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Old 09-27-2007, 08:07 PM
 
73,087 posts, read 62,726,008 times
Reputation: 21951

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Quote:
Originally Posted by robind View Post
Sounds like the key is to make friends with other transplants.

Do you really want to hang out with people that still hang out with their elementary school friends? High School was great but I'd like to think I've moved on.

How boring to think I have friends and don't want to expand my circle or my life (or my mind). Skip over those folks. Find other transplants.

Look at imnotfromhere.com, meetup.com, newcomers groups and professional organizations. Look at clubs - running clubs, bike clubs, ski clubs, ...

It will take time. I've moved a lot. Meet people and make acquaintances. Friends will follow from there.

Starting with groups is easiest. Even if you don't have friends at least it's something to do.

I'm moving to MN next year. My worst fear isn't the winters or moving across or anything like that. It's making friends.

Good luck!
Tell me the truth, is it really nearly impossible to make friends with a born and raised Minnesotan, even if one strives to be Minnesotan with a smile(adapting to the cultural goods of MN) and honest enthusiasm?

 
Old 09-28-2007, 05:43 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,355,946 times
Reputation: 10695
Quote:
Originally Posted by robind View Post
Sounds like the key is to make friends with other transplants.

Do you really want to hang out with people that still hang out with their elementary school friends? High School was great but I'd like to think I've moved on.

How boring to think I have friends and don't want to expand my circle or my life (or my mind). Skip over those folks. Find other transplants.

Look at imnotfromhere.com, meetup.com, newcomers groups and professional organizations. Look at clubs - running clubs, bike clubs, ski clubs, ...

It will take time. I've moved a lot. Meet people and make acquaintances. Friends will follow from there.

Starting with groups is easiest. Even if you don't have friends at least it's something to do.

I'm moving to MN next year. My worst fear isn't the winters or moving across or anything like that. It's making friends.

Good luck!

I think you are making a lot of generalizations about people here, I know no one that hangs out with friends from elementary school, yes, a few high school friends that are still close, but for the most part people hang out with people that are in the same point of life they are--young and single usually hang out with other young/singles. People with teenagers tend to hang out with other people with teenagers, etc.

Yes, it is difficult to break into existing social circles but that happens EVERYWHERE. It just takes time and effort on your part to build a social circle. It isn't a Minnesota thing, it is a human nature thing.
 
Old 09-28-2007, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,658 times
Reputation: 346
. It isn't a Minnesota thing, it is a human nature thing.[/quote]

Actually, having been on both the East Coasts and West Coasts you are invited to dinner quite often. Here in MN it is rare that you are invited to dinner.
 
Old 09-28-2007, 02:45 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,355,946 times
Reputation: 10695
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
. It isn't a Minnesota thing, it is a human nature thing.


Actually, having been on both the East Coasts and West Coasts you are invited to dinner quite often. Here in MN it is rare that you are invited to dinner.[/quote]


It depends on your circle of friends and where you end up living. In some places we have lived in MN and other states people have been VERY open, welcoming, etc. and others have not. Our current neighborhood is not a very outgoing neighborhood, but our last one was great. This neighborhood is mostly transplants to the area where as our old neighborhood was full of 'locals'. It still comes down to human nature. Check out the boards for every other state here and you will find a similar post on every single board--"how do you meet people in MA, ID, CA, WI, LA, FL, AZ, etc."
 
Old 09-28-2007, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,658 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
[/i]

Actually, having been on both the East Coasts and West Coasts you are invited to dinner quite often. Here in MN it is rare that you are invited to dinner.

It depends on your circle of friends and where you end up living.



My son, born and bred in Minnesota who developed close friends here moved to NYC 10 years ago. When he returns on visits, apart from seeing his friends, he tells me, "Mom, I could never move back here. The people are so aloof, indifferent, not warm."

The majority of people on this "board" even Minnesota-born say likewise.
 
Old 09-28-2007, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Eagan, Minnesota
751 posts, read 1,180,663 times
Reputation: 151
I don't agree with a lot of what has been said here. This thread gives newcomers the impression that Minnesotans are "cold and unfriendly", that is so far from the truth. Minnesotans in my opinion are some of the friendliest and most helpful people you will ever meet. I remember the first time I came to Minneapolis, long before I even thought about moving here and people would actually say "Hi" as I walked down the street, to me, that was unheard and unimaginable, especially for someone coming from the East Coast. A few years ago, I got into an accident by the 35 W bridge that collapsed, my truck spun out of control during heavy rain and I hit the median, long story short, three different people stopped to see if I was OK, it was pouring out and I highly doubt the same would have happened in places like NYC, Chicago or Boston. How many times was I walking downtown Minneapolis looking for a place or a business, and just randomly asked a person for directions or information, never in my life got a negative response or an attitude. It takes time to make friends here, but I still find Minnesotans (generally speaking) some of the most helpful people you will ever find.
 
