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I am late to this party but wanted to add my 2 cents.
I used to be one of those folks who would criticize other parents who had out of control kids (not to their face though.) I now have two kids with PANDAS, an auto-immune disorder which effects the brain, causing OCD, Tourettes, emotional instability, behavioral regression (acting like a 2 year old, think tantrums), oppositional defiance and urinary frequency. Typically symptoms exacerbate after an infection and then after a month or two gradually diminish. For our kids that means a lot of fear, anger, potty talk, wild behavior punctuated by trips to the bathroom every 15 minutes...or more. You might think they are just misbehaving and disrespectful but they are anxious and scared at the very same time. This can and does often happen at stores, mainly because they find that stressful, which leads back to behavior. We have to get out sometimes to get groceries, go to the doctors etc; its a stressful, painful and embarassing experience for us too. We have received our fare share of comments both from strangers, friends and family. They are either offended by the kids or disappointed in us as parents. If given time they are able to understand that we are our brains, and it is as silly to get angry at a PANDAS child to behave as it is to get angry with Alzheimer's patient for failure to remember.
There are parents who are not doing well in their role of parent either from lack of discipline, selfishness, anger etc. The results may, from a casual observation, look similar to various psychological disorders children acquire in disease. So if I can, I you suggest remember that when you are out and about.
Last edited by NeedsToGrowUp; 12-08-2014 at 12:22 PM..
I am late to this party but wanted to add my 2 cents.
I used to be one of those folks who would criticize other parents who had out of control kids (not to their face though.) I now have two kids with PANDAS, an auto-immune disorder which effects the brain. Their behavior can range from good to absolutely awful, when they are in a exacerbation (e.g. usually triggered after infections and can last weeks to months) During exacerbations, they have verbal outbursts making odd noises or talking about and pointing at peoples privates, or running wild. You might think they are just misbehaving and disrespectful but they are anxious and scared at the very same time. This can and does often happen at stores, mainly because they find that stressful, which leads back to behavior. We have to get out sometimes to get groceries.
There are parents who are not doing well in their role of parent either from lack of discipline, selfishness, anger etc. The results may, from a casual observation, look similar to various psychological disorders children acquire in disease. So if I can, I you suggest remember that when you are out and about.
Nah, they won't, why would they when they can be up on their high horse being superior, sanctimonious, self righteous, smug, judgmental, intolerant and nosy all at the same time?
I am late to this party but wanted to add my 2 cents.
I used to be one of those folks who would criticize other parents who had out of control kids (not to their face though.) I now have two kids with PANDAS, an auto-immune disorder which effects the brain. Their behavior can range from good to absolutely awful, when they are in a exacerbation (e.g. usually triggered after infections and can last weeks to months) During exacerbations, they have verbal outbursts making odd noises or talking about and pointing at peoples privates, or running wild. You might think they are just misbehaving and disrespectful but they are anxious and scared at the very same time. This can and does often happen at stores, mainly because they find that stressful, which leads back to behavior. We have to get out sometimes to get groceries.
There are parents who are not doing well in their role of parent either from lack of discipline, selfishness, anger etc. The results may, from a casual observation, look similar to various psychological disorders children acquire in disease. So if I can, I you suggest remember that when you are out and about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
Nah, they won't, why would they when they can be up on their high horse being superior, sanctimonious, self righteous, smug, judgmental, intolerant and nosy all at the same time?
Again, this says that I am supposed to put up with you. Shouldn't that go two ways? So when I lose it on you and your kids because you are ruining my peace, you should then assume that I:
1) am suffering a loss
2) am dying of cancer
3) have Tourette's
4) am having a bad day
5) had a bad childhood
6) am out of medication
7) am old and cranky
8) have a migraine
etc., and then should respond to me with kindness.
Yes OP. While it doesn't sound as though anything you said was rude, it's the responsibility of the restaurant to see to the comfort of all their patrons. You should have let the manager know, and at the very least, requested to be reseated away from the loud kids.
When I worked as a waitress many years ago I had a manager who would not reseat someone who complained about an unruly child, he would reseat the family with the unruly child, in the same area as others who had unruly children.
After doing that for a while he set aside one side of the restaurant for parents with children and the other side for those who had come in without children.
It was a bit on the ironic side that some of those who had children and were seated with the others with children would ask to be seated on the other side because of the unruly children in that area.
