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Old 04-20-2020, 10:40 AM
Status: "Let this year be over..." (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,219 posts, read 17,099,287 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Very interesting! I once had an Irish Catholic friend who told me that pregnant women could not go to wakes (the custom of gathering in a room with the deceased's body) because the spirit of the dead person might jump into the unborn child.
It would seem there are old wives tales from the old country in most cultures...
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Old 04-20-2020, 11:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
This would apply even to a historical cemetery like the one Rachel mentioned?

Also, I don't know where you got the idea that Christians are encouraged to make regular visits to cemeteries. Some people do, obviously, but it's a personal or cultural choice. I have never heard of any Christian clergy encouraging people to visit cemeteries. In my family, we rarely visited the graves of our dead relatives, even though my parents were quite religious Christians.

(My sister goes to cemeteries regularly, but that's because she's an obsessed genealogist and photographs graves for Find-a-Grave.com, and she's an atheist anyway. )
Perhaps, I got the idea of Christians going to loved ones' graves from movies or books. I can't think of one specifically, but there were characters or maybe some real people who would go to a grave every Sunday, possibly placing flowers on the grave, or to talk to a dead relative. Perhaps, I've seen Phantom of the Opera too much or have read too many English novels where relatives were buried in local church graveyards and family members would "visit."

There are certain rituals that Jews do after going to a cemetery. It's interesting how every culture has a different system for dealing with death and burial. In American Indian societies, it was not customary to speak of the deceased, not even close family members. Pacific Islanders buried the bones of the deceased in cliff sides. There are so many different cultural customs.
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Old 04-20-2020, 11:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VA Yankee View Post
I don't think it would be disrespectful if you took a moment to pause and reflect but would you stop and place a flower or two at every stone you pass in a regular cemetery?
I'm just talking about a regular cemetery, where you're leaving and you notice a stone with a Magen David, and you still have a couple of stones left in your pouch . I meant a cemetery that might have maybe, one other Jewish grave stone in the whole section that you passed.
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Old 04-20-2020, 12:31 PM
 
43,669 posts, read 44,416,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosends View Post
Some info (though I have never heard of this minhag being followed -- as a man, I wouldn't know or think about it)

https://judaism.stackexchange.com/qu...e-menstruating
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessxwrites89 View Post
That would make sense. When I was practicing Islam, I couldn't pray while menstruating.
I thought prohibition of a menstruating woman going to the cemetery had to do with the fact that woman was considered unclean during this time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
The rules for Kohanim visiting cemeteries are explained here. I thought it was interesting that a Kohen could not bury a married sister, but could bury an unmarried sister. What happens if the sister is widowed without children or deceased children and there is no other family? I was thinking of a holocaust survivor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prohib...nt_by_the_dead
Wouldn't a widowed or divorced sister be considered single in this case? I know that Kohen can't marry a divorced woman (including an ex-wife of his own) but I assumed that had to do with the woman being impure (for intimate husband-wife purposes) but that has no bearing with a widowed/divorced sister being buried.
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
I thought prohibition of a menstruating woman going to the cemetery had to do with the fact that woman was considered unclean during this time.
The laws of niddah (family purity) pertain to relations between a husband and a wife. The woman isn't "unclean" -- she's just not supposed to engage in sexual relations with her husband, touch him, or pass any items to him during this time of sexual abstinence.
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Candy Kingdom
5,155 posts, read 4,623,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
Perhaps, I got the idea of Christians going to loved ones' graves from movies or books. I can't think of one specifically, but there were characters or maybe some real people who would go to a grave every Sunday, possibly placing flowers on the grave, or to talk to a dead relative. Perhaps, I've seen Phantom of the Opera too much or have read too many English novels where relatives were buried in local church graveyards and family members would "visit."

There are certain rituals that Jews do after going to a cemetery. It's interesting how every culture has a different system for dealing with death and burial. In American Indian societies, it was not customary to speak of the deceased, not even close family members. Pacific Islanders buried the bones of the deceased in cliff sides. There are so many different cultural customs.
Probably, but I think it just depends. My Catholic family members would only go to the grave sites on holidays, say a prayer, and leave. My atheist family members visit on said holidays, but they just leave flowers and don't pray.
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:57 PM
 
4,143 posts, read 1,876,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
Perhaps, I got the idea of Christians going to loved ones' graves from movies or books. I can't think of one specifically, but there were characters or maybe some real people who would go to a grave every Sunday, possibly placing flowers on the grave, or to talk to a dead relative. Perhaps, I've seen Phantom of the Opera too much or have read too many English novels where relatives were buried in local church graveyards and family members would "visit."