Old 09-28-2007, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,658 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by lukeache View Post
I don't agree with a lot of what has been said here. This thread gives newcomers the impression that Minnesotans are "cold and unfriendly", that is so far from the truth. Minnesotans in my opinion are some of the friendliest and most helpful people you will ever meet. I remember the first time I came to Minneapolis, long before I even thought about moving here and people would actually say "Hi" as I walked down the street, to me, that was unheard and unimaginable, especially for someone coming from the East Coast. A few years ago, I got into an accident by the 35 W bridge that collapsed, my truck spun out of control during heavy rain and I hit the median, long story short, three different people stopped to see if I was OK, it was pouring out and I highly doubt the same would have happened in places like NYC, Chicago or Boston. How many times was I walking downtown Minneapolis looking for a place or a business, and just randomly asked a person for directions or information, never in my life got a negative response or an attitude. It takes time to make friends here, but I still find Minnesotans (generally speaking) some of the most helpful people you will ever find.
OK people do say hi. But that's as far as it goes. Strangers help but that's as far as it goes. They will help you out in a snowstorm, sure. I'm not talking about that. That is what is known as Minnesota NICE - it goes only so far - surface only. Try to ask these people who help you if they want to have a cup of coffee with you and more than not, they will say thanks, but I gotta go.... I was talking about forming friendships and going to each others houses for dinner. As you said it takes time here. It can take forever.
 
Old 09-29-2007, 05:01 PM
 
Location: MN
1,669 posts, read 6,239,561 times
Reputation: 959
Quote:
Originally Posted by robind View Post
Sounds like the key is to make friends with other transplants.

Do you really want to hang out with people that still hang out with their elementary school friends? High School was great but I'd like to think I've moved on.

How boring to think I have friends and don't want to expand my circle or my life (or my mind). Skip over those folks. Find other transplants.

Look at imnotfromhere.com, meetup.com, newcomers groups and professional organizations. Look at clubs - running clubs, bike clubs, ski clubs, ...

It will take time. I've moved a lot. Meet people and make acquaintances. Friends will follow from there.

Starting with groups is easiest. Even if you don't have friends at least it's something to do.

I'm moving to MN next year. My worst fear isn't the winters or moving across or anything like that. It's making friends.

Good luck!
I was born in MN and didn't keep any friends from high school after high school. I have moved to multiple different areas in the state and never had trouble making new friends anywhere that I moved. I have not found making new friends in MN any harder than in any other state that I have lived in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
OK people do say hi. But that's as far as it goes. Strangers help but that's as far as it goes. They will help you out in a snowstorm, sure. I'm not talking about that. That is what is known as Minnesota NICE - it goes only so far - surface only. Try to ask these people who help you if they want to have a cup of coffee with you and more than not, they will say thanks, but I gotta go.... I was talking about forming friendships and going to each others houses for dinner. As you said it takes time here. It can take forever.
I don't think people in any state usually stop to help strangers at the roadside, then join them for a cup of coffee afterwards.
 
Old 09-29-2007, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,658 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by moving123456 View Post
I was born in MN and didn't keep any friends from high school after high school. I have moved to multiple different areas in the state and never had trouble making new friends anywhere that I moved. I have not found making new friends in MN any harder than in any other state that I have lived in.



I don't think people in any state usually stop to help strangers at the roadside, then join them for a cup of coffee afterwards.



Geez. It was an analogy. I made my point and so did many others on this topic in agreement with what I said. It's a sad state in that way. Wonder why you didn't keep any friends after high school. Makes me wonder if what the rest of what you say is true.
 
Old 09-30-2007, 07:34 PM
 
58 posts, read 230,992 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by lukeache View Post
I don't agree with a lot of what has been said here. This thread gives newcomers the impression that Minnesotans are "cold and unfriendly", that is so far from the truth. Minnesotans in my opinion are some of the friendliest and most helpful people you will ever meet. I remember the first time I came to Minneapolis, long before I even thought about moving here and people would actually say "Hi" as I walked down the street, to me, that was unheard and unimaginable, especially for someone coming from the East Coast. A few years ago, I got into an accident by the 35 W bridge that collapsed, my truck spun out of control during heavy rain and I hit the median, long story short, three different people stopped to see if I was OK, it was pouring out and I highly doubt the same would have happened in places like NYC, Chicago or Boston. How many times was I walking downtown Minneapolis looking for a place or a business, and just randomly asked a person for directions or information, never in my life got a negative response or an attitude. It takes time to make friends here, but I still find Minnesotans (generally speaking) some of the most helpful people you will ever find.
Yes, people in Minneapolis/Minnesota are nice, but that does NOT make them ultimately good friends. In fact, Minnesotans are quite the opposite. I am sort of shocked how people smile and then bad-mouth others behind their back. This whole non-confrontational culture is taken too far. To the point where it's doing more damage, then good.

As far as other places go, I think there are nice people everywhere. I also had a flat tire in NYC, Brooklyn and I had a couple of people stop by and ask if I needed help. THen when i travel in Minneapolis with my heavy suite-cases, no one offers to help me lift it. When I come back to Manhattan, several people do. This is merely to demonstate the point that there are nice people EVERYWHERE.

But NOWHERE else have I seen so much pretenciosness, and cheesy flaky sugar-coated niceness that is not really genuine. I guess it's hard for Minnesotans to comprehend and accept the fact that their superficial attitude needs major improvement.
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