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Women can breastfeed wherever they choose. I always have and if I have more children, I certainly will continue. I neve bare my breasts in public because it is never called for. You needn't expose so much breast tissue to nurse a baby.
What is this obsession with breasts? They were made with one purpose in mind-nursing a baby. Get over it.
How about the heavy pda? I'd like to see a stop to that. Leave breastfeeding infants alone.
I am appalled to read the comments of some posters, men and women, regarding this issue.
In South America, Central America, and Spain breastfeeding a baby in public is NOT an issue that needs the mother to hide her bossoms and cover up in order to stop voyeurs from watching. It just does not happen. Women feel completely free to breastfeed their babies in public transportation, if needed, and people go about their business, paying no attention to it.
A woman can bare as much as she wants of her breasts, or as little, and nobody seems to get offended or stares. It is something that is publicly -accepted.
So why in the USA is such an issue? Why is it that this mere act is so sexualized? Could it be because most American males are highly-obssesed with womens' breasts? Well, then, if most women start breastfeeding in public the enigma of females breasts for males will end, and it will be accepted, and teenagers will not have to succumb to the need of asking parents for implants as graduation gifts. We need to change society's perception and attitude toward female breasts.
In Spanish-speaking countries men are not obssesed with womens' breasts.
Explain to me how hard it is for a woman to breast feed while covering up. My wife breast feed our kid in public but she did it with regards to other peoples feelings as well. She was RESPONSIBLE enough to carry with her a nursing blanket and to wear her special bra. You could never tell she was nursing, she did it discreetly. We also made sure the baby was fed before going to a restaurant so that we could avoid having to do it while people ate. I am all for women being able to breast feed in public but they also need to understand that not everyone wants to see that and that it just takes a few simple steps in order to do it discreetly. I don't think that is to much to ask from a mother. Some women are just to feminist to be respectful of others.
I know this story will **** some of you off but I think I was in the right. I hosted a gathering at my house a few months ago, we are all sitting around in my living room when one of the ladies decides to whip out her breast and breast feed her kid I told her to go do that somewhere else (politely), she said why. I told her because it's my house and I want her too, she could have asked me first and I would have let her use one of our rooms. Needles to say she got upset so I ended up kicking her out. Everyone at the party both men and women agreed she was disrespectful to me being the homeowner and the others at the party.
[font=Arial]I know this story will **** some of you off but I think I was in the right. I hosted a gathering at my house a few months ago, we are all sitting around in my living room when one of the ladies decides to whip out her breast and breast feed her kid I told her to go do that somewhere else (politely), she said why. I told her because it's my house and I want her too, she could have asked me first and I would have let her use one of our rooms. Needles to say she got upset so I ended up kicking her out. Everyone at the party both men and women agreed she was disrespectful to me being the homeowner and the others at the party.
So not only did you prohibit the baby from being fed, you also kicked the hapless female and her baby out? Did you consider at all that maybe, being a dinner guest, she assumed that your hospitality would extend to letting her feed her baby?
I don't endorse your behavior. Yeah, it's your house, your rights. But since you published your narrative here, I'd like to kindly say that I don't find your behavior to be commendable either as a host or as a man with a family.
Last edited by Moderate Guy; 11-25-2008 at 12:23 PM..
Reason: typo
Goodness, I was always taught to defer to guests, save for house rules on smoking and other behaviors that are out of the code of conduct for a guest, but feeding an infant is not something that would not push me to asking someone to leave the premises. There are ways to ask discreetly, such as offering a more comfortable chair that happens to be in another room, but if the lady refuses the hospitable offer, one's duty as host is to carry on normally and not create a spectacle.
And, then, on a subsequent visit, you could mention politely that you have an area set up so that she could nurse and change the baby for her use, and show it to her, making sure that it has the privacy you desire, even encouraging her to put her diaper bag in this area for handy use. Most people would get the hint, that if there is a designated area, that they are being encouraged to use it, and there would be no ill feelings.
It's not unacceptable to ask that the mother nurse the child in private, but one needs to do so discreetly and at the outset of the function, not mid-way through it. When they arrive, be sure to show them the room that you would like them to use for that purpose, saying something like, "I think we have everything set up in here for you for nursing and changing, but let me know if you need anything else." This would take care of basic needs, such as trash bags for used diapers and wipes, etc. without making the guest feel uncomfortable as to the policy. But, in the absence of such accommodation, they are well within their right to act as they would in their own home for something like feeding the baby.
Goodness, I was always taught to defer to guests, save for house rules on smoking and other behaviors that are out of the code of conduct for a guest, but feeding an infant is not something that would not push me to asking someone to leave the premises. There are ways to ask discreetly, such as offering a more comfortable chair that happens to be in another room, but if the lady refuses the hospitable offer, one's duty as host is to carry on normally and not create a spectacle.
And, then, on a subsequent visit, you could mention politely that you have an area set up so that she could nurse and change the baby for her use, and show it to her, making sure that it has the privacy you desire, even encouraging her to put her diaper bag in this area for handy use. Most people would get the hint, that if there is a designated area, that they are being encouraged to use it, and there would be no ill feelings.