There are certain rituals that Jews do after going to a cemetery. It's interesting how every culture has a different system for dealing with death and burial. In American Indian societies, it was not customary to speak of the deceased, not even close family members. Pacific Islanders buried the bones of the deceased in cliff sides. There are so many different cultural customs.
Actually, Gentiles did visit cemeteries in the last century or so, as family outings. If you ever go on a tour at the famous Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx (which is a designated National Historic Landmark), the tour guide will tell you how families from the city would pack picnic baskets and bring the food to the cemetery when visiting graves. Because the cemetery is laid out like an expansive park, visiting graves with the family and having lunch there was a respite for the city dwellers. This would be considered inappropriate in a Jewish cemetery (as well as impossible anyway, as the Jewish cemeteries in the city were/are crowded with graves).

I highly recommend taking a tour of Woodlawn. The history is amazing, and the mausoleums are breathtaking. During certain tours, they'll even take you inside the mausoleums.
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Old 04-20-2020, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,588 posts, read 84,838,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
Perhaps, I got the idea of Christians going to loved ones' graves from movies or books. I can't think of one specifically, but there were characters or maybe some real people who would go to a grave every Sunday, possibly placing flowers on the grave, or to talk to a dead relative. Perhaps, I've seen Phantom of the Opera too much or have read too many English novels where relatives were buried in local church graveyards and family members would "visit."

There are certain rituals that Jews do after going to a cemetery. It's interesting how every culture has a different system for dealing with death and burial. In American Indian societies, it was not customary to speak of the deceased, not even close family members. Pacific Islanders buried the bones of the deceased in cliff sides. There are so many different cultural customs.
First of all, I don't think it is possible to see Phantom of the Opera too much.

You are right about interesting traditions. My daughter lived in China and studies/teaches Mandarin and knows something of the culture. They have an annual "grave-sweeping day" when you tend the graves of your ancestors, cleaning them and planting things. She could not attend my mother's funeral because of the restrictions, but she was going to try and make the trip the following week on the day of the Chibese observance and do that instead. Unfortunately, because things got tighter, she couldn't do that, either. It was an interesting idea, though.
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Old 04-20-2020, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,588 posts, read 84,838,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel NewYork View Post
Actually, Gentiles did visit cemeteries in the last century or so, as family outings. If you ever go on a tour at the famous Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx (which is a designated National Historic Landmark), the tour guide will tell you how families from the city would pack picnic baskets and bring the food to the cemetery when visiting graves. Because the cemetery is laid out like an expansive park, visiting graves with the family and having lunch there was a respite for the city dwellers. This would be considered inappropriate in a Jewish cemetery (as well as impossible anyway, as the Jewish cemeteries in the city were/are crowded with graves).

I highly recommend taking a tour of Woodlawn. The history is amazing, and the mausoleums are breathtaking. During certain tours, they'll even take you inside the mausoleums.
Yes, people did visit cemeteries and picnic in them. My mom used to take us to look at old cemeteries whenever we went on vacation. I still love them.

I want to visit Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. They give tours. I worked near it in Boro Park for a year but never got the chance to go.

There is a difference between visiting cemeteries for cultural or recreational or personal mourning purposes and going for religious reasons. I was just correcting Coney on his misperception that part of Christianity includes encouragement to visit graves.

Now there ARE cases where people incorporate grave-visiting into their religion. Vincent Van Gogh's parents lost a toddler, also named Vincent, before the one who became the artist was born (Dutch people would give the next child the same name if a child died.) His father was a Dutch Reformed Church minister, and every Sunday after church the family would walk out to the churchyard and pray at the grave. So Vincent No 2 grew up seeing his name on a headstone. Maybe that contributed to his mental illness.
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Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 04-20-2020 at 02:13 PM..
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Old 04-20-2020, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Candy Kingdom
5,155 posts, read 4,623,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel NewYork View Post
Actually, Gentiles did visit cemeteries in the last century or so, as family outings. If you ever go on a tour at the famous Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx (which is a designated National Historic Landmark), the tour guide will tell you how families from the city would pack picnic baskets and bring the food to the cemetery when visiting graves. Because the cemetery is laid out like an expansive park, visiting graves with the family and having lunch there was a respite for the city dwellers. This would be considered inappropriate in a Jewish cemetery (as well as impossible anyway, as the Jewish cemeteries in the city were/are crowded with graves).

I highly recommend taking a tour of Woodlawn. The history is amazing, and the mausoleums are breathtaking. During certain tours, they'll even take you inside the mausoleums.
This sounds a lot like Laurel Hill Cemetery in Philadelphia, which is what I first mentioned. It's a Quaker cemetery and was "built" around the time that cemetery outings were a big thing. I'm into history and I read that the Quakers wanted the living and dead to interact and didn't want the living to be afraid of the dead. I've always wanted to visit Laurel Hill and I think I might once this quarantine lifts.

Leave it to those Victorians and Quakers, they really did do a lot of interesting thinking!
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