The answer was always "I'm sorry, that section is currently full" or those table have already been reserved and there was a reserved sign on every table that was empty on the child free side.
When I worked as a waitress many years ago I had a manager who would not reseat someone who complained about an unruly child, he would reseat the family with the unruly child, in the same area as others who had unruly children.
After doing that for a while he set aside one side of the restaurant for parents with children and the other side for those who had come in without children.
It was a bit on the ironic side that some of those who had children and were seated with the others with children would ask to be seated on the other side because of the unruly children in that area.
The answer was always "I'm sorry, that section is currently full" or those table have already been reserved and there was a reserved sign on every table that was empty on the child free side.
There is a restaurant that we go to that does this. They don't talk about it but it's pretty obvious. I'm a fan. I go there with my kids.
Again, this says that I am supposed to put up with you. Shouldn't that go two ways? So when I lose it on you and your kids because you are ruining my peace, you should then assume that I:
1) am suffering a loss
2) am dying of cancer
3) have Tourette's
4) am having a bad day
5) had a bad childhood
6) am out of medication
7) am old and cranky
8) have a migraine
etc., and then should respond to me with kindness.
Sound fair?
You'd have zero reason to lose it on me or my kid. However, if someone has say, Tourette's, or is dying if cancer, or is suffering a loss, um yeah I would be sympathetic and try not to be some if not all of the list in my above post.
Sometimes being human is more important than a quiet dinner.
There seems to be some misconception that when you go out in public you're entitled to peace. Where's that written? If you want peace, stay at home. I don't know why people go out to eat when they're so bothered by other people.
There seems to be some misconception that when you go out in public you're entitled to peace. Where's that written?
In pretty much every city/county/state and federal law book.
The following is an example of a state statute dealing with disturbing the peace:
"Elements of Disturbing the Peace: It shall be unlawful for any person to:
Make, continue, maintain or cause to be made or continued any excessive, unnecessary, unreasonable or unusually loud noise or any noise in such manner as to annoy, offend, disturb, injure or endanger the comfort, repose, health, peace or safety of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity residing in the area.
Use, operate or permit the use or operation of any electronic device, radio receiving set, television, musical instrument, phonograph or other machine or device for the producing or reproducing of sound in such manner as to disturb the peace, quiet and comfort of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity inhabiting the area.
Congregate because of, participate in or be in any party or gathering of people from which sound emanates of a sufficient volume so as to disturb the peace, quiet or repose of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity residing in any residential area. No person shall visit or remain within any residential dwelling unit wherein such party or gathering is taking place except persons who have gone there for the sole purpose of abating said disturbance. A police officer may order all persons present in any group or gathering from the dwelling unit to immediately disperse in lieu of being charged under this Section."
In pretty much every city/county/state and federal law book.
The following is an example of a state statute dealing with disturbing the peace:
"Elements of Disturbing the Peace: It shall be unlawful for any person to:
Make, continue, maintain or cause to be made or continued any excessive, unnecessary, unreasonable or unusually loud noise or any noise in such manner as to annoy, offend, disturb, injure or endanger the comfort, repose, health, peace or safety of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity residing in the area.
Use, operate or permit the use or operation of any electronic device, radio receiving set, television, musical instrument, phonograph or other machine or device for the producing or reproducing of sound in such manner as to disturb the peace, quiet and comfort of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity inhabiting the area.
Congregate because of, participate in or be in any party or gathering of people from which sound emanates of a sufficient volume so as to disturb the peace, quiet or repose of any reasonable person of normal auditory sensitivity residing in any residential area. No person shall visit or remain within any residential dwelling unit wherein such party or gathering is taking place except persons who have gone there for the sole purpose of abating said disturbance. A police officer may order all persons present in any group or gathering from the dwelling unit to immediately disperse in lieu of being charged under this Section."
I bet you're super fun at parties.
Well there's your answer, next time poor you has to "put up with" children with a horrifying brain disease that causes them to be unruly, simply call the cops. After you lose it on the mom of course.
I may have missed it, but I didn't see anyone mention that it can be dangerous for kids to run around unattended in restaurants. A waiter carrying a heavy tray or a hot pot of coffee may not see the kid and trip over it, risking pretty serious injury. At the very least, parents should keep the kids in their seats.
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