Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you visit friends' home for the first time, would you expect them to give you a tour of the entire house?
Some old friends were in town and we invited them over for dinner. We have an open floor plan, so they saw the entry hall, dining room, kitchen, powder room, and family room (no living room). The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room. (The bedrooms/baths were in less than pristine condition.). We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
I don't expect anything like a tour from friends. I do LOVE when I get a tour, since I love to look at houses, but I think it's the person's prerogative whether to give me a total tour or not.
When I moved into a new house, I had several people over. I had plans to give a tour of the whole house, and let people know that. I just wanted my kids to pick up a few things in the lower level first (you entered on the 2nd level), so I said after we had dessert, I'd give a tour of the lower level. Well, apparently a few friends decided they just couldn't wait, and they went downstairs shortly after I showed the upstairs. I was pretty ticked off. I found that incredibly rude. I wouldn't wander through someone else's house without be invited! AND I had already said I'd show them that section. Not only did they see it before it was ready (Imo), they robbed me of the chance to see their reaction to the place. That is half the fun of showing your new place!
Sometimes they want to see a completed project that was discussed, or a new paint color, or see how I solved some issue they are dealing with, or whatever.
I DO think this is a regional thing, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2
The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room.
I wouldn't think you need an invitation to walk down a hall, and I would not give someone looking into my laundry room a second thought.
That's a Dear Abby letter waiting to happen. How rude. I wouldn't tour someone else's house uninvited and wouldn't expect if if they didn't offer.
I have a destructive dog and keep all the bedroom doors to my house closed. If they're closed when you get here, then please keep them closed. The door to the guest bath is open. If you're opening and closing doors then you're snooping.
Anyone in someone's house for the first time, or anytime, should behave like a guest, not like an inspector general. For that matter, friends shouldn't invite themselves in, which also happens sometimes. If you haven't been invited in, there's a reason, usually. (Hostess is behind in cleaning, there's a paint job going on, or whatever).
OP, the next time your old friends are over for any reason, put a child gate across the entry to that hallway. I bet Mr. Old Friend won't have the guts to step over it to satisfy his curiousity. If the clod asks if you have a pet or a grandchild visiting, or something, smile and say, "No, we're just tired of guests wandering off and poking around the private section of the house."
Jeez. It's a little alarming how many clueless people there are, these days.
I wouldn't think you need an invitation to walk down a hall, and I would not give someone looking into my laundry room a second thought.
Really? It's ok for guests, who are being entertained in the main living area of the house (including dining room), to just wander off on their own into their hosts' personal space? Just abandon the group and go poking around? That's very presumptuous and bad manners. No one does that, except small children who don't know any better.
It's out of consideration for the hosts. A guest can't assume that the entire house is pristine and ready for viewing. You could cause embarrassment to the hosts. The whole purpose of manners is to avoid that, and to help everyone feel comfortable.
If one can't contain one's curiosity, or is an architectural design aficionado, or some such, one should ask. One doesn't barge. One hints politely: "This is a beautiful place! We'd love to see the rest of it sometime." This gives the hosts a chance to say, "We're not ready to give a guided tour just yet, but we'll have you over again when the back rooms are ready."
If you visit friends' home for the first time, would you expect them to give you a tour of the entire house?
Some old friends were in town and we invited them over for dinner. We have an open floor plan, so they saw the entry hall, dining room, kitchen, powder room, and family room (no living room). The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room. (The bedrooms/baths were in less than pristine condition.). We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
No, I wouldn't expect a tour of their house. If they chose to give me one, that would be fine, otherwise I'd stick to the general common areas. IMO, wandering around someone's house and snooping in closed rooms is just rude.
Really? It's ok for guests, who are being entertained in the main living area of the house (including dining room), to just wander off on their own into their hosts' personal space?
My hall to my laundry room is not personal space, IMHO.
We entertain... a lot.
We have no problems with friends wanting to see things.
No one has ever gone upstairs (our personal spaces are on the second floor) without us and prior conversation. So it is not like they run amok....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It's out of consideration for the hosts. A guest can't assume that the entire house is pristine and ready for viewing. You could cause embarrassment to the hosts. The whole purpose of manners is to avoid that, and to help everyone feel comfortable.
My guests know the hosts....me and my husband! They are here to spend time with us, not to judge the cleanliness of our home. Heaven knows they have been here dozens of times, and have seen it it various states of disarray!
And we are never embarrassed when friends are in our house.
People make their entire house pristine and ready for viewing? I sure don't. But it is ready for friends any time; being minimalist helps! You ring my doorbell now, and I will invite you in for tea.
And if you want to see the curtains I made for the guest bedroom, or the chair I just re-did for my husband's office, I will gladly show them to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2
We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
They had zero reason to be upset, yet alone mad!
Last edited by Pitt Chick; 01-16-2017 at 08:11 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
