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I think in the case of the OP, I would have asked to be moved and I would have told the manager why.
But that's a freaking hassle as well, especially if the meal has already been served.
Not a hassle at all. People do it all the time. We do it when there's something like a draft or sun in our eyes or a loud music speaker, something we thought we could handle when we were first seated but increasingly became miserable. Takes about 90 seconds to move the food and dishes, maybe another 45 seconds for the server to wipe the table we left and put out new flatware.
So - was the OP rude? I don't think RUDE is the best way I'd describe it, but I think the OP could have asked to be moved, and alerted the manager to the situation. I also think that the manager probably couldn't do much BUT move the OP's party to another area.
I think the mother's excuse was probably exaggerated and a knee jerk reaction to her embarrassment at being called out about her child's bad behavior.
My two older children have ADHD and guess what? We're regularly complimented on their good behavior at restaurants. We don't take them to super high-end places but the thought of taking them to someplace like Chucky Cheese makes my skin crawl. I've never been to one of those places and can't see how it's healthy to make kids eat junk food and run around in a completely hyper stimulating environment. How is that teaching them how to behave properly?
For the record, I was taken to high-end restaurants and hotels when I was little, and always behaved just fine. I even got admitted into child-free establishments (not sure how my father pulled that off) and never once had so much as a dirty look given my way. The expectation was that I would behave fine, and... I behaved fine. (I was also raised with European standards, so... maybe that had something to do with it?) My kids' personalities are not QUITE there - they talk a smidge too loudly, laugh suddenly, etc. - that I'd be comfortable at a very fancy place, but they do fine at mid-level places.
Of course, there are moments when I'm out with my toddler, for example, doing a necessary chore, when she acts less than superb. I've had people send a couple of glares my way, but I've grown enough of a thick skin to shrug it off. She's very well-behaved most of the time, and if someone wants to be judgey that she has a rare moment here and there that I can't fix and I can't drop whatever errand I'm doing, then they can judge away. Once I was in line at the pharmacy waiting in line for medicine for said sick baby, and wow, the sick baby was crying. What am I supposed to do, leave and NOT get her medicine? (There wasn't anyone to leave her with right then and there while I went to the store, and it was an hour away from home anyway.) They can think I'm incompetent or uncaring. I will usually try to at least send an apologetic smile their way if I notice annoyance, but sometimes it doesn't work. If they said something to me about it... well, I would probably be mortified, but what can you do? I would express sympathy for their annoyance, explain quickly what was the issue, and then move on with my life. I wouldn't call them rude back to their face - even if they were. And if they were TRULY rude (like the man who slapped the crying baby on the plane or whatever), management would be involved. But otherwise... I'm not confrontational like that.
ETA: There was also an incident when I was standing outside my car in a parking lot, on my phone texting my husband -- because he was being admitted to the ER for an accident -- while my youngest daughter was safely in her carseat, albeit fussing because it was her naptime. I couldn't have been on the phone for more than a couple of quick exchanges (just getting vital details about how badly he was hurt, telling him that we were on our way, etc.) when a man walking by shot me a dirty look and said something about "putting down that phone and tending to your kid." It's all about the snapshot judgments with some people. But that's different than letting a child run around a restaurant while they're being ignored by their chatting mothers. Compleeeetely different ballgame.
I have seen people with really small minds think it was their business to tell the parents of children to do something about their kids behavior only to find out the child had some form of disability that caused the minor annoyance.
Just how long is anyone going to be in a restaurant or whatever that their lives will be so compromised or disrupted that it becomes an imperative to get involved in the parenting of others?
Sure, if they have kids running around and making such a disturbance, say something, to the manager of the establishment because it is their job, not yours to say something.
You see, when you go into a place of business, the responsibility to provide the service or goods rests with the business, not you. You are just one customer of many. While you should speak to the business about any distractions that cause you to feel uncomfortable or disrupt your use of the service or goods provided, it ends there unless it becomes an immediate safety issue for you or someone else.
If you don't like the way the business handles the issue, you have choices and one of them is to stop using that business and require that the cost of whatever services or goods you were trying to use be waived. Let a restaurant lose a nice heftly bill for a fe hundred dollars and the corresponding tip to the wait staff and see how quickly things get handled.
Interacting with other customer can turn ugly very quickly and then instead of you having some standing, since you went outside of the proper procedure you should know, you are out there by yourself.
I went to a Ruth's Criss Steakhouse once and at another table sat some rather loud players from one of the major ball clubs (football). They were completely out of good behavior, constantly talking on mobile phones, yelling to each other and over each other and so forth. We had ordered some top of the card meals along with drinks so the bill was going to easily come to $300 or more. When it came time for dessert, I called over the waitstaff and asked to speak with management. The waitstaff asked if there was a problem and I explained it to them. I was informed that the other guests were regulars so not much could be done.
No problem I said. I said I wasn't going to do anything either and that included paying for the meal thus far unless the manager wanted to do something about the disruption.
The food was actually pretty good, fantastic considering it cost me nothing. dessert was even better because we got that somewhere else.
The bottom line is that while holding the business responsible for the behavior of other guests is appropriate, inserting yourself into what the business should be doing rarely gets you satisfaction. You might get others to quiet down their kids or whatever but are you really all that satisfied after that? Probably not.
