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Goes to show how out of touch I am with the dating scene. I thought that if I *didn't* pay half on the first date, then the guy would expect me to put out that night. Maybe I am only thinking about the horror stories I hear from my single friends. But seriously, I ain't getting into bed with anyone until I trust him enough, and that can take weeks or longer!
Your not the only one out of touch with the dating, according to the NYT majority of Generation Y or Millennials are out of touch with dating and other forms of courtship. Plenty of guys dont know what to expect but also women want so much these days that a guy cant really give her, to much entitlements. I think much people in this city like those who grew up in single mother homes in Bronx and Brooklyn, much of Upper Manhattan and Transplants who come from divorced Suburban homes withnessed their parents make bad choices picking mates, this has a huge impact on this generation especially here in NYC. No one dates here, its call hanging out. As a Gen Yer I agree with some of what this article says. I hope this helps you OP. Generally if the guy is cute or has money plus douchebage, most females will put out the first day regardless who pays, if he looks like average joe creepy nice guy, you will probably take a longtime to sleep with him, most likely you will ask your friends for advice.
I can't believe some people here are saying NYC women are "sluttish" when it's the transplant women with the "Samantha" from Sex in the City fantasies giving it up for a guy just saying "Hi, my name is Matt. What's yours?".
These same women will not only give it up the first date, they will actually pay for THEIR PORTION of the meal or date too. So, in essence, the men are basically getting the "goods" for FREE.
Um, NO.
There is not that much hardupness in the damn world! Dude will pay for ALL of my drinks, dinner, movies, etc., and he may or may not get some, but he sure won't get it for FREE like these flyover state transplants give it away for.
You'll be giving it up for free soon enough.
Women have a short shelf life as it is ( when it comes sexuality vis a vis the opposite sex) and that holds more true in NYC.
Whereas men tend to get more attractive with age ( on average), women don't. Most men will take a less attractive 25 year old over a more attractive 35 year old any day.
I'm not saying you should change your philosophy when it comes to " giving it up" but don't discount the valid reasons for why some women give it up so soon. If they're not planning on marriage anytime soon ( say before 30) it actually makes sense to treat sex as a hobby.
Once you have to compete with 20 And 25 year olds, you'll be practically begging for dudes to screwyou on the first date. I'm not even joking. The entire dynamic changes not just with an older women but also with the older guys. To put it bluntly A 30 or 35 year old guy won't be as aggressive at going after your vagina as a 25 year old. Right now, you may be disgusted by that but as you get older you'll miss it. Lol
We have to reject the notion that women have a "shelf life" (and I'm one of those young 20s women). Who needs immature men who are after girls half their age? Whenever an older, typically unattractive man—10 or more years older—tries to flirt with me, I usually direct him toward the nearest woman of his own age that I spot. Apologies to her, of course, for dumping the loser on her.
Men like to daydream on the internet of scenarios where high quality, attractive women will "give it up" in exchange for minimal effort on their part. They revel in this idea that by having sex, they're "taking" something from her. Women are convinced that they have to rush out and settle for the first loser who says "hey baby". And who's to say that it's the woman who gives anything up? How do you know that you're not giving it up? What if you're another notch on her bedpost and she goes to hi-five her girlfriends later for bagging yet another easy man without self-respect?
I am coming to the end of a nearly 6 year relationship. Before that, I was in a 3 year relationship. With both men, we were friends first before we became a couple. So I've never been a part of the dating scene and, honestly, I'm scared to death.
I will enjoy the single life for awhile once I move out of my boyfriend's apartment, but feel the need to mentally prepare myself. I am a 29 year old white female. I'm not overweight and I like to jog. I take pride in my income so I like to split bills and keep things financially equal with my friends and partners. I don't care for drama and do my best to avoid annoying women things (nagging, running my mouth, talking about girly crap men don't care about). I like to watch football, soccer and action movies. I am enthusiastic about traveling and seeing the world. I love dogs, especially big and mean looking ones (they are 3x cuter when you realize they are goofballs). I'm not interested in having children, but would like to get married to the right guy someday. My current boyfriend has told me the best thing about me is that he can get the best of both worlds with me: I can joke around like he's with guy-friends, and I have a vagina. Unfortunately, he is not the right person for me.
So... given the above, how are my chances landing a decent guy around here? Am I too old and therefore screwed no matter what?
Meet men in real time, stay away from social dating sites. Please.
Some people have been successful with internet dating. I never dabbled it in seriously. I think it's here to stay. Most people I know here in NYC, met their significant others either through work, through school, or through a common friend or aquaintance. Many people just don't have the time to really work on their social life in order to establish the kind of relationships to facilitate meeting people. Others are new to the city and a dating site certainly helps.
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