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Dear Parents with Screaming Kids - if more than one or two people constantly tell you to quiet your kid, maybe that should be a hint that maybe your precious brat is screaming and needs to be taught manners BEFORE you leave the house.
I think I'd agree with some others that it's best to take it up with management. Let them deal with it. It can be a touchy situation and that seems like the best solution to handling these types of situations.
Nah. Why put the manager on the hot seat for something you, yourself, can handle just as easily -- and probably more effectively? :-) So what if they get mad? They sure didn't mind making YOUR meal miserable, and you'll probably never see them again. Assuming you are being assertive, yet polite, why should you sit in misery because a manager probably won't have the spine to correct the situation?
Yeah, I must admit you're right. When she approached me on the way out, I was expecting her to say "I'm sorry my kids were being a little hyper today." That would have been a more appropriate response and I would have said something like "No harm- no foul" or "No problem- no hard feelings- enjoy your day."
I sure know I wouldn't have been allowed to act like that and unfortunately, I think that entitled "I'll do what I want and where I want and to h$&l with anyone else" attitude is more common today than it was a few generations ago (my grandparents generation, for example). But fortunately, not everyone, or even most people, are that discourteous, no matter what generation they're from.
I have a good story to tell (which I didn't really ask for), if nothing else.
Why do you think what you expected the mom to say was "more appropriate". It's totally inappropriate to interfere with someone else's parenting. As many have said, asking to be moved to a different table would have been a better approach than confronting the mom.
One time, a friend and I took our almost 3 year olds to "Disney on Ice". After a long drive down to Denver, and sitting still for a two hour show, we went to a McDonald's for some lunch. McDonald's mind you. By this time, the kids had quite a bit of pent up energy. We sat in the very back of the restaurant, but the kids did run back to the restrooms a few times. (This Mac's did not have a playground.) They were being pretty quiet, OTOH. Two older women were sitting near us. The kids did not go into their space, but these women were talking about how awful the kids were and predicting a life of crime for them. I told my mother about this and she said, "It's not that kids behaved any better when those women had their kids; it's just that people didn't take them out in public". I thought that was very perceptive, and I'd like all the people who are predicting these lives of crime and communism for misbehaving toddlers to remember that.
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Originally Posted by LoriBee62
Maybe these adults had mothers who let them run rampant in restaurants as children. You are what you are taught.
See above. How many kids have you raised?
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Originally Posted by Mattie
Yes, seriously. The poster referenced boorish behavior by adults that would not equate to children running around a table and making a racket. I've never experienced adults being loud except in sports bars or diners in the wee hours. My suggestion is the same as that for the OP. Ask to be moved.
Frankly, I don't believe you. Now I'm not saying you're not telling the truth, I think either your memory is impaired or you just don't notice such behavior from adults. NPR just did a story about office parties and alcohol last week: Mischief Under The Mistletoe: Office Partygoers Behaving Badly : NPR When alcohol is involved, things can get very loud and go very bad very quickly. In fact, since at my own office party someone has gotten drunk and obnoxious two years in a row, our boss has decided there will be no alcohol this year. At first, there was going to be no party at all.
"It's not that kids behaved any better when those women had their kids; it's just that people didn't take them out in public". I thought that was very perceptive, and I'd like all the people who are predicting these lives of crime and communism for misbehaving toddlers to remember that.
This is the point you are missing. We don't care how your children behave in your home. But, if you want to bring them into a public place, then you must make them behave - or expect people to not be happy about it.
It's not my job as someone trying to have a meal in a McDonald's to put up with your children who are behaving badly - for whatever reason.
It's your job to keep them in line, if you choose to bring them into the McDonalds, or any other public place. And if you can't, then you should have used the drive-through, and then taken them to a park to run off the energy.
This is the point you are missing. We don't care how your children behave in your home. But, if you want to bring them into a public place, then you must make them behave - or expect people to not be happy about it.
It's not my job as someone trying to have a meal in a McDonald's to put up with your children who are behaving badly - for whatever reason.
It's your job to keep them in line, if you choose to bring them into the McDonalds, or any other public place. And if you can't, then you should have used the drive-through, and then taken them to a park to run off the energy.
I don't think running to the bathroom a couple of times during a meal at a McDonalds is "behaving badly".
How many kids have you raised, BTW? Please respond.
I don't think running to the bathroom a couple of times during a meal at a McDonalds is "behaving badly".
How many kids have you raised, BTW? Please respond.
Well, that's the difference between you and me. I think running loose up and down aisles, be it to the bathroom or wherever - is behaving badly.
