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If he's in England, Houston or Atlanta might be a real culture shock.
I'm African American and moving to Atlanta was a HUGE culture shock to me.
OP - Just be yourself. I grew up with African American parents and went to private school. So because I don't do stereotypical "black people things" I act "white".... I act like myself. I gave up trying to fight for my blackness or "lack thereof".. I'm just me. I also grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood and speak fluent Spanish so people seem to be extra confused by me. #blackgirlproblems
I didn't think the whole "black sellout" thing was still going? Guess we'll never get away from that.
OP, I actually envy you with your upbringing, but I can also relate what you're going through. First let me try to clear up what some of your fellow African American peers might consider "black culture". This whole notion of hip-hop, street slang, BET watching, anti-academic, is NOT black culture. It's marketed brainwashing from people who claim to be the center of said culture. It's a sad reality that there is a overly large set of AAs that take this like gospel. You're not a sellout, you might of heard the term "haters gonna hate" this is pretty much that. Personally they're intimidated by you, you're no sellout you just chose not to give in to the stereotype.
I used to get so much crap from my sister that made fun of me for not acting "black" and she's a stereotype of a black female. Apparently I can learn my roots by watching all black movies, UPN, and BET, and Africa is such a magical majestic place to live... seriously.
Look, OP, I went through the exact same crap you did, albeit much younger than you and it pretty much destroyed my innocence and naivety. Racial profiling? You bet, getting shoved in a remedial reading class with other minorities and handicaps without a second thought despite good grades. The whole experience you are having made me so depressed that I've actually started failing school from 6-8th grade and nearly held back once. First time I've heard the N word? Second grade. This girl even made a song about it taught to her by her parents. My parents were dysfunctional at best, one British mother, one AA father with a chip on his shoulder. You should of seen his rage when I came home asking what the "N-word" means. I could write a book of some of the messed up stuff I grew up with, but rather than bore you with the details, I will say this:
Please do not forsake your parents who raised you. My God man, you make them sound like the coolest parents in the world. Don't let strangers or distant family members tell you you don't belong, you will have haters but your parents raised you to be you, sure they may have sheltered you for such a long time but think of them as they were protecting you from the nastiness of the outside world.
There were plenty of times where I felt that I didn't belong, there were people that made it their goal to make you feel unwelcome. There will be people in real life and on the internet that will give you crap because they hold something so trivial as skin pigmentation as the calling card of what you are as a person without a second thought.
I've been there son, the stares, the sneers, the jerks, the punks. You just had to start dealing with them at a later age, but don't feel you need to distance yourself from your parents. You don't need the manufactured persona of what's expected of you. If anything THOSE people are the sellouts, those who only listen to hip-hop and try to dress like Master P and wearing gold teeth, doing weed... dropping out of school and talking like a thug, they aren't being black, they're acting upon the fake persona that's polarized by popular culture and nothing more.
Black is not just a color. It's a culture. When people adopt a child of a different race, they owe it to that child to expose him/her to his culture, whether it's taking classes in that culture's history, joining groups comprised of other kids of that culture or whatever. The OP's parents probably meant well but they did him no service by ignoring his culture.
You are very judgmental. The way I see it is the OP doesn't know how to react towards the racism because he never experienced it. He was sheltered and like most sheltered children he's in complete shock and trying to figure things out. He sounds depressed and may need to seek mental help.
You have your own thoughts about Black people and Black culture as you have stated in your past post. You stated that you only talk to YOUR mom 2x a month and that you communicate with your sister by e-mail as they like black culture.
Everyone doesn't like assimilating into "white culture" and everyone shouldn't have to. You are proud to be "whitewashed" (as you state above) so you instantly jumped on the defense. If you read the above post the OP also said that he received racism from Black people as well so how does that equate to him trying to attack white people? He was receiving it from both ends which is why he shut down because he doesn't know where he belongs.
Maybe you are having an identity crisis. You want to separate yourself from the stereotypes of being a Black male so much that you have separated yourself from your own family and is demonizing this young man for not fully assimilating and questioning who he is.
