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This is the most sensible answer. I don't have a social life and I'm fine with that but I certainly don't knock those who do.
This is my feeling about friends. I never had "close" friends and never missed having them.
Now, my casual friends, and there were many, are either dead, in nursing homes or so fragile that they really don't have a life. But I still enjoy the things that I have always enjoyed.....alone!
So while friends are nice, you need to learn to be friends with your self FIRST. Enjoy being alone with just YOU for company. You may be one of those, such as me, that finds circumstances have changed.
yes it is a waste of time. i'm not knocking people that have a social life, i'm knocking the way people socialize and all the crap they put others through in order to see if they qualify as 'socially acceptable.' it's nothing but a joke.
Nothing good ever comes from letting people get too close. I am fond of some people, of course, but I always keep them away at a safe distance and never let them see my true self.
All of those are worthy things but I think we need friends too. Besides, who are you going to use your new language skills on? Who are you going to play the instrument for? Who are you going to discuss the ideas from your books with? What's the point of any of those things without people to bounce ideas off of? I personally could not be out socializing all the time--I'm actually an introvert and often can't wait to get home to my book but I'm much happier overall when my social life is going well--I get depressed when it's not.
I guess I wasn't really talking about socializing that is incidental to doing all these things.
Rather, I meant socializing for the sake of socializing, with no other ulterior motive.
All of those are worthy things but I think we need friends too. Besides, who are you going to use your new language skills on? Who are you going to play the instrument for? Who are you going to discuss the ideas from your books with? What's the point of any of those things without people to bounce ideas off of? I personally could not be out socializing all the time--I'm actually an introvert and often can't wait to get home to my book but I'm much happier overall when my social life is going well--I get depressed when it's not.
You play an instrument for your own enjoyment FIRST. To entertain others is just a side line. The same thing is true of language skills, ideas, etc. It's for your own pleasure.
It's a waste of time when you find out later that those who got close to you have some ulterior motives.
It's time well spent if you simply enjoy each other's companies just because. Even if it's only chance meeting of strangers, the genuine heartwarming talks trump the so called social relationships which are often calculated with hidden agenda.
I just realized that this was about making friends which is different from successfully having friends.
I have friends and they are worth the time spent with them. Anybody I consider a friend is worth the time spent with them.
Other people try to form a stronger connection with me but our manners, culture and philosophies are too different. I certainly keep them at a distance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterlily Pad
It's a waste of time when you find out later that those who got close to you have some ulterior motives.
It's time well spent if you simply enjoy each other's companies just because. Even if it's only chance meeting of strangers, the genuine heartwarming talks trump the so called social relationships which are often calculated with hidden agenda.
Yes. This is why when making friends I always make sure my interests are covered. People in it for themselves eventually move on to other people. However, time will be spent on them.
This is why I can't really call myself a "nice" person. I have to say "no" to these people and some of them can be quite insistent.
No, it's not a waste of time. I think socializing and making friends improves your IQ and you are always learning new things from other people. When you isolate yourself from the world it makes you weird and your social IQ starts to drop
It is certainly a waste of time if you make the wrong friends. Those who include you in their click because misery loves company.
Making friends who challenge you, enlighten you, lift you up, and appreciate you giving back in kind is the most valuable thing you can do in your life.
It is certainly a waste of time if you make the wrong friends. Those who include you in their click because misery loves company.
Making friends who challenge you, enlighten you, lift you up, and appreciate you giving back in kind is the most valuable thing you can do in your life.
I do totally agree with this--I pretty much avoid those who don't lift me up or at least entertain me in some way--I'm not mean to people but I just don't spend any time with those who don't love me. Life is too short and I'd rather read a book.
I have been thinking more about this thread though and I'd like to tell you about my mother. I believe that she thought that any activity which didn't produce a durable and tangible object was a waste of time. She almost always spent her time making things like quilts and clothes and other craft projects but she considered cooking a total waste of time and she really didn't waste a lot of time talking to us either. She traveled but if she couldn't bring home souvenirs and pictures I don't think she would have "wasted" time on that either. As a child my health was very poor b/c mom didn't cook, couldn't cook really, and things only improved when dad took over. Anyway, now I have over 60 quilts in my basement that mom made and not sure what I"m going to do with all those. I would have rather had her love and my health than 55 more quilts than I can use. Oh yeah, and that's not to mention all the time we spent disposing of all the tangible and durable objects that she had accumulated. It was sad really b/c there were really nice things hidden in closets everywhere that had probably not seen the light of day since the day she brought it home.
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