Ending Friendship with Mentally Ill Friends for Own Sanity

[swgirl926]

I am in the same boat as you are except I am the one with the mental disorder (bipolar) and the people who want to bend my ear are the normies. I guess I feel bad for having it and I want to prove that I bring value to a relationship by making things easier. There is a friend of mine that lives within walking distance of me with no mental diagnosis that I know of, yet she constantly has problems with getting along with her coworkers. I went to her house at 2 IN THE MORNING because she was upset that someone told her that she may be part of the problem. In May another friend with no history of mental illness tried to kill himself. Needless to say that this took a toll on me and now I am on short term leave to fix my own issues.

I guess the moral of the story is, that if they are not willing to help themselves and they are chronic complainers, it will wear down the healthiest of people and exacerbate any issues that YOU might have. It is a lot of work to stay stable and if I am willing to put in the work, why can't they? And I bet that if you needed something, you wouldn't hear a damn thing from them. Don't allow anyone to deplete your resources to the point where you yourself have trouble coping.

[nobodysbusiness]

Totally agree with you, OP. You can spend your whole life "in service" to people who basically just use you, with no regard for your feelings or your well-being.

It is NOT worth it.

I did not know there were so many users out there - "mentally ill" or not - if you want friendship, it must be reciprocal.

Every human being is ultimately responsible for themselves.

Some people hide behind all kinds of "disabilities" as a way to gain sympathy or have people take care of them.

Not cool.

[swgirl926]

Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness

Totally agree with you, OP. You can spend your whole life "in service" to people who basically just use you, with no regard for your feelings or your well-being.

It is NOT worth it.

I did not know there were so many users out there - "mentally ill" or not - if you want friendship, it must be reciprocal.

Every human being is ultimately responsible for themselves.

Some people hide behind all kinds of "disabilities" as a way to gain sympathy or have people take care of them.

Not cool.

Oh, yes, there are lots of users out there. I have the same problem as the OP. As if this summer didn't suck bad enough, a female friend slit her wrists and posted it on Facebook. I couldn't respond as I have enough bricks on my back as it is. It is partially my fault because I need to stop being so available to people.

I hate when people hide behind their illnesses. I am trying so damn hard to be normal because I do not want to burden anyone. A mood disorder doesn't mean you have the right to treat other people like crap. There are so many of us that you would never know unless we told you. People that pull this helpless act make me so mad because then people perceive ALL of us as being somehow "less than" and I don't want to be pitied; I want to be respected.

If anyone wants to help others, give them a resource and then STOP. You led the horse to water. If they do not want to do a Google search or call a toll-free number or read a book, that's on them. The OP is right; this neediness will drive you insane.