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I smoked for four lustrum. The day will come, when you will regret ever starting to smoke. My beloved Barb smoked. She passed on from lung & brain cancer at 46.
I feel you would make some friends in a flyfishing (or spinning, baitcasting) club, or bowling league. I made friends in Tech college in Mill & Cabinet, & Carpentry classes.
For me, it just takes some time and effort. I found it much more difficult to make friends after college/grad school. I think joining clubs is a great idea. I did and it allowed me to make a lot of acquaintances. Most of them ended up just being acquaintances, but after a few months a couple became my friends. Just say yes to hanging out, even when it's something you're not interested in (i know it sounds sucky, but sometimes it works out. It's how I came to discover that I really like the opera!). If no one asks you to do something outside of the club activities, ask them and it will open the door. Best wishes!
i can do the early start of a friendship, but most fizzle, because i am just not motivate to get to know someone but once i am friends with someone for a few months, it's easier to maintain. the early friendships just burn me out. i find people invade my space it's hard to find the right amount of distance and still have a friendship. some friends i don't see or speak to for a few months but if you do that with new friends they forget about you
one recent example is this guy who talks way to much i fear answering the phone, because he makes a 5 min convo go on for 20 min. he stopped by for something that should have take 30 min and he talked so much it took 2 hours. he wanted to meet with me this week to get my opinion on something he was working on. i just had to blow it off because it's going to take too long it's like he says something 10 times in 10 different ways a i'm thinking, shut up!
Talk to people. Let the friendship grow naturally. There are some people we meet randomly that we want to send an email to every now and then OR there are those we want to talk to all the time. My advice - don't force it but reach out to other people and see what you get back.
I am learning/ Have learned there are layers to friendship. Not everyone is your best friend and not everyone needs to know everything about you. Trust is something that earned over time.
It's harder to make friends as adults as people have marriages/kids/agenda's and a host of other things we might not be aware of when we extend the olive branch of friendship....that's why I say know who deserves what.
You are lucky if you have a few good friends in this lifetime.
Hope this helps. Most importantly .....be yourself
well despite this thread being revived by a spambot it's nice to see it again
We got like 29 people to sign up for the mailing list for the club I'm an executive member of. Hopefully at least a few will show up to meetings and maybe some will become friends, although I fear we'll have too much of a "business" relationship despite being a pretty laid-back informal organization.
I've also decided to rush a professional fraternity, we'll see how that goes.
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