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Did not mean to be mean, I do think, though that perhaps calling her and just letting her know might provide some sort of a closure, I don't think it would be intruding.
Yes, it absolutely would be intruding. He owes her no apology whatsoever and needs to leave the past where it belongs.
You just described me exactly as I was when I was 29. And I realized how bad that was when I was 31. Now I am trying to avoid being that 40something who thinks he has married someone better. Being single has its perks and I enjoyed it, but I enjoyed it for too long and now I am in a hurry to go to the next level. I feel anxiety about it everyday when I wake up. I know this is more typically a female problem (as they understandably have real biological issues to think about). Everyone has given me the same advice--which is not to date this girl I dont love. But on paper, she is perfect. I should give it a chance I think. Some people fall in love right away. Other people meet and slowly fall in love. Maybe I will be in the latter category.
Yes, some people fall in love slower than others do. BUT- if you are not sexually attracted to this girl (your words, not mine), you are in for a world of hurt, my friend. She is going to eventually figure out you're not that attracted to her because it WILL be obvious and she will be devastated and it will Dona lot of damage to her self-image and self-esteem. Imagine being with a girl you're in love with and finding out she has to fantasize about ex-boyfriends, celebrities, her boss, etc to get excited enough to be with you. Talk about a big blow to your self image and manhood. Would you ever really trust the girl after that?
You seem hell-bent on shoving this square peg relationship into the round marriage hole....don't say we warned you when you're married to this girl who is "perfect wife and mother" material and you come across the woman who gives you butterflies and gets you all worked up. You will end up cheating on this girl, I almost guarentee it. Sexual attraction isn't everything, but it's the ONE thing that separates a marriage/romantic relationship from a friendship/roomate agreement.
Unfortunately, most of the time you cant get everything you want in 1 person. I didnt mean for it to sound like that. If you get a good honest pretty woman....marry her. Stop thinking with your you know what. Im happily married and know if/when I have a child it will have been with the right person....People look for something that RARELY exists....You arent gonna find many double D models who want to have babies and change diapers. Aint gonna happen. Stay single if thats the case.
There was a thread about marriage in NYC and women and their biological clock. I thought it was very informative and wanted to start a similar thread from a male's point of view.
I am a male, 33, successful, nice body, pretty good looking, athletic, great apt. Until about the age of 31, I enjoyed going out and partying in this city and random hookups (have lived here since college at age 17). I had a few serious relationships--one of which, in retrospect was the love of my life (age 24-27). I gave it up though because she wanted to get married and I was not ready.
Bad decision. When I hit 31, I hit the same "time-bomb" in my head that usually only afflict women. I became obsessed with marrying before all the nice girls are off the market. I have every intention of being married and having children. I know 33 is still somewhat young, but if I meet the girl of my dreams tomorrow (in the best case), we get married in the Spring of 2012, she gets pregnant a year later the baby pops out 9 months after that and I am 37. In the best case. Then when he/she is 13, I am 50. Sounds a little old to be having kids, my youngest would be younger.
I don't know why it never occurred to me earlier in life...the time just flew by so fast. If I had this mentality at 26, I would be married by now.
Am I being crazy? Any other guys out there feel the way I do?
Why in the world would u want a girl ur not sexually attracted to? That just sounds insane. Anyway, you should probably take a look a nomarriage.com b4 u think marriage is such a hot idea. Nowadays it just seems like a way to be able to afford a house.
You are right--I did pick the shallow ones--these are the things that I feel are most important to women. But I do think I am sweet, romantic, intelligent, etc.
Exactly where did he say that's what he's looking for? Thanks for sharing your fantasy (not).
Asking to find someone to fall in love with is not the same as asking to find a double D model who changes diapers!
You took the one part that was totally a joke...sheesh. Thanks for the jab also, right back at ya. This guy said he had a nice girl, but let her move on. Now has another girl who might be a good fit, but no attraction. You dont get many 'keepers' in life.
My main point is he may have missed the boat or he is one of those people who is looking for the EXACT perfect match. That doesnt exist, thats why I said what you quoted me on. Fact is, the older you get the less desirable your situation to have a family is. It sounds like typical 'nobody is out there for me, minus the girls I hooked up with/blew off/ found faults in'.
It kills me when guys push a couple nice girls aside in their life and then complain about it.
Sounds exactly like a friend I knew who wouldnt marry his girl because she wasnt perfect. Shes got kids and married now and he's a 37 yr old looking for Ms. Perfect. Aint gonna happen.
Of course she broke up with you...she had a quasi-political agenda to pursue (ie; marriage, and probably children by a certain age) and you were in the way of it.
No matter. She has moved on and apparently achieved her agenda, and in doing so has demonstrated your utter replaceable-ness. My point here is that calling her your soul mate is ridiculous...she's as utterly replaceable as you were to her. If it had really been all about the two of you being together, she would have hung around a couple more years until you came around, (and you would have...) but all it really proved is that you two weren't meant to be long term.
Yeah, I do agree. Much of the love that I had for her was related to our three years together--spending all our time together and getting to know each other. Yes, she is replaceable--I dont really believe in soulmates--its more like a process of just knowing each other and liking each other enough to fall in love. And that's what I am seeking now. Another girl who has the time to spend with me and someone I like enough to begin the process of falling in love. But its so hard in this city...first to meet someone, then to see them enough to fall in love. Its pretty important to be in the same neighborhood and you need a commitment on both sides to spend time together.
In the meantime, I suffer panic attacks every morning as I realize another day has gone by and I have still not met anyone. I dont turn 34 until next June, but if I have not found someone by then, well...I will be disappointed.
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. Anyway, you should probably take a look a nomarriage.com b4 u think marriage is such a hot idea. Nowadays it just seems like a way to be able to afford a house.
