Why are Human Beings so Mean (wife, boyfriend, children, adults)
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There was a city data moderator, who kept saying, to my sister I am warning you, I am warning you...you will get removed. And she was. What was my sister doing? Stating facts at the height of "political correctness."
"Facts" became offensive, ONLY because the offenders whined, for being called out on their offensive behavior.
As long as people are not crude and degenerate, let them have their "disagreements." That is just a part of human interaction.
It's very easy to be personal and offensive on forums like this because you're doing it from the safety of anonymity. You can hide behind a username and the fact that your PC is probably miles away from everyone else's. The trick is to remember that a forum like this doesn't mean you can behave like an ass. We may hate what another person writes, but common courtesy should still be practiced.
I agree that some of the moderators on here are extra-draconian. I've had comments edited and deleted simply because a moderator disagreed with my opinion.
There are some nasty people here for sure. The politics forum is ridiculous. That forum makes my blood pressure rise to unhealthy levels so I try to avoid it unless I'm feeling really cheeky.
well, I will stand my ground and defend my territory, thats not a problem, but when I see them pull the mean card on others, then others disappear, that is what hurts....
but I'm an old fuddy, and don't care any longer....I do remember when I first started writing on the internet...how offended and hurt I became if someone picked on me....wow...LOL
Assertiveness isn't an issue to me. I feel you. You're standing up for yourself which you ought to. but the mean card does suck. It's really unnecessary and I think sometimes people do that just to make a point. They figure since the person is saying something that is silly to them that the entire person is silly. Ad hominem. I'm guilty of this as well while on here. I'll admit that. When I use it, I don't think my insights are inaccurate but I could probably stop using it.
Sadly, as others have stressed, anonymity can encourage people to be even more caustic online than they would be in real life --- it's like the rudeness you see while driving. I think a lot of the incivility in some forums is the very definition of "impotent rage", i.e., people who in real life are frustrated, fearful, and powerless have an opportunity to beat their chests and roar at their "enemies" online. Perhaps knowing they're upsetting people makes them feel better.
It's almost comical to contrast the amoral cockiness of someone like the internet troll “Violentacrez” with his sheepish demeanor when he was exposed and fired from his IT position. I'm sure many of the mean-spirited name-callers here are simply unhappy grumblers in real life. It's a pity that their behavior discourages others from posting on the forums, though.
I really wish there were more threads that had the tone, "I disagree with you, but I'm curious how you see the world." or, "I disagree with you for these three reasons..." Unfortunately, most people tend to gravitate to media that only reinforces their narrow view of the world, and they simply don't have the skill (or inclination) to debate in a civil manner.
But thankfully, they are kind folks out there, too!
Thanks so much for offereing your perspectives....however, I grew up in a very small town, everyone knew everyone, and yes, there is a decline in my way of thinking, b/c we just were not mean like that. No one was, and even in school, you didn't get away with it....and what is really degrading to our society is that so so so many people resort to either the race card, or, political party refrences...
and I do respectfully believe we are in a social decline....I really do....
But that's just me and I don't think any less of you for your beliefs....
Well, exactly - you were in a small town. It's a closed environment to a certain degree- you HAVE to be nice to each other because otherwise things break down. But if the majority is on the same page, look out if you're in the minority - ostracization and hazing are the norm, even if you may not have experienced that yourself. And now you're out in the larger world where those norms and social fabric don't have to be maintained because it's not a closed system.
What exactly do you mean by "the race card" or "political party references"? I don't see how it's any different from people being singled out in earlier times for other factors.
No, I tend to disagree, there was a time, when things bothered me a great deal, however, believe me, at my age, I don't care, but I do care, b/c people have written me and said they are afraid to write what they believe, b/c of the bullies....that is so wrong, everyone has a right to they're own personal belief...yanno
I'm interested to see where this goes....
I've been a member of City Data for quite a few years....
what I've seen for the past few years, are a whole lot of angry, really disturbed people on the forums...
I mean, they disagree with you, then come in and personally attack someone.
Now I'm pretty darned thick skinned, and don't care what they think of me, however
there are a whole lot of people out there, who they manage to intimidate, and chase away.
I don't get the fact that there are so many people out there, that if you disagree with them, (heaven forbid) that they get all nasty and insulting....?
It frightens me, b/c they are very angry people, and the way they talk to strangers, well, I really do feel sorry for they're kids, b/c they will grow up to be exactly like that to....
My point is, if you have privy to any of these people here at CD, don't let they bully you away....
You do have a right to your opinion...
you do have a right to participate in threads and all subjects...
You do have a right to your beliefs and who you are
What I'm saying is, ignore the bullies and just post
I believe their sole purpose is to shut you up, b/c they don't like what you have to say.
Well, don't allow them to do that, post your beliefs, and don't run away....
They cannot hurt you...
Sheesh, I just don't believe how down right nasty some people can be...I'm not kidding, it is a shock...
A lot of these people hide behind anonymity. They wouldn't dare say what they may have said to you in person.
"Mean" is relative. What you consider "mean" and what I consider "mean" could be completely different. What might offend you, may not even warrant a response from me. Such is the nature of perception.
But still, a punch in a face and a broken jaw, is still a punch in a face and a broken jaw, no matter the perception.
JrzDefector;29198725]Well, exactly - you were in a small town. It's a closed environment to a certain degree- you HAVE to be nice to each other because otherwise things break down. But if the majority is on the same page, look out if you're in the minority - ostracization and hazing are the norm, even if you may not have experienced that yourself. And now you're out in the larger world where those norms and social fabric don't have to be maintained because it's not a closed system.
well, it wasn't that we had to be nice to each other, it is simply put, just the way things were....I remember, when I was young, how close our entire neighborhood was, really, neat. then, I went out in the world to work, and wow....took a while, but my skin was not only thick, but turned colors....LOL, our parents were very strict, they spanked us if need be, but didn't beat us...I'm so thankful for them, for they're perseverence, and teaching us respect for the personal space and property of others. I remember once, my brother was little, and they were walking home from school, I heard him say to his buddy, "we can look at these flowers, but we are not allowed to pick them or touch them!" How many kids today know that? It is parental guidence. When we went into a doctors office, we had to sit on a chair. We were not allowed to walk around, let alone run around, and we had to whisper into our parents ear, if we wanted to say something. Whole different world back then.
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What exactly do you mean by "the race card" or "political party references"? I don't see how it's any different from people being singled out in earlier times for other factors.
Right away, someone chimes in and says, your, not you, but your, meaning whoever they disagree with and say, your a racist....or, that is a liberal/conservative way of thinking...I mean there is so much hate...they actually ruin a perfectly good discussion, not to mention, show how truly narrow minded they are....
Last edited by cremebrulee; 04-19-2013 at 12:40 PM..
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