So wait... you ate the food first, and then complained and said you weren't going to pay for the food you had already enjoyed?
I can see how that would have worked if you had complained at the start, management said they were going to fix it, and then didn't. But you basically sat through the meal and then refused to pay the hundreds of dollars for the tab?
I have seen people with really small minds think it was their business to tell the parents of children to do something about their kids behavior only to find out the child had some form of disability that caused the minor annoyance.
Just how long is anyone going to be in a restaurant or whatever that their lives will be so compromised or disrupted that it becomes an imperative to get involved in the parenting of others?
Sure, if they have kids running around and making such a disturbance, say something, to the manager of the establishment because it is their job, not yours to say something.
You see, when you go into a place of business, the responsibility to provide the service or goods rests with the business, not you. You are just one customer of many. While you should speak to the business about any distractions that cause you to feel uncomfortable or disrupt your use of the service or goods provided, it ends there unless it becomes an immediate safety issue for you or someone else.
If you don't like the way the business handles the issue, you have choices and one of them is to stop using that business and require that the cost of whatever services or goods you were trying to use be waived. Let a restaurant lose a nice heftly bill for a fe hundred dollars and the corresponding tip to the wait staff and see how quickly things get handled.
Interacting with other customer can turn ugly very quickly and then instead of you having some standing, since you went outside of the proper procedure you should know, you are out there by yourself.
I went to a Ruth's Criss Steakhouse once and at another table sat some rather loud players from one of the major ball clubs (football). They were completely out of good behavior, constantly talking on mobile phones, yelling to each other and over each other and so forth. We had ordered some top of the card meals along with drinks so the bill was going to easily come to $300 or more. When it came time for dessert, I called over the waitstaff and asked to speak with management. The waitstaff asked if there was a problem and I explained it to them. I was informed that the other guests were regulars so not much could be done.
No problem I said. I said I wasn't going to do anything either and that included paying for the meal thus far unless the manager wanted to do something about the disruption.
The food was actually pretty good, fantastic considering it cost me nothing. dessert was even better because we got that somewhere else.
The bottom line is that while holding the business responsible for the behavior of other guests is appropriate, inserting yourself into what the business should be doing rarely gets you satisfaction. You might get others to quiet down their kids or whatever but are you really all that satisfied after that? Probably not.
I really liked the first part of your post, spot on. But then...the rest fell flat. Also not good manners
Yes OP. While it doesn't sound as though anything you said was rude, it's the responsibility of the restaurant to see to the comfort of all their patrons. You should have let the manager know, and at the very least, requested to be reseated away from the loud kids.
I would be furious if I would have to up and move in the middle of my meal. I would probably just up and move OUT of the restaurant and let them deal with the bill on their own since I wouldn't pay for something I didn't get.
I have seen people with really small minds think it was their business to tell the parents of children to do something about their kids behavior only to find out the child had some form of disability that caused the minor annoyance.
Just how long is anyone going to be in a restaurant or whatever that their lives will be so compromised or disrupted that it becomes an imperative to get involved in the parenting of others?
Sure, if they have kids running around and making such a disturbance, say something, to the manager of the establishment because it is their job, not yours to say something.
You see, when you go into a place of business, the responsibility to provide the service or goods rests with the business, not you. You are just one customer of many. While you should speak to the business about any distractions that cause you to feel uncomfortable or disrupt your use of the service or goods provided, it ends there unless it becomes an immediate safety issue for you or someone else.
If you don't like the way the business handles the issue, you have choices and one of them is to stop using that business and require that the cost of whatever services or goods you were trying to use be waived. Let a restaurant lose a nice heftly bill for a fe hundred dollars and the corresponding tip to the wait staff and see how quickly things get handled.
Interacting with other customer can turn ugly very quickly and then instead of you having some standing, since you went outside of the proper procedure you should know, you are out there by yourself.
I went to a Ruth's Criss Steakhouse once and at another table sat some rather loud players from one of the major ball clubs (football). They were completely out of good behavior, constantly talking on mobile phones, yelling to each other and over each other and so forth. We had ordered some top of the card meals along with drinks so the bill was going to easily come to $300 or more. When it came time for dessert, I called over the waitstaff and asked to speak with management. The waitstaff asked if there was a problem and I explained it to them. I was informed that the other guests were regulars so not much could be done.
No problem I said. I said I wasn't going to do anything either and that included paying for the meal thus far unless the manager wanted to do something about the disruption.
The food was actually pretty good, fantastic considering it cost me nothing. dessert was even better because we got that somewhere else.
The bottom line is that while holding the business responsible for the behavior of other guests is appropriate, inserting yourself into what the business should be doing rarely gets you satisfaction. You might get others to quiet down their kids or whatever but are you really all that satisfied after that? Probably not.
So, basically, you were just wrangling to get a free meal somehow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zenapple
So wait... you ate the food first, and then complained and said you weren't going to pay for the food you had already enjoyed?
I can see how that would have worked if you had complained at the start, management said they were going to fix it, and then didn't. But you basically sat through the meal and then refused to pay the hundreds of dollars for the tab?
Is that even legal??
No, and if it had been true, I am sure the manager would have called the police. If It Had Been True.
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