording guidelines.amp;
amp;
Knowledge/Skills/Abilities:amp;
amp;
- Ability to perform the essential functions of the job as outlined above.amp;
- Basic math and computer skills.amp;
- Demonstrated co

[FBJ]

Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice

You forgot the best part.

They want all that and more from their new hire. The pay? $8.50 an hour.

No one is forcing you to apply to a $8.50 an hour job