My advice to you: Seek help for your own insecurities before advising someone else on the same issue. It's nothing wrong with liking what you like are being who you are but don't act as if you are superior because of it.
Look young blood love the people who raised you. Love who you want. You have to understand your not the problem. You don't have to please the world. Be around who you want and don't be around those you don't want to be around. Consider this. I'm sure your parents caught some he'll form others but they chose to love and provide for you. Get over it and get on with your life. Don't let people define you. Does a blind man see race?
First, I think distancing yourself from your parents is wrong. They were there for you and raised you. You need to see past color with your parents. They're humans that raised you and care for you.
I can relate to your post. I grew up around mostly whites 99% of the time. The first time I was in an all Black environment that wasn't family was shocking. I was also accused of "talking white" and teased for having mostly white friends and listening to "white" music.
I then went through a phase where I tried to be "more Black". It was just HILARIOUS! I felt fake. Makes me think of that Key and Peele skit where they try to be more Black.
You just need to surround yourself with people who like you for you.
There are idiots in the world that don't realize that there's more than one way to be Black. We don't all like or do the same things. Why is this so hard for people to understand? I'm talking to Black folks as well.
Anyhoo,
OP, I understand you are trying to find your way. Don't let the ignorance and actions of others cause you to distance yourself from the people that love you and raised you. Distance yourself from the ignorant folks and enjoy the people that accept you for the person you are instead of those that are obsessed with your skin color.
You have a very unique experience and you should be grateful for that. I'm glad your parents raised you to be accepting of all people and they exemplified that themselves by providing you with a loving home. Count your blessings.
All that being said, what, exactly, is bothering you now? Do you feel like you should be moving more towards blacks and/or distancing yourself from whites? When you say you don't belong, you mean among the family that loves you, the mates who cared about you? Or is there something else going on, too? I ask because you made a curious comment that you didn't want to know your biological parents because you were "afraid".
Afraid of what?
Afraid of what I'd find. My entire life my parents have always been my parents. The fact that I was brought into this world by another man and woman was pushed to the very dormant recesses of my mind. In fact I never even thought about it - I never thought about the fact that there are two people out there who gave me life. I never thought about who they were or what they looked like. The two people who adopted me and gave me a home were my parents and that was that. I didn't want to think about anything else. It was my way of dealing with it I guess, although I didn't really realise it at the time.
And to answer your original question - I've started feeling like I don't belong either.
I fail to understand why it took you so long to figure out that your parents are white you are black.
I never stated that. If you read my original post, I wrote that I skin colour was of no consequence to me growing up. It didn't matter to me, hence why I never thought about it. It was just something I was so accustomed to.
Quote:
I can understand you not playing with black kids when you were young but as an adult I'm not sure why you still insist on ONLY dating white girls, ONLY having white friends. Sounds like ""self hate"" or at least would be construed as such in America moreso in black America but hey you are in UK.
Like I mentioned before, where I grew up, I was the only black person present. In my original post, I mentioned that all my childhood friends are white. Childhood - the people I grew up with. I do have a few black friends from university (those that don't ascribe to the "sellout" mentality) but the university I got to is very white, and the majority of the people I socialise(d) with (core group of housemates I was with in first year) are white, coupled with old friends from home. When I was called a "sellout" etc by a group of black guys, it was during the first few months of university. I didn't have that many friends at the time - people I talked to yeah but not real friends. However it still stands . . . every single childhood friend of mine is white because that's all I was surrounded by.
On the subject of dating white girls . . . the same applies. My ex (the one I broke up with over this) had been with me since we were 18. We were friends since primary school. I didn't leave home until I was 18. And I haven't been with another girl since breaking up with my ex. I've gotten some hostility from some black people when I mention about every girl I've been with has been white. Even in the beginning with some of the black people I get along with at uni, that was a sore spot.
Last edited by ThierryHenry14; 11-26-2013 at 11:42 AM..
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Understand
It was just HILARIOUS! I felt fake. Makes me think of that Key and Peele skit where they try to be more Black. 
