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WASHINGTON - Tonight Oxford, Mississippi unanimously passed a resolution recognizing the dignity and worth of all city residents - including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT). Oxford joins two other Mississippi cities - Starkville and Hattiesburg - which both passed similar resolutions earlier this year.
Fantastic! A wonderful illustration of the Great Dichotomy in the state. And a reminder to Mississippi's young people that on the good side of that Dichotomy, there are those who are enlightened and productive, and who have better things to do with their time, and with their minds, than to obsess over the sexuality of others.
Or, as Blanche DuBois would put it, there are a sizable number of Mississippians who choose not to hang back with the brutes.
Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 03-05-2014 at 07:05 AM..
... It's not like gays had crosses burned in their yards or anything.
If only to honor the memory of my two Gay classmates who were brutalized until they killed themselves, I am here to tell you that what has routinely happened to Gay People in Mississippi amounts to something far more substantive than crosses being burned in yards.
All over the state, the persecution, exploitation, and subjugation of Gay People - both in insidious ways and in more overt ways like physical violence - has been largely swept out of sight.
Deep in the Mississippi Delta, there used to stand a classic Mississippi general store: solid cypress - a porch on three sides - a gathering place in the mornings, for farmers in that locale. It was the first 'brick & mortar' store for the first Mr. Stein, whose descendants would go on to found Stein Mart. The structure was widely admired, and the amiable social web, for which it served as nucleus, was greatly treasured.
But just before the arrival of the Steins, sometime early in the Twentieth Century, something very dark and frightening happened there. Another Jewish merchant, with a, "...name like Eichelberger - rather awkward, and inviting contempt in its own right.", was Proprietor. The Merchant was identified as a homosexual, and "run out of the country" by a "group of the menfolk", in a way that was too horrific to be relayed. My source was told this by a grandparent, probably as a way of cautioning him against 'being effeminate'.
That was a recurring theme in Mississippi, until very recently: elders discretely trying to save their boys who were 'not manly-enough', and their girls who were, "you know...". "When you get into the Army, they're going to...", "When you get up to Ole Miss, they're going to..." - threats of gang violence against those who were unseemly. Those with means sent their vulnerable family members off to good schools, and/or counseled them, "You need to go up to New York and live.", or "You need to move down to New Orleans like your Cousin Bobbeh did...". Those without means and mobility simply prayed.
In New Orleans, Uptown, The Garden District, The Faubourg Marigny, and The French Quarter were (and perhaps still are) full of discarded Mississippians, who went there to rot and die. Luckier are the Gays who put down roots in Dallas, Atlanta, and Manhattan. Those who stayed where they were born lived incredibly sad and stunted lives. At best, they were "The Town Joke". At worst? Well... such incidents were swept under the rug. Mississippi's Gays did not have activists coming down from New York by the bus-load, to save them. The New York Times and the television networks did not make it their business to endlessly expose the plight of Mississippi's Gays, as they exposed the plight of other victims of oppression in Mississippi. Federal troops were not sent into Mississippi's schools, to force cessation of physical attacks against those perceived as 'qu--rs'. Gays suffered in silence.
In Jackson, furniture stores and "houses of design" could pay their Gay men pittances, because, after all, "They're just little f--s. Who else is gonna hire them." Same with the ad agencies, the banks, the architecture firms, the department stores... Even in the Early Nineties, in the building where I had my Home Office, there was an architect who, even though he and his wife were supposedly "sophisticated and liberal", treated their Gay employees as something shameful and to be 'tolerated'. That office, like mine, was built on the talents and work ethic of its Gay men. But, when there were parties and office gatherings, while the firm's heterosexual employees were encouraged to bring their spouses, their children, or just whoever it was they were dating, the Gay employees were not - not even in the case of Significant Others who were basically married to Gay employees who'd been with the firm since its inception. And I hope none of those employees ever heard the way that Employer and its wife joked about them behind their backs. I don't think they even realized how ugly they sounded.
Families treated their Gays in much the same way as did that employer. The 'strange ones' were tolerated, as long as they stayed 'in their places'. They could be lap dogs for matriarchs, and the butt of jokes. But they were generally not invited to "go in farmin' with Daddy", or to go into the family business. They were not encouraged to go to law school, or to medical school. Simple ideation of success was subtly forbidden for Gay boys in Mississippi. Even today, Greatest Generation members of families become quite upset to hear anything about Gay relatives that is not sinister or pitiful. "They've blocked-out the fact that I was on the Dean's List. They continually speak as if I never got a degree. They absolutely refuse to process the fact that I've been with the same firm for thirty years. They think I need to move down to New Orleans and sell things on the street. They 'love me', but only 'in my place'.
