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I think you could very well be right..Maybe people stay with someone who continually disapoints them because they feel that "this" is all they'll ever have...or deserve..maybe they've come to believe that (even if he/she is abusive) a negative love is better than no love at all...Maybe they think that "this" is all they'll ever have or can expect in life. I agree it has a lot to do with self-esteem, and how we were brought up...Maybe people stay with someone who is a bully because they've experienced a seldom seen sadness, and vulnerability in that partner, and they feel they can make it right........ My only hope would be that there is some joy and happiness on the hard road they've chosen.
A tag line in a recent movie was "We accept the love we think we deserve" (or something along those lines)
When we walk around in a "bottled-up state" some of our feelings are bound to leak out here and there..If we hate our job or feel unhappy in our marriage or just feel stressed and overburdened all the time this doesn't really make us "happy campers." So we may snap or "lose it" (in inappropriate ways) once in awhile due to all of our "internal irritations." (And the unresolved issues in our life.) Don't you think?...Of course it's better to be aware and alert at all times so we don't snap or "act-out" our frustrations and unhappiness on innocent bystanders..If I run into a clerk in a store who seems "snippy" and "snappy" I know things may not be going very well in his or her life...Same goes for people who "act-out" when they get in their cars. ("Road-rage.")...Obviously they are not very happy or at peace.
My mother, can't stand it if everything is going smoothly. She has a narcissistic personaliity, trouble from the word go. No wonder she has no friends and her children avoid her at all costs!
I think you could very well be right..Maybe people stay with someone who continually disapoints them because they feel that "this" is all they'll ever have...or deserve..maybe they've come to believe that (even if he/she is abusive) a negative love is better than no love at all...Maybe they think that "this" is all they'll ever have or can expect in life. I agree it has a lot to do with self-esteem, and how we were brought up...Maybe people stay with someone who is a bully because they've experienced a seldom seen sadness, and vulnerability in that partner, and they feel they can make it right........ My only hope would be that there is some joy and happiness on the hard road they've chosen.
purehuman...I think you're right on. The behavior you describe is often so subconscious that people aren't aware of how much it influences their life. Darn it...I wish there was a 'pill' to cure subconscious behavior We humans often act things out and have no idea why we're doing it...it's almost like it gets woven into our DNA after a while. Heredity. Behavior like this can be in our genes when it's been around for generations. Some forms of therapy do a generational diagram in order to pinpoint generational behavior patterns...it can be very helpful. The joy and happiness can come once we've faced these behavior patterns squarely and realized that we can break the chain and actually be happy. We DESERVE happiness.
Your topics can be interesting, but I find the overuse of quotation marks confusing (the same way some people feel about my color choice, so I understand if this is not something you care to change) - the bottom line is I don't read your posts - I find them too "chaotic!"
Not sure if you are for real or not. If you are, then it's just contradictory, because you do read them. Otherwise you would not post anything on the OPs threads.
If you aren´t then you are jut "trying" to sound "sarcastic" by showing the attitude of a "partypooper" and sounding like the people the OP is referring to, and "displaying" the "attitude" she dislikes, just as I am adding "quotation marks" just because you don´t "like" them.
And to the original poster:
Some people feed on negativity for everal reasons. They feel bad and misery loves company.There's nothing you can do about it but learn to ignore them. Yes, I know it's easier said than done.
But don´t let them change you. If you feel happy about something and a partypooper shows up, keep in mind h/she feels miserable deep inside, so there's nothing you can do, it's not your battle, don´t waste energy fighting toxic people.
Some times people don't feel good unless there is conflict in their lives...they were probably raised that way so it is their "normal"...
I use "..." way too often. It is because I am not quite finished with what I'm trying to say and actually haven't exactly figured out what it is I am saying...
Sometimes people were not taught how to resolve conflict constructively and they continue to "act out" with little concern for the repercussions. Most do not even know they are doing it. I've had personal experience with this behavior and feel it's analogous to a malignancy that must be cut out of your life. In my case, there was very little return from the relationship.
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We humans often act things out and have no idea why we're doing it...it's almost like it gets woven into our DNA after a while. Heredity. Behavior like this can be in our genes when it's been around for generations. Some forms of therapy do a generational diagram in order to pinpoint generational behavior patterns...it can be very helpful. The joy and happiness can come once we've faced these behavior patterns squarely and realized that we can break the chain and actually be happy. We DESERVE happiness.
