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My last post responding to opelske appears to be signed by a "catie" catie did not post the response, it was me "averagenyjoe". It somehow got inserted into the mix improperly.
I left Rochester, NY and moved to North Raleigh, NC and have one month of living in the south under my belt. I couldn't be happier about the move with the single exception of missing my immediate and extended family. Otherwise I have no real complaints as of yet other than the same you'd have with any move - making new friends, finding your way around, figuring out where the good eats are.
For me specifically the move has been GREAT for my three small kids. Our old neighborhood was full of people we never met or saw. Nobody spent much time outdoors to meet them. Our new neighborhood has almost a dozen kids to play with and they're all outside running around constantly. It's like night and day. I've met more of my neighbors in 1 month in NC than I did living 8 years in NY in my old neighborhood.
It's a shame NY is so damn expensive. Add the insulting 6 months of dismal Rochester winter and I was more than happy to adventure to a different location in the US.
Will I remain this happy about my decision in 12 months or 12 years? Only time will tell.
ironic that you said 12 years because you and I just swaped places....and after 12 years in Raleigh, I'm currently up in Rochester looking for houses. I guess it's just diffrent for different folks...I knew ALL of my neighbors in the neighborhood that I grew up in in Greece and in the one that I first moved to when I got married and stayed untill we moved to NC...but have never known more than 2 or 3 families in any of the neighborhoods I've lived in in Wake County (I've lived all over, North Raleigh, Cary, Southwest Raleigh...and currently Apex). It's such a transient community, people come and go so often that it's hard to get a real neighborhood connection.
I lived in Rochester for most of my life, then Ithaca, and from there, New Orleans. Talk about culture shock... New Orleans made downtown Rochester look like Disneyland! After Katrina, I moved to Tuscaloosa, AL to finish my Doctorate at the University.
Things I Miss: CountrySweet chicken and ribs, White Hots (Southerners have NO IDEA what I am talking about), people who don't laugh at me when I say I want to cold "soda pop" (down here, every soft drink is a "Coke"), Real Buffalo Wings, Decent bagels (I am still searching), and some of the polite distance that is kept when first meeting someone (especially in New Orleans, everyone was your buddy in a hurry, calling you 'baby" right off the bat), and the racial balance (while it is not perfect in the north, or NYS, it is better than here, both in treatment of persons of color and in attitude, believe me), and the anticipation of preparing for a big snowstorm of blizzard (Superstorm of 1993, Anyone)?
Things I don't miss: endless days of gray skies in the winter, slush and wet feet, The spring "mud" season, ridiculously high prices, annual car safety inspection (nope, none here in Alabama), and having to wait to plant anything in your garden until after Memorial Day.
Overall: I have lots of friends here in the south, but not close ones like the North. However, I do not want to hear anyone from NYS complain that it is "too hot" if it gets over 85 degrees. Everyday here has been over 100 in my backyard for the last week. LOL
I do enjoy visiting Rochester once every few years.
I moved from the Hudson Valley area to Austin, Texas a year ago. I for sure miss things about NY - PIZZA! good italian food in general, the upfront, outspoken, swear-using attitude (texans seem a bit put off by the f word used in daily convo) of NYers, and of course the Yanks. But my new home has some wonderful things that I didn't find back home. If I could transplant the NY attitude along with the pizza down here, I'd be happy y'all!
You think Charlotte is a sprawling flavorless metro? Head about 2 hours east to "the triangle" and see if you can even find the "city" of Raleigh in all the endless cookie-cutter sprawl.
I'd be happy to show you around downtown Raleigh when you get back in town! I am surpised that someone so appauled by surburban sprawl would choose a bedroom community such as Apex as a place to settle down. There are much more historic and urban living options closer to the core of downtown Raleigh. Of course if $$ is the issue then other options should be considered. I know plenty of former NYers who are very happy here. Some have been here even longer than 12 years and are still loving life. I guess not all NYers feel the same about moving south. To each his own I say. Best of luck with your move back to NY!
New York is in my past and it will remain a memory
I grew up in Cheektowaga, NY near the Thruway Mall and left in the 70's. I first went to Texas and then to Denver; I been in Colorado for 28 years. No I will never go back. Buffalo was decaying when I left and it is worse now. I can remember going on the Sycamore Bus to Downtown Buffalo and being harassed and going through the decaying ring around the city. Cheektowaga was a unfriendly suburbs with very little diversity and understanding of others but the inevitable death and changes have come. However, unfortunately many creative people have left the area and it will continue to decay. So after the Army and College I left.
My Parents, brothers and sisters have all relocated to Colorado and it is a wonderful place to live. Colorado has many people from the Midwest and the Great Plains and these are good real people. Denver has a thriving diverse population with hispanics, blacks, and many new immigrants from Asia and all is well, without the racial and ethnic hatreds that was and is, in the Buffalo area. But the worse memory of New York is the failure of Metro New York to understand that the rest of the state matters economically and culturally.
New York has many nice attractions and people but it is not the center of the world as many arrogant people from "The City" think. Sure I miss certain things. However I have realized that fond memories are what they were and will not prevent me from living the future.
Been down south here for 10 months, the only thing I miss about NY is good PIZZA and Speedie sauce. Sure NY has a vibrancy all its own and I do miss the natural sarcasm of fellow N yorkers.
But would I ever move back? Not on your life, I can do without taxes that are killers, overpriced housing costs and unaffordable utilities, groceries and gas.
I guess I can do without good pizza and have all the other great things about the south and still be happy.
