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Used to be people would say "How do you do" guess that became unacceptable conversation starter so now it is what do you do.
that is all it is.
Don't ask that among the geriatric crowd because they will tell you. Every ache, pain, medical condition, etc. etc. I'd rather hear about what they do.
What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?
I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.
I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.
How do you feel about this question? Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it's gotten to the point that I am asked that question so much that it is an instant turn-off and I either say starving artist or still finding out.
I personally am not defined by my employment because to me it's just a means to doing the things I actually enjoy.
I was even playing Words With Friends and my random, stranger opponent asked me this question.
So again, how do you feel about this question? If you ask, then what is your reason for doing so?
It doesn't bother me. I'm from the south so it beats the heck out of "who are your parents" and "what church do you go to" or the ever popular "have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?"
I have probably ask people before because its a conversation topic and it is interesting to hear about different jobs and careers. Some people don't have hobbies and I really don't care to hear people go on about movies if I haven't seen them also. As far a travel, if it isn't job related are many people really able to travel a lot? That topic seems more a "one-up" topic to me.
The vast majority of the people I know are either Nuclear Engineers or Doctors, you know how incredibly boring that is?
Other jobs sound exciting, and fun.
I agree 100%.
People's professions are a world of interesting things.
Y'all think it's mundane. Let me tell you...MY job is mundane to me (and everyone is always like, "Oh! How exciting!" when they hear what I do). But I have heard of some really interesting things from other people in both unusual and usual type jobs.
What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?
I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.
I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.
How do you feel about this question? Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it's gotten to the point that I am asked that question so much that it is an instant turn-off and I either say starving artist or still finding out.
I personally am not defined by my employment because to me it's just a means to doing the things I actually enjoy.
I was even playing Words With Friends and my random, stranger opponent asked me this question.
So again, how do you feel about this question? If you ask, then what is your reason for doing so?
You're over-reacting. It's normal to ask that, and if it bothers you, you have issues.
i think it's a great question ,what I do for a living a the time , it opens the door for identification with some one.
ones profession marks their values to some degree .
If revealing the fact you work at Walmart bothers you, there are ways to be honest with out win specific.
Traffic supervisor for customer service. = greeter
Or if you are a CEO but want to keep a low profile you can say your a baby sitter.
Agreed with the OP..
For reasons such as what is posted..
___ is a ___ .. as opposed to ___ works as a ___ ..
We live in a culture we like to identify an individual with a particular position. What if someone loses their job as a CEO?
They're not a CEO anymore. What is their identity then?
So I am in agreement with the mentality of it all. Work is what I do not who I am.
People who lie like that (the post you quoted) lack character and integrity.
You seem to be advocating lying to human beings which I find despicable.
I want nothing to do with those types.
if someone asks me I tell the truth. But the subject will be quickly changed. I won't ask in return.
Nothing I said in my response to mainebrokerman indicated what I would personally advocate in response to the subject of the OP ("What do you do?"). I was addressing mainebrokerman's one proposed flippant response to this question, which is to say "I am a liberal and so I do nothing" (or whatever the exact wording is/was). Obviously (based on other posts of his I've encountered), he himself is not a liberal, and so since that was not intended to be good-natured self-deprecation, I personally didn't necessarily like the idea of his saying that. If someone I knew to be conservative said that in real life, well, I guess my reaction to the comment would depend on intent ("just joshin' ya" vs. "let's belittle the liberal(s) in our presence"). He did say "lighten up" in a subsequent post so maybe he'd be excused, heh. These things get lost in translation online.
Anyway, I consider the question pointless in a large majority of cases, and incidentally I do advocate lying if one feels so compelled. Lying isn't unequivocally some bad thing. No action is. If you're not in the mood to tell some prying person that you "sling coffee at Dunkin Donuts" (to quote the title of a recently popular thread on this site), then say ANYTHING you want to accomplish whatever conversational purpose you may wish to attempt to accomplish. If you want to say something really snide in response, then do it. The question is typically (90+% of the time, IMO) asked for one of three purposes: 1.) to try to see if you can be of use to the asker, 2.) to see how you "measure up", or 3.) for lack of anything better to say. 1 and 2 are obnoxious, and 3 is meaningless small talk. I personally derive no enjoyment from bull**** small talk in most cases, so I'm liable to say any number of ridiculous things in response to commonplace queries.
Edit to add: I was recently asked the question several times when I showed up to some free, open-to-the-public Congress For The New Urbanism events here in Buffalo. Most of the people in attendance were out-of-towners who worked in related fields--planning, architecture, etc. I thought the first guy who asked me a variation of the question asked it most tactfully: "Are you an architecture student or just a concerned citizen?" (I'm 28, this guy was maybe 65, so his sizing me up as a potential college student was understandable). See, when framed like this, it's a relevant question to the shared experience at hand. I said "The latter--interested in attending whatever free events I can catch", and he seemed of a similar mind. We walked around mostly dead downtown Buffalo and talked for 20 minutes, and the guy actually gave me a hug as we went our separate ways. Rewarding interaction. Subtleties matter, a lot. I appreciated the way he posed that question and thus I was more engaged in the subsequent discussion than I would've been otherwise. In fact, had he posed it less gracefully, it's likely there would not have been a subsequent discussion.
Last edited by Matt Marcinkiewicz; 07-24-2014 at 07:57 PM..
I hate that. I think it's nosy. Like they're going to judge you if you answer the wrong way. Don't you just want to make something up? Something seedy? Can you imagine? "I gas dogs at the shelter"
When someone asks how long we've been married I want to answer "oh no, we're not married. We're just shackin'"
I remember in the book (book, not the movie) "Moneyball", Michael Lewis reports that Billy Beane, when asked "the question" while he was still playing professional baseball, had the following go-to line: "I collect roadkill on the side of the highway." I think he had another one, too, that he rotated in. His stated reasoning was that he wanted to give women a chance to reject him, that it would've been "too easy" if he answered truthfully, heh.
. The question is typically (90+% of the time, IMO) asked for one of three purposes: 1.) to try to see if you can be of use to the asker, 2.) to see how you "measure up", or 3.) for lack of anything better to say. 1 and 2 are obnoxious, and 3 is meaningless small talk. I personally derive no enjoyment from bull**** small talk in most cases, so I'm liable to say any number of ridiculous things in response to commonplace queries.
.
Wow.
I have been on both the receiving end and the asking end of this question hundreds of times in my life, and never once did the question appear to be asked for any of the three reasons you listed. Never have I given or received a snarky answer to the question. Never did anyone appear to take offense.
In fact, never did anything happen other than a pleasant conversation started! Whatever answer was given always opened the door to other, more intriguing questions, to common ground, mutual connections, etc.
I'm not saying that it is the ONLY or necessarily the FIRST question that has come up in conversation with a person I've just met, but it certainly has come up many, many times in my life. I've lived a lot of places, and apparently no one I've ever met got the memo that this is a rude question.
For those of you who think it is rude, and who think it is cute to give a snarky answer, why would you not reply with a simple, "Oh, that is something I prefer not to discuss." It seems quite ironic that you find it acceptable to respond to unintentional "rudeness" (rude in your opinion) with deliberate, slam-the-door-shut-to-this-conversation, real rudeness.
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I'd rather hear about what they do.
