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you do what makes you most comfortable, and to the man who walked into rooms that he wasn't invited to walk into, I'd have said something.
When I first moved into my new home, I had a neighbor knock on the door, and ask to come in and see it. Like a dummy I allowed her to...and she was the last.
she looked at me and said, wow, whose your decorater? I said me...and she said, "Well, you certainly like high end stuff", as she picked up the place mats off my dining room table and turned them over to look at the label.
Then another neighbor asked if people from her church could come and walk thru my house. I said, No, she said, why and I said, because I don't want strangers tramping thru my home, that's why.
Who are these people?! Is that normal behavior for that town or region?? Are you from there, or did you move to a new state with odd customs? WOW, talk about presumptuous! Is every new arrival's home automatically a Disneyland attraction? Does the church organize a tour bus to take parishioners to snoop through strangers' homes? WTH???!!!!
I wonder what she would have said if you'd asked where she lived, and said you'd be over to later in the day to tour her house.
Who are these people?! Is that normal behavior for that town or region?? Are you from there, or did you move to a new state with odd customs? WOW, talk about presumptuous! Is every new arrival's home automatically a Disneyland attraction? Does the church organize a tour bus to take parishioners to snoop through strangers' homes? WTH???!!!!
I wonder what she would have said if you'd asked where she lived, and said you'd be over to later in the day to tour her house.
as far as normal behavior, it was a small town farm area many years ago, and these people were my mother's generation, which in their time, everyone knew everyone else's business....which I hated always, and the more someone asked, the further away they pushed me....
LOL, yeah, think I'll call her tonight and ask her if I can bring my family thru her home?
seriously, the PA Dutch people were a very nosy people....and perhaps that is why to this day while I love people, I'm introverted, don't need people in my life to be happy and I chose my friends, they don't chose me. Sorry if that sounds nasty, but, I've had my share to last 3 lifetimes when it comes to people. LOL
People actually asked me how much I paid for my home, and my reply was, "none of your business". And I'd turn and walk away.
and believe me, if you don't know this by now, not at all afraid to say what I think....if they befriend me, too bad.
as far as normal behavior, it was a small town farm area many years ago, and these people were my mother's generation, which in their time, everyone knew everyone else's business....which I hated always, and the more someone asked, the further away they pushed me....
LOL, yeah, think I'll call her tonight and ask her if I can bring my family thru her home?
seriously, the PA Dutch people were a very nosy people....and perhaps that is why to this day while I love people, I'm introverted, don't need people in my life to be happy and I chose my friends, they don't chose me. Sorry if that sounds nasty, but, I've had my share to last 3 lifetimes when it comes to people. LOL
People actually asked me how much I paid for my home, and my reply was, "none of your business". And I'd turn and walk away.
and believe me, if you don't know this by now, not at all afraid to say what I think....if they befriend me, too bad.
These were Amish? Was your mom from there? Maybe it's their custom. After all, they help each other do barn-raisings. Mi barn es su barn*. It's a different world.
At least you're good at drawing boundaries! But all too often, it takes getting fed up after too many negative experiences, before someone like yourself (and me) is able to put their foot down.
I have a guest house that an acquaintance got really weird about. It's just a studio apartment connected to our shop. Quite a few of the depression era built houses have a set up like this. It was a way to get rental income in a harder time and there isn't anything fancy or rich about it. For whatever reason this person thought I was a billionaire or something and finally invited herself over to see my house and in her words had to know about this guest house thing and my fancy house. Came here and was kind of disappointed and I could tell she felt weird, her assumptions about me and my house being way off the mark and invited herself to inspect things.
Anyone in someone's house for the first time, or anytime, should behave like a guest, not like an inspector general. For that matter, friends shouldn't invite themselves in, which also happens sometimes. If you haven't been invited in, there's a reason, usually. (Hostess is behind in cleaning, there's a paint job going on, or whatever).
OP, the next time your old friends are over for any reason, put a child gate across the entry to that hallway. I bet Mr. Old Friend won't have the guts to step over it to satisfy his curiousity. If the clod asks if you have a pet or a grandchild visiting, or something, smile and say, "No, we're just tired of guests wandering off and poking around the private section of the house."
Jeez. It's a little alarming how many clueless people there are, these days.
And what's the deal with guests pawing (and sometimes breaking) your possessions without permission? Were they raised by wolves? When I was a kid, if I had ever touched anything at a neighbor's house without first being invited to do so, I'd have been sent straight to Azkaban.
These were Amish? Was your mom from there? Maybe it's their custom. After all, they help each other do barn-raisings. Mi barn es su barn*. It's a different world.
At least you're good at drawing boundaries! But all too often, it takes getting fed up after too many negative experiences, before someone like yourself (and me) is able to put their foot down.
*paraphrasing: Mi casa es su casa.
no, they were not amish, they were what a combination of Pennsylvania Dutch....and Quakers....
oh, yes, they had their irritating habits, but for the most part, they were a good very hard working people, like the Amish.
I didn't used to be good at drawing boundaries, always so worried about hurting the feelings of others, then finally came to terms with, if they have the nerve to ask, I have the nerve to answer....in whatever way I so chose.
and believe me, I'm not a mean or nasty person, but push my buttons and your on...lol
I think it's rude for someone to take themselves on a tour uninvited. But I do love showing off my house, so all areas are ready for public viewing when I have guests - and I'm kind of disappointed if they don't take me up on my invitation to show them the rest of the house. Unless there is something new, I don't expect people to take additional tours if they've already seen the place, though.
Who are these people?! Is that normal behavior for that town or region?? Are you from there, or did you move to a new state with odd customs? WOW, talk about presumptuous! Is every new arrival's home automatically a Disneyland attraction? Does the church organize a tour bus to take parishioners to snoop through strangers' homes? WTH???!!!!
I wonder what she would have said if you'd asked where she lived, and said you'd be over to later in the day to tour her house.
I don't get this either. What is there to see?
Recently I was invited over on a Sunday afternoon to the friend of a friend's home who lives in an wealthy suburb of LA.
The home was huge and had a nice view, I did say to the homeowner "you have a beautiful home" and they said thank you. I never thought to ask or really cared to see the rest of the house, nor did they offer.
We were there for dinner. I saw the living room, the kitchen, the dining room and one bathroom.
Recently I was invited over on a Sunday afternoon to the friend of a friend's home who lives in an wealthy suburb of LA.
The home was huge and had a nice view, I did say to the homeowner "you have a beautiful home" and they said thank you. I never thought to ask or really cared to see the rest of the house, nor did they offer.
We were there for dinner. I saw the living room, the kitchen, the dining room and one bathroom.
I recently went out of state for the holidays. My great friend offered to take care of my doggies, retrieve the mail, etc. What a godsend. I've done it for him (not keeping score), and trust my buddy with my house keys.
I was very busy leading up to the holidaze, and I typically do a deep clean before leaving for any adventures.....as it's nice to come home and not have a ton of stuff to do right when I get back.
Limited for time, I had thrown a bunch of crap in the spare bedroom, my office looked like something out of a hurricane tragedy, and my master bath was atrocious.
My friend had relatives from overseas stay at Christmastime, and much to my horror......I learned that his delightful, beautiful and single cousin had been given a tour of my less than pristine home. Keep in mind that my house is relatively old and unique, and on occasion I do get requests...even from the previous owner just to see what I've done.
But I'm ready for those!
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But all too often, it takes getting fed up after too many negative experiences, before someone like yourself (and me) is able to put their foot down.