Pam
ironic that you said 12 years because you and I just swaped places....and after 12 years in Raleigh, I'm currently up in Rochester looking for houses. I guess it's just diffrent for different folks...I knew ALL of my neighbors in the neighborhood that I grew up in in Greece and in the one that I first moved to when I got married and stayed untill we moved to NC...but have never known more than 2 or 3 families in any of the neighborhoods I've lived in in Wake County (I've lived all over, North Raleigh, Cary, Southwest Raleigh...and currently Apex). It's such a transient community, people come and go so often that it's hard to get a real neighborhood connection.
I was wondering if you were ever going to make it back up there.
We have the same problem in Raleigh, too many transients and so few friends. I found the concept of the friendly South to be the biggest misnomer as well. We have gone out of our way to be friendly to people in our neighborhood and at my work and in many cases have received no responses whatsoever. I don't know if it is a cultural difference or people being people. Hard to explain.
Our goal was to make it back up North this year but that is not going to happen. My in laws down here are having health issues so we are staying a little longer as much as it kills me. We are also watching the cost of everything rise down here dramatically. Yes RE taxes are lower but personal income tax is higher, cost of goods is higher, monthly water bills, sales tax is higher etc etc. I guess they will get you any way they can.
We just came from visiting NC and loved it there. .....People who don't speak English and refuse to learn the language and actually believe we should learn their language. ......( we looked in Union County)and there is plenty to do if you do your research. ......I Can't wait to move and I will never look back. Brooklyn has been lost for a long time now and thats just the sad reality
I lived in Union County for 4 yrs of my 23 in NC. I can, with all confidence, say that YOU have not done your research. First off. Monroe is the County seat. The city is now almost 2/3 Hispanic. That is a fact. Many are undocumented so "stats" may not show this. Take a ride around Monroe, go to Wal-Mart on Roosevelt Blv. There may be 3 or 4 that speak your language.
The first thing you want to do is draw a line from Indian Trail on over to Waxhaw on the other side of the county. If you move anywhere north of that line toward Charlotte, you are pretty much safe for the first 3 years. If you desire to move south or east of that line, you are cooked. Its over for you. The very next thing you want to do anywhere in the county is to establish a church home and get involved RIGHY AWAY. If you fail to do this, don’t worry, you will be reminded by your neighbors and co-workers. If the church thing is not your cup of tea. You are cooked. Its over. You think I'm joking? Yes, there are plenty of people that don’t do this, but I guarantee you will need some sort of support group to help you cope. You will note that there are not many people that stay in their houses over maybe 3 years or so. They move again or either the house falls apart. Cheap construction. looks very nice but behind the walls where you dont see is where all the corners are cut. Trust me on this one. This county is one of the fastest growing counties in NC and in America. It is transient to the max. Then keep in mind that once you have to drive the roads every day, you will spend much of your time stopped in traffic. You probably know that by now but this gets old FAST. Your kids can only play just so much soccer. They have to deal with the other kids and you will have to deal with your neighbors. You will not be an island doing what you think is best for your life. You will be made to be accountable to the community and the community STANDARDS. The next thing that would help you very much is to unpack Your picture of Jesse Helms and get it on the wall in a highly visible place right away. He was born & raised in Union County. If you live South of the I.T. line, you will also need to have a picture of Robert E Lee. Rebel flag doesn’t need to be visible but does need to be hung somewhere in the home. If you don’t have Jesse's picture, you need to study up on all that he spoke and stood for and cling to it like a warm & fuzzy blanket. I'm telling you, you think I'm joking. Start looking for that support group if this isn’t you. If you are planning on being a "good community" person or church person, you need to leave your mind at home or put it in the trash can. You wont need it down there. A mind is for thinking and thinking leads to inquiry and we all know what inquiry leads to... The possibility that "change" could even be a mere suggestion. Don’t even ask questions, especially in church. Any church. If you get to the point of asking any questions about why certain things are done, even if it is in pure humility, you are a "marked" person from that point on. You think I'm kidding? This is not some hate filled rant, this is information that many died in the wool born & bred NC people have said too who lived in other counties that have moved into Union. Union is said to be one of the most unusual counties in all of the state. Understand that there are roughly 6 families who stepped off the Mayflower and made a bee-line to what is now Union county and unless you are related in some way or can trace you roots back you will never REALLY fit in. I, for one, had some roots established in NC from childhood and when I moved to Union County, the very first thing that not one, but many asked was "who is your Daddy?" This however, is more prominent south of that line. Which is where I lived. I could not produce a familiar name so it was pretty much over for me. Died in the wool church man that I was. And still am by the way. Supportive and involved community family and very gentle in our ways. Didn’t matter to them.
Look, there is diversity, especially in the Northern side of the county and you may think that will get you through. It may but there is this very very potent sub-culture that rules the area that cannot be broken and many just wish they knew that before moving. Tradition and culture is extremely strong and is very evident in every day community life. No amount of homework will see this except having lived there. I really respect them but it is their culture and they will quickly let you know that.
The best I can describe it is that funny story about the Southerner who experienced his first winter in Upstate NY. The first few snow storms were so lovely. Describing the snow in such romantic terms and conjuring up all these lovely plans to just envelope themselves in this beautiful season but about midway through he is cussing up a blue streak and ended up burning his house down to stay warm, busting the snow shovel over the head of the snow plow man and moving off to Florida. In the same way, you will find Union County very warm and fuzzy and think you found Nirvana. Well, just go ahead and jump in, buckle up, shut up and hang on because it will be a very unusual ride. For sure. Again, I am not bitter. I just want you to be warned and informed. "this, neighbor, is just REALITY!"
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Yes and No
New York is in my past and it will remain a memory
