Far from your hometown

[ZenMaster2008]

I highly highly highly (did I say highly) do not suggest moving to LA at this time. You need to gain your independence from your parents slowly since it's all you've known. Start small as another poster suggested and get your own apartment in town so when you relapse you can go running home to mom. Maybe 5-10 years from now you'll be ready to move out of state but for now I'd say across town will cause you huge issues let alone across country.

If you came across the country to LA you would be home in less than a month. I'm not trying to sound harsh, just trying to interpret your situation for you best I can.

[KnoxTown]

Originally Posted by ZenMaster2008

I highly highly highly (did I say highly) do not suggest moving to LA at this time. You need to gain your independence from your parents slowly since it's all you've known. Start small as another poster suggested and get your own apartment in town so when you relapse you can go running home to mom. Maybe 5-10 years from now you'll be ready to move out of state but for now I'd say across town will cause you huge issues let alone across country.

If you came across the country to LA you would be home in less than a month. I'm not trying to sound harsh, just trying to interpret your situation for you best I can.

I agree with this. LA will chew you up if you aren't ready to lead a very independent and fast-paced lifestyle. LA really is a great place, but it truly isn't for everyone.

[Dennis P]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

Maybe you should start small and get your own place in the same town as your family.

This is a good idea, especially if you've never lived away from your folks. You need to learn to walk before you can run.

[ebuch]

Why not move to another part of FL? That state is huge, you could easily have your own life but be 3-4hr drive to see your family if you wanted. And by the way I am going through the samething as you about leaving family and being on my own out in LA but I am just finishing college so a bitt younger

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

Maybe you should start small and get your own place in the same town as your family.

I was also going to suggest that.

[mattyluv]

Yeah, living far from family has its ups and downs. However moving away from a supportive family who cares about you and your needs is a lot better than moving far away because of say, a horrible home situation, you can always call, email, and coastal doors are always open for visits, which would not be the case if you moved away because you hate eachother.

If they support your move, it secretly means that your mom wants you off her tit, and your dad wants you to grow a pair and get your car out of the driveway so he buy a boat.

My friend moved to LA after college to remove himself from a crappy home situation and now he's addicted to the insanely awesome weed they got floatin around. it's very sad.

just sayin is all...

[mattfromfl]

Na, I could handle it. It's not like I've never lived on my own before. Of course I can cook and do laundry. I'm using my parents to pay off some debt right now, just like I'd use you too if I could. In a couple more months I'll be out of debt completely.

Originally Posted by ZenMaster2008

I highly highly highly (did I say highly) do not suggest moving to LA at this time. You need to gain your independence from your parents slowly since it's all you've known. Start small as another poster suggested and get your own apartment in town so when you relapse you can go running home to mom. Maybe 5-10 years from now you'll be ready to move out of state but for now I'd say across town will cause you huge issues let alone across country.

If you came across the country to LA you would be home in less than a month. I'm not trying to sound harsh, just trying to interpret your situation for you best I can.

[mattyluv]

Damn... I wish I was out of debt. More power to ya Matt!

[JTGJR]

Originally Posted by mattfromfl

I'm using my parents to pay off some debt right now, just like I'd use you too if I could. In a couple more months I'll be out of debt completely.

The key question is "have you learned?" Have you sketched out a plan to make your move without, once again, incurring a large debt? It sounds like your parents have been bailing you out of debt, but have also been a major funding source for your food, shelter and housekeeping.

My parents, brother, sisters, in-laws and their kids, we all live near each other, and we get along great too. I'm also the youngest in the family, I've been babied all my life. My parents have always bailed me out when I screwed up. I still live with them, my mom does my laundry, she packs my lunchbox for work. She makes me pasta and home-made Caesar salads after I get off work. While this might sound wonderful, the end result is a 35 year old baby that's scared of everyone. So my family has been like my support group that I can lean on, and I can't imagine being away from them.

This would indicate to me that you're not ready to make the move. Your life is good but you want to make some changes. As others have said, make some smaller changes with considerably less risk. Your family will always be a source of support for you, though not necessarily financially, and that's a good thing. Good luck to you!

[mattfromfl]

Thanks for your response JTGJR, and the other nice people. The debt incurred from some irresponsible behavior, a lesson I'm glad I learned here rather than somewhere else. It's one goal at a time for me right now. As I said, I'll be totally debt free in a couple months. I might move to CA, I might move into my sister's guest apartment here. I might even drive down to Miami one weekend and check that out. In the meantime I wind up surfing forums like this one, going through the ups and downs. Anytime I mention a move to my mom, she tells me my thinking is wrong, that it doesn't matter where one lives. Of course she points out that I have no friends or hobbies. I feel unmotivated to acquire either one because I hate the "container". But maybe I am wrong, maybe you can have a good life in a city you hate. Friendships are vital. I met up with a kid in the break room, I mentioned how boring my weekend was and how this city (and state) sucks. He totally agreed and wanted to escape also. So at least we were on the same wavelength. But the ones that actually moved down here and like it, I don't know if I could hang with them. But then again maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's must a matter of finding the right shaped ball to through at each other and that will make the city irrelevant.