But if outsiders, today, think that by moving to Mississippi, they will have arrived in a milieu where they can finally, fully express their inner nastiness, backwardness, and "Conservatism"... I think they will have been mistaken. And I think that they need to stay in the places that spawned them.
Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 03-05-2014 at 09:53 AM..
If only to honor the memory of my two Gay classmates who were brutalized until they killed themselves, I am here to tell you that what has routinely happened to Gay People in Mississippi amounts to something far more substantive than crosses being burned in yards.
All over the state, the persecution, exploitation, and subjugation of Gay People - both in insidious ways and in more overt ways like physical violence - has been largely swept out of sight.
Deep in the Mississippi Delta, there used to stand a classic Mississippi general store: solid cypress - a porch on three sides - a gathering place in the mornings, for farmers in that locale. It was the first 'brick & mortar' store for the first Mr. Stein, whose descendants would go on to found Stein Mart. The structure was widely admired, and the amiable social web, for which it served as nucleus, was greatly treasured.
But just before the arrival of the Steins, sometime early in the Twentieth Century, something very dark and frightening happened there. Another Jewish merchant, with a, "...name like Eichelberger - rather awkward, and inviting contempt in its own right.", was Proprietor. The Merchant was identified as a homosexual, and "run out of the country" by a "group of the menfolk", in a way that was too horrific to be relayed. My source was told this by a grandparent, probably as a way of cautioning him against 'being effeminate'.
That was a recurring theme in Mississippi, until very recently: elders discretely trying to save their boys who were 'not manly-enough', and their girls who were, "you know...". "When you get into the Army, they're going to...", "When you get up to Ole Miss, they're going to..." - threats of gang violence against those who were unseemly. Those with means sent their vulnerable family members off to good schools, and/or counseled them, "You need to go up to New York and live.", or "You need to move down to New Orleans like your Cousin Bobbeh did...". Those without means and mobility simply prayed.
In New Orleans, Uptown, The Garden District, The Faubourg Marigny, and The French Quarter were (and perhaps still are) full of discarded Mississippians, who went there to rot and die. Luckier are the Gays who put down roots in Dallas, Atlanta, and Manhattan. Those who stayed where they were born lived incredibly sad and stunted lives. At best, they were "The Town Joke". At worst? Well... such incidents were swept under the rug. Mississippi's Gays did not have activists coming down from New York by the bus-load, to save them. The New York Times and the television networks did not make it their business to endlessly expose the plight of Mississippi's Gays, as they exposed the plight of other victims of oppression in Mississippi. Federal troops were not sent into Mississippi's schools, to force cessation of physical attacks against those perceived as 'qu--rs'. Gays suffered in silence.
In Jackson, furniture stores and "houses of design" could pay their Gay men pittances, because, after all, "They're just little f--s. Who else is gonna hire them." Same with the ad agencies, the banks, the architecture firms, the department stores... Even in the Early Nineties, in the building where I had my Home Office, there was an architect who, even though he and his wife were supposedly "sophisticated and liberal", treated their Gay employees as something shameful and to be 'tolerated'. That office, like mine, was built on the talents and work ethic of its Gay men. But, when there were parties and office gatherings, while the firm's heterosexual employees were encouraged to bring their spouses, their children, or just whoever it was they were dating, the Gay employees were not - not even in the case of Significant Others who were basically married to Gay employees who'd been with the firm since its inception. And I hope none of those employees ever heard the way that Employer and its wife joked about them behind their backs. I don't think they even realized how ugly they sounded.
Families treated their Gays in much the same way as did that employer. The 'strange ones' were tolerated, as long as they stayed 'in their places'. They could be lap dogs for matriarchs, and the butt of jokes. But they were generally not invited to "go in farmin' with Daddy", or to go into the family business. They were not encouraged to go to law school, or to medical school. Simple ideation of success was subtly forbidden for Gay boys in Mississippi. Even today, Greatest Generation members of families become quite upset to hear anything about Gay relatives that is not sinister or pitiful. "They've blocked-out the fact that I was on the Dean's List. They continually speak as if I never got a degree. They absolutely refuse to process the fact that I've been with the same firm for thirty years. They think I need to move down to New Orleans and sell things on the street. They 'love me', but only 'in my place'.
But if outsiders, today, think that by moving to Mississippi, they will have arrived in a milieu where they can finally, fully express their inner nastiness, backwardness, and "Conservatism"... I think they will have been mistaken. And I think that they need to stay in the places that spawned them.
No need to lecture me, I have a possibly closeted uncle, who may-or-may-not have an actor bromance with another man.
Sure, my family doesn't talk about it. But it's not like we treat him like you'd suggest we do.
Sorry Gloria, I disagree (I do respect and am interested in your opinion on most topics).
Where do the special rights/recognitions end? Jews have certainly faced as much travesty as any group in history (much, much, much more than gays), why don't they have their special proclamations in Starkville, Hattiesburg and Oxford? What about Asians, left-handed people, polygamists, American Indians, etc.?
