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Perhaps it is better than Orlando, again, I've never lived down there so I can't compare....my point is that Raleigh is overrated, not bad, and many people moving here are doing so under false pretenses that this is some great place where life is very easy and there aren't many problems....that's just not the truth.
I visited Raleigh for the same reason(s), but once you start to get the feel of the area, its kinda of hard to meet people even at church. I also noticed the way you are treated at Wendy's and BK, the service is like they don't want to serve you. In the North when you approach the counter, they greet you with "can I help you?", in Raleigh you won't be greeted and its a feeling like they want you to go away. They won't hand you the change and say thank you, they'll put it on the counter and not say anything. It was a bad feeling, I've never experienced that before!! Things are different, I can't understand it. It's not all good or bad, but there is an undercurrent there that you will feel. just my thoughts
If you have the image of a "newcomer"...you are going to be treated at least somewhat "harshly" by most people in service...and DEFINITELY on the road (if you have out of state license plates, everything that goes wrong is automatically your fault). It holds true for native NC'ians and "old transplants". Anyone who has been here for more than 5 years has seen what the tremendous growth produced by newcomers does to this area and how it makes the quality of life and everything change. Eventhough they were the newcomers a few years ago, they want to "close the door behind them". I'm guilty of it too...and I'm not even planning on living here much longer!
Fled unemployment in Buffalo in late 1994 and have been living in central NC since. I've lived all around Wake and Franklin counties.
From the getgo and since I've discerned a couple of things.
1. Southern hospitality does exist and it's pleasant to be acquainted with folks.
2. A lot of it is fake. People are the same everywhere and there's just as many people here willing to stick a knife in your back when it's turned. I've never been fond of much of that heavily-laden southern sacharine, as it's so obviously fake.
3. The civil war may have ended 142 years ago everywhere else, but it's still like yesterday down here. Even the people who don't even know their war history take a very unkind view of everything Yankee. I met a middle school teacher once who had garnered some accolade, but on her desk was a plaque given to her by her co-workers friendly-knocking her for being a transplant. She was saddened about it -- she said "I've been living here for over 30 years, but they'll never let me forget 'I'm not from around here.'"
That anecdote, while certainly not universal, sums up the attitude of the North Carolinian to the northern transplant. They think they're funning you, but there's a heavy trace of meanness to it. They don't like folks moving here and telling them what to do, but they want to pretend they're all sugar and spice and everything nice.
That said, I enjoy the wather greatly. I miss the snow, but not the bone-chilling gusts off Lake Erie. What you'll miss the most if you're from Buffalo or The City is the loss of ethnicities; the resturants here are woeful in catching up. My wife's from Richmond Va. and even she laments the loss of decent places to eat.
I miss hockey -- unless the Hurricanes are playing you can't catch it. I miss the Bills and the Panthers seem too distant to seem like a home team. I miss the leaves in the fall, my friends, being able to catch a bus to all points, I miss the real Irish bars and the Canadian beer. And nobody does wings right. Nobody.
What has helped me not only survive here but grow to like it was to adopt a little of that southern defiance and libertarianism. Nobody's making them change, eh? Well, in response to a once-tossed 'Yankee go home', I responded, 'I own property here now. I didn't carpetbag it, I paid for it. Nobody is running me off my land and nobody is going to make me change my ways. I'm not Christian, I hate N.C. barbecue and I own a gun.'
I joke that when the Bible-belters win office and come to take away my 1st amendment rights, they'll have to get past my 2nd amendment rights.
The point is, if you adopt their ways, but remain faithful to your own path, and not be arrogant about changing them the way you wouldn't have them change you, you'll get the respect you deserve and will be able to live in harmony.
And there's the beach, of course. I can't even imagine anymore going on a trip to go swim in a lake.
Homeward Bound,
I agree with your sentiments. I am from CT and lived for three years in a gated community in Central Florida. Your community is your gated community. Due to the weather and over scheduling, people don't spend lots of time outside playing (kids, that is). Parades don't exist and if you have ten homes in your neighborhood, chances are the kids will go to ten different schools. I am not exaggerating. I missed feeling like part of a community, a real community. Not one made up of new money trying to out do each other. I wanted my kids to play kick the can, walk to school, town and even complain that they are bored and thus have to get creative. I wanted my kids to go to school where kids are not constantly leaving, or coming. My daughter's 2nd grade class in FL increased by 7 kids one year. And that was only one class. However, 3 kids left.
I wanted to bring my kids up in an atmosphere like I had growing up. Skaneateles comes pretty close.
Jo
I visited Raleigh for the same reason(s), but once you start to get the feel of the area, its kinda of hard to meet people even at church. I also noticed the way you are treated at Wendy's and BK, the service is like they don't want to serve you. In the North when you approach the counter, they greet you with "can I help you?", in Raleigh you won't be greeted and its a feeling like they want you to go away. They won't hand you the change and say thank you, they'll put it on the counter and not say anything. It was a bad feeling, I've never experienced that before!! Things are different, I can't understand it. It's not all good or bad, but there is an undercurrent there that you will feel. just my thoughts
Wow! Are you talking about the Raleigh in North Carolina? Because if you are I'm wondering what's so different between you and I.
I've been to Raleigh five times in twelve months. I have about as thick a New York accent as anyone, talk way too fast and act every bit the New Yorker that I am. And I was routinely amazed by how polite and helpful just about everyone was. Now granted I didn't eat at either Wendy's or Burger King which may explain the different experiences. But for those retail establishments I did frequent, the professional service folks I encountered, the people in the neighborhoods we visited while house hunting were all pretty darn nice.
I visited Raleigh for the same reason(s), but once you start to get the feel of the area, its kinda of hard to meet people even at church. I also noticed the way you are treated at Wendy's and BK, the service is like they don't want to serve you. In the North when you approach the counter, they greet you with "can I help you?", in Raleigh you won't be greeted and its a feeling like they want you to go away. They won't hand you the change and say thank you, they'll put it on the counter and not say anything. It was a bad feeling, I've never experienced that before!! Things are different, I can't understand it. It's not all good or bad, but there is an undercurrent there that you will feel. just my thoughts
My first visit to New York City was the same way. Nobody told me it was my turn, no "next please" or "how can I help you". Be careful with generalities and stereotypes as they're almost never true.
I'm moving to Staley NC with my parents at the end of June. I really don't want to go because meeting people seems like a *****. I'll be going to school in Winston-Salem so maybe there i can meet a few people other then that i wish i was staying in NY.
So its not Mayberry eh? Ive heard NC is the place to be for jobs affordable houses ..guess I better look elsewhere.
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Growth problems
A handshake and a knife
