Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think anyone is saying parents are bad if their children act up. Mine disrupted a sermon in Church that the old ladies still talk about it to this day and laugh about it. They all have their moments.
People are complaining more about the parents who don't even try to correct their children. It is not every family but any more I see more parents on their cell phones not even interacting with their children but ignoring them. Kids do not learn manners or respect on their own. Kids need boundries and they are to little to decide that on their own.
It is sad, I see it happen not only in restaurants, but the playground,grocery stores, anywhere. Why is your friends, boyfriend, anyone else more important then talking to your child? I'm not talking about a quick call or quick text. I'm talking about the ones you never see look up from their phone. Their kids will act up just to get any kind of attention.
I don't think anyone is saying parents are bad if their children act up. Mine disrupted a sermon in Church that the old ladies still talk about it to this day and laugh about it. They all have their moments.
You are correct. Even the best behaved kids have their moments.
Our daughter had a melt down in a restaurant when she was 2. We were visiting my parents and went to a Japanese restaurant near where they lived. Since it was an early dinner, we were the only customers. They didn't have a high chair for her---only one of those seats that attach to the table but she was too big for that. Then they brought out a booster seat. Since she never sat in one before, she was fidgety and my husband got annoyed, which upset her and she cried. He then took her to the car where they both sat until she calmed down. I let my husband know that he should have just given her sometime to get comfortable in the booster seat instead of getting impatient.
After we brought her back into the restaurant, she behaved just fine.
When she was a little older, we let her know that we take her to restaurants because she behaves. If she didn't behave, we wouldn't take her out for dinner.
Personally I never think it's appropriate to tell strangers in public what to do or how to behave. Period.
There are all kinds of authorities, management, law enforcement figures whose job it is to do exactly that. If you have a problem, you get one of these folks to deal with it, and keep your mouth shut otherwise. If the management/security/whoever doesn't think it's a big enough deal - then it's not a big enough deal.
Most people would think twice about walking up to an obnoxious adult in a restaurant who was talking at the top of his lungs or laughing a loud obnoxious horse laugh every second and demand that they shut up - and believe me I've heard way many of those than misbehaving kids. But yet being a parent automatically puts you in that vulnerable spot where every one and their mother thinks they've got the right to tell you what to do about your kids. As people said, the woman may have been grieving and out of it and just not up to dealing with disciplining her kid at that moment. And yes, I would've thought it was extremely rude in her place to be chewed out by a stranger. It's a very belittling and humiliating experience - and yes, I've been there when my toddler was having a tantrum and I was not able to either calm him or disappear into thin air the moment it started, sometimes people can't just leave a place that very instant for various reasons.
I've encountered plenty of adults who behave in ways that are extremely annoying, and yet I wouldn't dream of telling them what to do - and probably neither would a lot of people here, it's only parents that get targeted. If I feel that someone's behaviour is inappropriate to the extent where an authority figure should be involved, I do it and let them handle it. As people said, you had every right to call the management, to demand to be reseated, to demand whatever - and they would then decide how they want to respond. But you had zero right to tell the woman anything directly, imo.
I basically agree with you that it isn't anyone else's business how someone raises his/her children, unless there are signs of terrible family problems, or illegal activity. And I can remember being out with my three and feeling that people wanted me to spank--really wanted me to. And that others would have been outraged had I done so. And this was decades ago. I can't imagine how hard it is for mothers now.
But, I want to point out that the OP did not chew the mom out. He asked her to quiet her child. According to him, he was polite. So, I don't think he was out of line, since apparently the kid was not being supervised.
Next, do you really want someone to call the cops if you spank your child in public, or if you allow him to get too close to traffic? Really?
If your toddler begins screaming in a pubic restaurant, pick him up and take him outside until he is calm You are the mother. You are in charge. No one wants to listen to him if he is having a tantrum. And if he has many tantrums, you need to find ways to deal with them.
Most people don't accost adults who are being loud or offensive, because it is hazardous to do so. People who are out of control in public are likely to strike out. In that case, it is appropriate to complain to management, who should have sense enough to call the cops. But the principle is the same--an out of control person is distressing to everyone around him/her.
So it's OK to call out loud kids, but not loud adults, b/c the adult(s) might beat you up! LOL!
Yea, obviously it's okay to pick on a tired mom because clearly she won't punch you in the face, whereas you'd think twice doing the same with a burly guy even he was being ten times as annoying, because you're afraid. That sounds fair.
FWIW to me "politely calling out' a stranger's behaviour is an oxymoron, because making directing comments to strangers is rude in itself, imo. So don't be surprised to get a rude response back.
I don't think anyone is saying parents are bad if their children act up. Mine disrupted a sermon in Church that the old ladies still talk about it to this day and laugh about it. They all have their moments.
People are complaining more about the parents who don't even try to correct their children. It is not every family but any more I see more parents on their cell phones not even interacting with their children but ignoring them. Kids do not learn manners or respect on their own. Kids need boundries and they are to little to decide that on their own.
Thank you! It's a breath of fresh air to come across the occasional poster who actually reads the comments and comprehends the context in which people are speaking. Well said, too!
My vote is rude. Not because you approached the mother (although I agree with those who stated it is best to speak with the manager) but because you just had to say "We're trying to enjoy our meal here." Totally b****y.
My vote is rude. Not because you approached the mother (although I agree with those who stated it is best to speak with the manager) but because you just had to say "We're trying to enjoy our meal here." Totally b****y.
I agree. As was imo the comeback about "death in the family". :roll eyes:
Two strangers in a public place, both behaving rudely. No good could come from that. They were lucky it didn't escalate further.
Last edited by Jaded; 12-11-2014 at 12:06 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Their kids will act up just to get any kind of attention.
