Family wants me to get a job and I don't want to (member, brother)
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I don't work at all and this upsets my family though more so my grandmother. I'm 25 and have never had a job (besides babysitting a few times) though I did graduate from college. During the first half of my junior year my grandpa passed away and I got an inheritance. After graduating, I chose not to apply for jobs. Instead, I travelled and decided to hold off working. Perfect decision for me, but my family doesn't think so.
My dad is upset I don't work but he's more passive aggressive about it. My mom is nicer about it and doesn't care too much but she still worries me and mentions me picking up a job here and there. My grandma (on my dad's side) has been awful to me about it. She's an opinionated, very in-your-face, blunt person and she thinks I'm lazy and constantly tells me that I need to be working and that I need to have a job.
For the past two years I have been traveling and not home much. I went to Europe and Australia and spent some time there so I haven't had to be around the criticism a lot, but when I have come home for holidays I get cornered and my grandma has "blown up" and brought up the laziness and job thing. It seems like I'm not even allowed to chime in or have an opinion on anything because I don't work. She has said that I don't understand how the real world is. We get along off and on but this subject always comes up.
I don't consider myself lazy. I don't work but my life is active. I travel, I cook and I enjoy camping and things like that. I also love gardening and shopping. I save my money but I also invest. True, I was lazy this summer. I now have a house in North Carolina and I fixed it up, furnished it and slept late every day. My favorite part of the afternoon was enjoying sweet tea on my porch and baking apple pies So I guess you can say I was semi-lazy, but still productive. To be honest I feel like I am just enjoying my life and doing things I want to do.
I love my family and want to visit more but I am tired of my grandma's negativity and opinions. I want a way to tell her to stop and to mind her own business but I don't want to disrespect her either. I am happy with my life and I wish she could see that but I don't know how. Is there any way I can do that? She's obsessed with people working.
Never had a job? I'm stunned. Most people have atleast 1 job
before age 25.
OP they either are jealous, or genuinely concerned. Its more of an "idle minds" concept if theyre genuinely worried. Most of us will never be in your situation and those of us who have to work have been trained to believe that we live to work, not the other way around. So youll naturally catch plenty of flack from those who are jealous. Just bear in mind that your bills at 25 are different than your bills at 50. If youre getting 40k a year from investment income that's not going to fair too well for you when youre older. Now if youre talking about getting 200k a year or so and youre reinvesting a good bit and growing it then youre doing pretty well. Theyre also probably worried because the AVERAGE 20 something year old that inherits money will blow right through it and no work history would be devastating to your life.
You may need to just sit these people down and say look, I can handle my own stuff, Im mature and responsible, and I have a professional to manage my estate. Etc.
You need to figure out what your purpose in life is.
Is it all about you, or is it about leaving the world a better place because of something you've contributed?
What are you contributing? What is your passion? What are you passionate about?
If you do nothing except sit home and make apple pies and drink sweet tea, I would find you a very dull person.
She didn't come here for advice on how to find her purpose in life. If you find a person with a college degree who travelled the world, invested in stock and real estate dull, fine.
I find a person dull who never leaves her hometown and works a dull job throughout ther whole life and bury themselves in their apartment.
Well WE don't need to know but maybe the family is worried about having to care for 35 year old OP with no job history or retirement funds.
If money isn't an issue and won't ever be, don't worry about it. There is nothing magical about "working" if you don't need money as long as you feel ok about your life and don't become a drain on anyone else.
Um, yes we do need to know. Look at your second sentence. That's what we need to know, which the OP answered.
OP, if you don't need to work and can handle this windfall, then don't get a job. However, not that it's your family's business, have you explained that by making sound investments that your money is working for you? Some people just can't get passed the idea that the lack of paid work doesn't necessarily mean that one is lazy. If I were in your shoes, I'd be doing the same thing.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lurtsman
He really should have donated that to charity. What you needed to inherit was a swift kick in the rear.
Working is a thing that turns you into an adult. Right now, you are a drain on society. You contribute nothing. Your largest activity is turning food into poop.
Quite frankly, I would disown any child that was so irresponsible. Doing things that you like is not the same as not being lazy, it is the definition of being lazy. It was a waste for you to even go to college since you are not putting the education to use.
You mad bro?
She is not a drain on society just because she ain't working. She is not using any social services that are using taxpayer dollars presumably or committing any crime. As long as that situation remains she cannot be called a drain on society.
The warped ideas of how people would get bored, how they will drain society...is it just that if she doesn't fit into your little view of the world, then she's useless...WOW!
He really should have donated that to charity. What you needed to inherit was a swift kick in the rear.
Working is a thing that turns you into an adult. Right now, you are a drain on society. You contribute nothing. Your largest activity is turning food into poop.
Quite frankly, I would disown any child that was so irresponsible. Doing things that you like is not the same as not being lazy, it is the definition of being lazy. It was a waste for you to even go to college since you are not putting the education to use.
J-E-A-L-O-U-S ... big time.
Even if she is lazy ... so what? NONE of your business as long as you don't have to pay for her.
I know people who don't work...and are busy ALL DAY LONG. One in particular goes around and helps her friends, neighbors, family. She's the first one at the hospital when someone is in need...she's always baking (OMG, her cookies are to die for...no kidding). I would never consider her a drain on society. She doesn't ask for any handouts.
Seriously, people, YOUR idea of what the world should be like doesn't mean that's the LAW. People are always talking about being bored if they didn't work. I say, your imagination is lacking severely. Oh the things I could do...and it might tick some people off, but then, they're not living my life.
I know people who don't work...and are busy ALL DAY LONG. One in particular goes around and helps her friends, neighbors, family. She's the first one at the hospital when someone is in need...she's always baking (OMG, her cookies are to die for...no kidding). I would never consider her a drain on society. She doesn't ask for any handouts.
Seriously, people, YOUR idea of what the world should be like doesn't mean that's the LAW. People are always talking about being bored if they didn't work. I say, your imagination is lacking severely. Oh the things I could do...and it might tick some people off, but then, they're not living my life.
I agree, Oh-Eve...people are JEALOUS BIG TIME!!!
I was a stay at home wife for 1-2 years and was NEVER bored. If you guys don't know what to do with yourself without a job, that's actually sad. Just don't assume everybody is like you.
I have a friend, she doesn't work but she calls herself investor and self employed - she owns a few apartment buildings that she inherited. OP could just call herself an investor, if that makes all you haters happier.
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So I guess you can say I was semi-lazy, but still productive. To be honest I feel like I am just enjoying my life and doing things I want to do.
