Anyone rarely if ever talk to their adult brothers and sisters? (divorced, girls)
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I have one brother, older by about 2 years. We're both in our mid-40s. He's married (I like my SIL) and has a son (I like my nephew). They live about 20 miles up the road.
I see them MAYBE 4 times a year.
The simple explanation I give is that if my brother and I weren't related, we would not choose to be friends. It's not that we actively dislike each other -- we don't; when we're together we get along fine -- but we really don't have anything in common. Our likes and interests and lifestyles are very different. I don't fit well into his circle of friends, and he doesn't fit well into my circle of friends.
Beyond that, I dislike how he treats my mother. He takes advantage of her, is overly critical -- if he doesn't make her cry at least once while she's visiting, he probably thinks it's a bad visit -- and never has ANYTHING nice to say about her. Hell, he doesn't even call her "Mom." He insists on calling her by her name, even though she's told him she would prefer to be called "Mom." Mom's not innocent in all this. She has no respect for healthy boundaries and will fall all over herself trying to win his approval...some scrap of affection from him.
Their relationship is VERY different from my relationship with Mom, which is much more respectful, two-sided, engaging, and friendly. I LIKE Mom. I like to spend time with her, I think she's adorable and smart and competent and I'm glad she's my mother.
So I think the contrast between the way she and I are together and the way she and my brother are together is just one more reason why my brother and I don't spend time together.
I do not talk to my sisters or my mom on a regular basis... I talk to my mom occasionally, my oldest sister rarely and my youngest sister I haven't spoken to in over 10 years.....
Not much contact with my only brother. We were really never close and that had a lot to do with the horrid upbringing I had. He didn't have it nearly as bad as I did, accept witnessing the physical and mental abuse from my father toward my mother.
I've made the effort through the years even though we are way different people. He's a religious conservative and I'm liberal atheist. He's always had an issue with the latter and I think is the main reason for the lack of contact through the years. He also lives in another state out of my region.
Phone conversations usually last 5 minutes, always ended by him, and are only a few times per year. I have not seen him in 5 years.
Despite all of this I feel we are on good terms. However I wish it could be better, now and then.
I probably speak to/ see my sister once a week. She's always been very independent. My dad was never close to his siblings. He was quite a bit older than them. My mom was always doing stuff with her sisters.
I grew up in a heavily dysfunctional family. I have a sister, she lives 10 minutes from me . I love her but I can't be around her for extended periods of time because our personalities and parenting styles are so different. So, if she needed a kidney I would be there for her, but seeing her on holidays is enough time spent, or seeing her randomly for 5 minutes.
I grew up the oldest in a family of seven. I still have 3 sisters and one brother. We all live in different states, but we communicate by texting usually several times a week. I really appreciate staying in communication with them, especially since my wife passed away two years ago. It feels good to have that family connection.
I've only seen my brother once in 15 and only for a few minutes. That's exactly a few minutes too many. It's sad because he's my only living relative, well there's his daughter that he threw away when she was a baby. I'll never know her.
He's a total piece of crap and I don't want that in my perfect little universe.
I've cut off all contact with my sibs, I don't even refer to them as brothers and sisters anymore. Just sibs when someone asks.
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. I love her but I can't be around her for extended periods of time because our personalities and parenting styles are so different. So, if she needed a kidney I would be there for her, but seeing her on holidays is enough time spent, or seeing her randomly for 5 minutes.
