Do You Think Friends Should Get a Tour of your Entire House? (judgmental, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Years ago, I had a neighbor from another part of the world who I invited in for a chat. Upon entering the kitchen, she began rummaging through the drawers and commenting on the contents. It was the strangest thing. Some people have told me that it is common for those from that part of the world, but I've had other friends and acquaintances from the same place, and none of them rummaged through the house as though on a treasure hunt. It truly offended me. I would never, ever do such a thing.
If you visit friends' home for the first time, would you expect them to give you a tour of the entire house?
Some old friends were in town and we invited them over for dinner. We have an open floor plan, so they saw the entry hall, dining room, kitchen, powder room, and family room (no living room). The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room. (The bedrooms/baths were in less than pristine condition.). We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
Weird friendship.
I always give people who come over to my place a quick (I usually live in a one bedroom or studio, apartment) tour and tell them to feel at home. Then they at least know where the bathroom is if they need it.
Some people we knew slightly -- they were the son and daughter-in-law of an elderly neighbor -- inherited the neighbor's house and had it knocked down. Then they brought in a contractor to build their dream house.
Invitations for the open house went out to all the neighborhood. We went over an hour after the open house began and it was weird. It was like they didn't expect us. Basically we stood around their family room for a quarter of an hour and made awkward conversation with the people who had come from their former neighborhood. I wanted to see the rest of their new house but no one offered and I didn't think it polite to ask.
When we bought our (then new) house and hosted the neighbors, I took various people all over. The house had been five years in construction and few neighbors had seen the finished product. I didn't think it was strange at all that people wanted to see.
Location: When you take flak it means you are on target
7,646 posts, read 9,951,921 times
Reputation: 16466
Here's how we handle it. I like my privacy. .We have a walled, gated property on top of a cliff. The riff raff is stopped at the gate. If they are brave enough to make it that far. Come over the wall without invitation, your remains will be found at the bottom of the cliff.
If you make it past the gate we have a nice outer patio. This is for sales people, someone picking something up, politicians and others we don't really know or want to know. And no you can't use the bathroom.
If you are a good enough friend to be granted an audience inside the castle we have the formal living room, which is off the entry. If it's more intimate we have a den, which I call the "chart room." A close friend and family members with no prison record, are allowed into the kitchen, family room, dining, guest bath, etc. Maybe the garage and back yard.
Places off limits to nearly everyone but my spouse and I. My private office, the master bedroom, the treasure vault. Oh all right, we don't really have a treasure vault. There is a laundry room, somewhere. Ask the maid. I've only been in it once, to look at the machines that cost ten times what I paid for my first car! (Which was $100. LOL)
There is no guest room. I don't want to trip over guests in the morning. Guests can stay at a hotel.
We don't really entertain more than maybe 6 or 8 at once. And certainly I would never let the neighbors past the patio. The only ones we know are the adjoining property and we only see them every few months.
I had a friend give me a tour of her house a few years ago. It was in a snitzy neighborhood (Southlake, TX) and it was an ok house, nothing extraordinary. She was clearly proud of it as she was always trying to keep up with the upper crust types. She and her husband had the house custom built, lots of nice touches, nice kitchen, etc.
I went along, exclaimed how nice it was, etc.
Her husband was a stay-at-home, ill-health, so the bedroom he used was a mess, the bathroom wasn't clean, etc.
If you visit friends' home for the first time, would you expect them to give you a tour of the entire house?
Some old friends were in town and we invited them over for dinner. We have an open floor plan, so they saw the entry hall, dining room, kitchen, powder room, and family room (no living room). The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room. (The bedrooms/baths were in less than pristine condition.). We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
No. Not unless there is something particularly special about it. I may have been talking to work buddies about something I DIYed in the bathroom--I might show it to them. I have a video photographer friend who bought a Victorian and set it up as an at-home studio...she gave us a tour. But it would be that kind of situation that I'd even be interested in walking through someone else's home.
I had a friend who came in for the first time and just walked around, very determined, and looked in every room. I thought it was incredibly rude. I've made a point to never ask him back.
I had a friend who came in for the first time and just walked around, very determined, and looked in every room. I thought it was incredibly rude. I've made a point to never ask him back.
Agreed! Nosy and extremely rude.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
