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My husband’s brother and I had a falling out a year and a half ago. My husband has not really been in touch with his brother for most of this time. There was a brief period after the initial falling-out where my husband was asking his brother to at least talk to me and apologize, but he gave up on that shortly.
My husband is going down this combat PTSD rabbit hole of alcoholism and anger. He had me worried enough to contact, because they used to talk a lot. It started out pleasant. I sent him a Facebook message. “Hey, it’s been a while. How’s it going? We need to talk about your brother. I’m concerned about him.” “Hey what’s going on with him?”
I thought that maybe the man could put aside his butthurt for just a moment and reach out to his brother and tell him that despite their differences, he’s still there for him. But that’s giving him too much credit, because he just wanted to harp on about how I’m a bad influence on his brother and he hopes I never darken their doorstep again. Then he blocked me on Facebook. His immaturity would be really funny if not for the gravity of the situation.
I have pleasant but distant relationships with his mother and sister, as in I don’t talk to them or see them much.
The initial falling-out is dumb. I don’t think it’s important anymore. I get that my brother-in-law despises me (I don’t like him either), but he could at least pretend he gives a crap about his brother.
I think he doesn't like you. I bet his mother and sister barely tolerate you and just play nice.
You sound angry.
Maybe its not your brother in law
He doesn't like me, and I don't like him either. Honestly, I don't really care if my husband's mother and sister are "barely tolerating" me or not. I haven't seen them in over a year, and I've barely spoken to them since.
The issue is about my brother-in-law and my husband. It has nothing to do with me.
Your BIL had no way of knowing if you were telling the truth about his brother.
He just doesn't want to deal with you.... especially via Facebook.
Why FacebooK? Why not call with your concerns? And why call the one you dislike, instead of a family member you are able to tolerate?
I don't have any other way of reaching my husband's brother. I don't know his number (and my husband doesn't have his number anymore) and I don't know his e-mail address (nor does my husband because they never communicate anymore). So Facebook seemed like the best way to get a hold of him.
I really don't want to trouble my husband's mother with this. She has other issues that I won't get into now, and it'll just make her more depressed than she already is. His sister is just going to tell their mother anyway.
The reason I reached out to my husband's brother first is because they used to be quite close before they had their rift. My husband was closer to his brother than he was to his sister. I wrongly assumed he would be willing to bury the hatchet, especially since this situation has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my husband. So my brother-in-law can continue to be as pissed at me as he pleases, but he should at least reach out to his family.
Seems like you are the problem here. What did you think was so important that you had to cause problems between 2 people that were quite close.
I don't really have answers to your question. My disagreement with my BIL was not important. It was over something silly, and I have been willing to bury the hatchet ever since. He took it far more seriously than I ever did.
I didn't cause problems between my husband and his brother. My husband made the choice to distance himself from his brother.
I don't really have answers to your question. My disagreement with my BIL was not important. It was over something silly, and I have been willing to bury the hatchet ever since. He took it far more seriously than I ever did.
I didn't cause problems between my husband and his brother. My husband made the choice to distance himself from his brother.
He made the choice of you over his brother and the reason was your disagreement with the BIL.
Have you sought help from the VA or your local veterans' group?
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