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How do you make new friends? I've either out grown my friendships or friends have moved on and I find myself with no real friends, in the area, outside of my family for the first time in my life (I do have strong family support). I miss being able to call up a friend just to chat or going out for drinks. Most of my friends were college friends or women who were in a church group I belonged to years ago (who have all moved on to different churches even different states. I do still email a couple of them).
So how does a 51 year old woman make new friends? I really miss my old women's group. We were close until a change in pastors at the church resulted in most of us leaving the church. Over time, we've just drifted apart now that we don't see each other every week. One mistake I made was relying on that group too much to fill my need for friends. Other friendships went by the wayside during those years. My best friend, for many years, no longer returns my calls. I don't know why but ever since she moved back in with her mom, she won't call back if I call her so I've taken the hint and quit calling.
There really should be a dating like site for people like me who just want to find a new circle of friends to hang out with. So how would you go about making new friends?
I can sympathize with you. It's hard to make new friends as we get older. A 54 year old girlfriend of mine went on www.meetup.com and found women's groups in her area. The thing is, you are not alone on this. Many women feel the same way and are looking for friendships.
Last edited by max's mama; 02-19-2011 at 01:14 PM..
How do you make new friends? I've either out grown my friendships or friends have moved on and I find myself with no real friends, in the area, outside of my family for the first time in my life (I do have strong family support). I miss being able to call up a friend just to chat or going out for drinks. Most of my friends were college friends or women who were in a church group I belonged to years ago (who have all moved on to different churches even different states. I do still email a couple of them).
So how does a 51 year old woman make new friends? I really miss my old wmen's group. We were close until a change in pastors at the church resulted in most of us leaving the church. Over time, we've just drifted apart now that we don't see each other every week. My best friend, for many years, no longer returns my calls. I don't know why but ever since she moved back in with her mom, she won't call back if I call her so I've taken the hint and quit calling.
There really should be a dating like site for people like me who just want to find a new circle of friends to hang out with. So how would you go about making new friends?
It could be that your bf is embarrassed that at her age she's living with her mom but that's her issue and it's too bad she allowed a friendship to go because of that.
Believe it or not, I don't have time for many friends right now. I'm super busy. But I do have some friends from my interests. Do you have any hobbies, crafts, gardening,etc? I surround myself with people like myself that are creative and can relate to each other on how to make or how to do whatever.
Join book clubs,garden clubs,sign up for jewelry classes,martial arts, yoga,etc. You'll meet people with similar interest.
I will be your friend. There now that that is done, lets go toss eggs at the homes of all those people that stopped being your friend. LOL
To answer your question, I don't know. I make friends all the time. My wife thinks I have too many friends. My facebook page is loaded with them and a coworker calls me a Friends hoarder. My thought is you can't have too many friends. My other thought is that I make it a point to become friends with people that are hard to befriend. For me it is a challenge to get them to become my friend. Some people are just closed to getting to know others, or in my wifes case so private that she doesn't want anyone to know what she is doing or who she is related to.
Yeah, it's definately harder to make friends when you reach adulthood and start having to do all those danmned grown-up things, like work, support a family, pay bills, etc. I always think back to that great closing line that Richard Dreyfuss typed in his computer, at the end of the movie "Stand By Me":
"I don't have any friends now like the ones I had when I was 12.
Jesus, does anyone?"
Anyway--I meet most of my friends thorugh my two jobs: tecahing and playing drums & percussion, and also as a personal trainer. I'm blesssed in that both of my jobs involve working with people. Plus, my new bride has turned me on--forced me into? lol--a whole new world of fine artsy stuff, like classical music and opera, so that has introduced me to a buncha new people. (Some of whom I like, but also some of whom I could do without!)
Great post, btw!
There really should be a dating like site for people like me who just want to find a new circle of friends to hang out with. So how would you go about making new friends?
do you have hobbies or other interests? try meetup (google it) and search your area for your interest. lots of different groups covering just about any hobby or activity....
I was wondering the same thing until a couple of months ago and I started contra dancing every week and I'm making several new friends through that and they're people I have quite a lot in common with. I've made a few thru church but feel closer to the folks in my old one--they all live in different parts of the state now but at least I can go see them on weekends. Still, I know just what you're going thru as I found myself at a loss after my ex left and we were still new in town. Things are looking up, so go find a group you're interested in and if that one doesn't work, try another. Some groups just feel more open than others.
I used to go for long walks and would always stop at this little coffee joint for a coffee...You'd be amazed at the number of people who would start up a conversation with you...I have a lot of friends now, but had i wanted more it would have been easy,....there's lots of friendly people out there .
I am in my 40's and have found new friends mainly through my children. I have a dear friend who I met when our daughter's went to preschool together. Another friend was through a mom's group. I have a few others through cubscouts and now boyscouts. If it weren't for my kids, I would join meetup.com. There are tons and tons of groups out there for many different lifestyles. I wish you luck!!
I am 52 and have make many new good friends through work. Most of them are in their 20's. They have a lot of energy and their lives aren't filled with the activities that come with having a spouse and children. I feel that I am basically an older sister to most of them.
Also this spring, I'm planning on signing up for a dance class through a local adult ed group.
I recommend keeping an open mind about potential friends. Don't let their age be a factor.
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