It's not unacceptable to ask that the mother nurse the child in private, but one needs to do so discreetly and at the outset of the function, not mid-way through it. When they arrive, be sure to show them the room that you would like them to use for that purpose, saying something like, "I think we have everything set up in here for you for nursing and changing, but let me know if you need anything else." This would take care of basic needs, such as trash bags for used diapers and wipes, etc. without making the guest feel uncomfortable as to the policy. But, in the absence of such accommodation, they are well within their right to act as they would in their own home for something like feeding the baby.
Good points. I understand the poster's chagrin and obvious discomfort and the private room seems best for all parties concerned. What I would have perhaps done was to say to myself, well miles, you don't like this to be done in the open at the table, but hospitality demands graciousness in allowing the baby to be fed.
How often in life have we not as hosts made an allowance to house guests' actions that aren't what we consider ideal, that strain our hospitality, but we allow anyway, if when it's all done, the house remains intact, no dishes are destroyed, the furniture is still there? And in the poster's scenario, a baby is well fed and a mom is happy to enjoy the dessert that you would have so graciously served had you not sent her packing into, who knows what, a dark, cold winter night or a humid, sticky summer evening, baby unfed, mother demoralised.
Did the other guests, who agreed with the poster's actions, enjoy their desserts, I wonder?
Last edited by Moderate Guy; 11-25-2008 at 01:00 PM..
Reason: typo
Good points. I understand the poster's chagrin and obvious discomfort and the private room seems best for all parties concerned. What I would have perhaps done was to say to myself, well miles, you don't like this to be done in the open at the table, but hospitality demands graciousness in allowing the baby to be fed.
How often in life have we not as hosts made an allowance to house guests' actions that aren't what we consider ideal, that strain our hospitality, but we allow anyway, if when it's all done, the house remains intact, no dishes are destroyed, the furniture is still there? And in the poster's scenario, a baby is well fed and a mom is happy to enjoy the dessert that you would have so graciously served had you not sent her packing into, who knows what, a dark, cold winter night or a humid, sticky summer evening, baby unfed, mother demoralised.
Did the other guests, who agreed with the poster's actions, enjoy their desserts, I wonder?
I agree that if one is uncomfortable with the situation that they can do something about it, but it's the question of timing. And, one should never, as a host, escalate to an argument such that people are sent away upset. To my mind it's a larger breach of etiquette to publicly call attention to another's perceived breach of etiquette, even in one's own home.
Plus, in this situation, it might be best to have one's wife address the issue with the lady, explaining that she would prefer it if the lady were to nurse in private, since it might make others uncomfortable, even saying that her husband is uncomfortable about it. Women can laugh over such moments and comply, perhaps even accompanying the guest and chatting with her as she nurses. Coming from another woman, it might not have escalated, and as a man, I know that it's not an argument I'd ever entertain since a man will always lose the argument, no matter what the other guests may say or one's stance on right/wrong.
So not only did you prohibit the baby from being fed, you also kicked the hapless female and her baby out? Did you consider at all that maybe, being a dinner guest, she assumed that your hospitality would extend to letting her feed her baby?
I don't endorse your behavior. Yeah, it's your house, your rights. But since you published your narrative here, I'd like to kindly say that I don't find your behavior to be commendable either as a host or as a man with a family.
Let me correct you on a few things. I never said it was dinner and my post clearly stated that 1. I asked her POLITELY to go elsewhere and 2. she got upset and started going off on a rant (didn't mention the rant part). She could and should have said "OK, sorry what room would you like me to use". It was offered but she went off on her feminist rant and at that point I told her to leave. If she would have agreed I would have gotten her a boppy, pillow or whatever else she needed. Her actions are what kept her baby from being fed not mine. As a man with a family my wife and I would know better then to assume things.
Let me correct you on a few things. I never said it was dinner and my post clearly stated that 1. I asked her POLITELY to go elsewhere and 2. she got upset and started going off on a rant (didn't mention the rant part). She could and should have said "OK, sorry what room would you like me to use". It was offered but she went off on her feminist rant and at that point I told her to leave. If she would have agreed I would have gotten her a boppy, pillow or whatever else she needed. Her actions are what kept her baby from being fed not mine.
True, that does change things if she started ranting at you. That was clearly very rude on her part to do so.
True, that does change things if she started ranting at you. That was clearly very rude on her part to do so.
Sorry too, sir, I must have read the post real fast and missed the part where she became rude. My apologies. Now we have to construct other positions on what is becoming - not the poster's fault - a rapidly changing and fluid situation.
Last edited by Moderate Guy; 11-25-2008 at 01:47 PM..
Reason: typo
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I told her to go do that somewhere else (politely), she said why. I told her because it's my house and I want her too, she could have asked me first and I would have let her use one of our rooms. Needles to say she got upset so I ended up kicking her out. Everyone at the party both men and women agreed she was disrespectful to me being the homeowner and the others at the party.