There is no question, a large population groups (blacks) in this country were denied basic civic rights and opportunities up through the mid part of the last century. They needed special protection from the government at that time.
Gays make up an extremely small percentage of the population, but have an extraordinary amount of rights, voice and sway on public opinion. When you have infiltrated the media, or at least got the media's pity, you can really drive public opinion.
I have a gay nephew and work with gay people; I have no interest in their sexual orientation. By in large, the gays I work with are more successful than their straight counterparts. I assume this is because of "taking care of your own" and being able to put in longer hours due to not having the time constraints of a traditional family. Organizational leaders care about one thing, results. Most could care less about an employee's sexual orientation.
Do gay kids get beat up? Do white, black, Hispanic and Asian straight kids get beat up? Do Jewish kids get beat up? Yes to all, some even die.
I do not like PDA (public display of affection) and I don't flaunt my romantic relationship with my wife, I save all that for behind closed doors. From my time on active duty back in the 80s, I can tell you that gays found each other in a day or two, without having to flaunt their sexuality. No one cared as long as they did what they did in private, same with heterosexuals.
This is all PC run amuck. Special rights for this and that. What happened to get up, go to work, raise your family (if you choose to have one), live your life, obey the law, pay taxes and not infringing on others? I don’t need to know your gay, you don’t need to know I’m straight.
College towns are always great! In almost every southern state that lacks major cities, college towns are usually the most progressive.
My gay cousin is already excited and she happens to be a college student at Ole Miss Law School. I support equality so my cousin can be able to marry like I can.
Sorry Gloria, I disagree (I do respect and am interested in your opinion on most topics).
Where do the special rights/recognitions end? Jews have certainly faced as much travesty as any group in history (much, much, much more than gays), why don't they have their special proclamations in Starkville, Hattiesburg and Oxford? What about Asians, left-handed people, polygamists, American Indians, etc.?
Jews don't lose jobs, denied for housing, same with Asians, left-handed people, polygamists, and Native Americans.
Quote:
There is no question, a large population groups (blacks) in this country were denied basic civic rights and opportunities up through the mid part of the last century. They needed special protection from the government at that time.
Gays are denied basic civil rights and opportunities. Like marriage, maybe?
Quote:
Gays make up an extremely small percentage of the population, but have an extraordinary amount of rights, voice and sway on public opinion. When you have infiltrated the media, or at least got the media's pity, you can really drive public opinion.
That's impossible for you to know. Especially when oppressive persons feel the way you do about something that has nothing to do with you or your livelihood.
Quote:
I have a gay nephew and work with gay people; I have no interest in their sexual orientation. By in large, the gays I work with are more successful than their straight counterparts. I assume this is because of "taking care of your own" and being able to put in longer hours due to not having the time constraints of a traditional family. Organizational leaders care about one thing, results. Most could care less about an employee's sexual orientation.
I have a gay cousin and I have no interests in it either. No, it's because those people just happen to be more successful. I know gay people who don't do diddly and gay people getting advanced degrees. You seem to care.
Quote:
Do gay kids get beat up? Do white, black, Hispanic and Asian straight kids get beat up? Do Jewish kids get beat up? Yes to all, some even die.
Gay kids get beat up everywhere, many people who feel like you would condone such antics to a child. Black kids don't usually get beat up for being black, as people aren't as open about their racism as they are about their hatred for gay people. Most other kids don't get singled out for something they can't change, not enough to make it a big deal.
It is a big deal.
Quote:
I do not like PDA (public display of affection) and I don't flaunt my romantic relationship with my wife, I save all that for behind closed doors. From my time on active duty back in the 80s, I can tell you that gays found each other in a day or two, without having to flaunt their sexuality. No one cared as long as they did what they did in private, same with heterosexuals.
What's the point of this? So now people are more open about it? Oh well, you're a grown man, you've seen worse things. Now they have less of a chance to end up lynched in the Yazoo.
Quote:
This is all PC run amuck. Special rights for this and that. What happened to get up, go to work, raise your family (if you choose to have one), live your life, obey the law, pay taxes and not infringing on others? I don’t need to know your gay, you don’t need to know I’m straight.
What happened to people not getting discriminated against? What happens when that gay man can't raise his family, can't live his life, and can't get the same benefits other families take advantage of? Why do you feel threatened that this will eventually sweep over the nation and you will soon look like the racist fools in the 50s and 60s?
People are being denied basic rights because they are gay, they cannot change being gay. That is unconstitutional and I'm embarrassed to live with so many ignorant people in this "free" nation.
Look at the next man you see and imagine yourself cuddled up with him. It is not a choice.
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Hip Hip Hooray! You go Mississippi!!!!
