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Being punctual is very important. Barring things out of my control I am always on time. It's about respect. I've known people that were never on time for anything. One of those people I have lost contact with because it.
There are two causes for persistent lateness. First reason: passive aggressive behavior. "Oh, I'm so so sorry you all had to wait for me again, I got stuck in traffic and my hair dryer, blah, blah." Just say "scr@w you" to your friends so they know where you stand.
Second cause: Narcissism. "Oh, everyone in the room, I'm here. turn your attention to me. Ask me what happened to make me late again. Bring me up to date on what was discussed before I arrived." Your friends are fed up with this. If they don't dog you, then you must be paying them.
There are two causes for persistent lateness. First reason: passive aggressive behavior. "Oh, I'm so so sorry you all had to wait for me again, I got stuck in traffic and my hair dryer, blah, blah." Just say "scr@w you" to your friends so they know where you stand.
Second cause: Narcissism. "Oh, everyone in the room, I'm here. turn your attention to me. Ask me what happened to make me late again. Bring me up to date on what was discussed before I arrived." Your friends are fed up with this. If they don't dog you, then you must be paying them.
Its hard to argue that a person with who is drugged or drunk might be late.
But I disagree with his supposition about depression. Truly depressed people I know don't arrive at all and everyone knows why. As for ADD, this is Ablow, right? He says everything is ADD.
And, since he missed the number one cause, passive aggressive behavior, I have to say his article falls short. But thanks for posting it.
Okay well, does anyone else STRUGGLE with having to be on time for things?
Who doesn't occasionally? Hey, I can be a total space cadet from time to time, especially when I'm running on all cylinders. That's why there are things such as alarm clocks and automatic reminders on calendars.
Everyone is late from now and then. Unexpected things happen. I don't think anyone in this thread has said they don't accept anyone being late EVER. We're just talking about people who are late all the time. There's a big difference between being late every now and then and being late every time.
I don't mind waiting most of the time. I also don't mind being late. That is because the people I'd actually hang out with are valuable enough for me not to care about punctuality. Reality is that people have work, kids, traffic, and other situations that hold them up and to see them at all would be like seeing one of the wonders of the world. So I'm happy with what I get. I don't run around making 1 hr lunch appts with different people on multiple days of the week. I do one evening with all my friends once every few months and we can all just chill, show up slowly... wander off slowly...
If I were meeting up with somebody I don't like or care about for business, then they better not be late.
With the exception of getting to work (when I'm rarely one minute early), I tend to show up quite early for most things. If it's a show, I like being able to pick my seat. To the airport, I don't want the stress of rushing. For gatherings or meetings, I don't want eyes fixing on me.
I could never live in one of those cultures where people have no sense of time or responsibility. Saying you'll meet somewhere at a certain time and show up two hours later is bull-dookey. and not acceptable.
I have a niece who is habitually late for everything. For holiday dinners her family will say that dinner is an hour earlier than it is, just so she'll be there. That wouldn't work in my house. After 30 minutes we'd start without her. And people like her is why we (husband and I) do not like people to bring their own dishes.
Being chronically late, or a no-show, is rude and inexcusable.
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