I raised one daughter who is now a business systems analyst, and who was always welcome to go with me anywhere and to anyone's house - because she behaved well.
And when my daughter was young and amped up for whatever reason, I did not put her in the position to have to behave in public. Nor did I subject others to her amped up behavior.
The best way to train a child how to behave well in public, is to 1) teach them manners; but also 2) to put them into situations where they can succeed.
By 1) not teaching your child that it's not okay to run around restaurants, you are teaching your child that it's okay to run around in restaurants.
There is a rule, or there is not a rule. If the kid is too amped up to be capable of succeeding in that environment, then don't put them in it.
Learn this, and maybe your kids will be executives who know how to play well with others, and perform well in a work environment someday.
And maybe people won't cringe if you want to visit them with your kid.
Why do you think what you expected the mom to say was "more appropriate". It's totally inappropriate to interfere with someone else's parenting. As many have said, asking to be moved to a different table would have been a better approach than confronting the mom.
In response to the comment above, I don't think asking politely for someone to turn their own/or their kids volume down a bit in a restaurant, when it obviously is making mine and others' meals unpleasant is "interfering with someone else's parenting." Perhaps talking to the manager would have been an option, but wouldn't asking the manager to move me because of the misbehaving patrons mean the manager would ask the lady and her child do the same thing, so then the manager would be interfering with the parenting (and if anything that seems like it's escalating it a bit to get management involved without directly trying to deal with the problem directly)???
Asking someone politely to please talk (or have their child) talk in an indoor voice is completely different than telling someone "Wow, since your kid is so obnoxious, you obviously don't know what you're doing as a parent. Let me tell you how it's done." Had that been the approach, yes, that would have been a rude way to handle it. The intent was to deal with a specific behavior that was infringing on the enjoyment of mine and my relative's meal, nothing more. Similar to when someone is blocking an aisle with their shopping cart, see that you're trying to get through, and ignore you. Sometimes people need a gentle reminder to adjust what they're doing at the moment.
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Originally Posted by dblackga
Nah. Why put the manager on the hot seat for something you, yourself, can handle just as easily -- and probably more effectively? :-) So what if they get mad? They sure didn't mind making YOUR meal miserable, and you'll probably never see them again. Assuming you are being assertive, yet polite, why should you sit in misery because a manager probably won't have the spine to correct the situation?
In response to the comment above, I don't think asking politely for someone to turn their own/or their kids volume down a bit in a restaurant, when it obviously is making mine and others' meals unpleasant is "interfering with someone else's parenting." Perhaps talking to the manager would have been an option, but wouldn't asking the manager to move me because of the misbehaving patrons mean the manager would ask the lady and her child do the same thing, so then the manager would be interfering with the parenting? Asking someone to please talk in an indoor voice is completely different than telling someone "since your kid is so obnoxious, you obviously don't know what you're doing as a parent. Let me tell you how it's done"
Pshaw. What parenting? If a kid is disturbing 8 tables with his behavior, then I have no problem interfering with that person's "parenting."
If that parent said to me, "Don't interfere with my parenting," I'd say, "Don't interfere with my lunch!"
If a parent lets their kid disturb 8 other tables, that parent better be prepared for a consequence for that. And no, nobody has to be "nice" to the parent who is incapable of parenting that kid.
Frankly, OP, you went above and beyond by asking nicely.
Frankly, I don't believe you. Now I'm not saying you're not telling the truth, I think either your memory is impaired or you just don't notice such behavior from adults. NPR just did a story about office parties and alcohol last week: Mischief Under The Mistletoe: Office Partygoers Behaving Badly : NPR When alcohol is involved, things can get very loud and go very bad very quickly. In fact, since at my own office party someone has gotten drunk and obnoxious two years in a row, our boss has decided there will be no alcohol this year. At first, there was going to be no party at all.
Frankly, I don't care if you believe me or not. I assure you, I am still in full possession of my faculties. How did we go from young children making noise to office parties? I have never, ever attended an office party, or seen one taking place , in the general dining area of a family restaurant. Which is where the OP was.
The original question was whether or not she acted rudely. No, she didn't. She still should have let the restaurant manager handle it though.
I don't think running to the bathroom a couple of times during a meal at a McDonalds is "behaving badly".
How many kids have you raised, BTW? Please respond.
It's no big deal if they have to go to the bathroom ten times, but running isn't a good idea. They might knock over some small kid or elderly person.
And no, I do not have kids, but I was a kid once, and we always behaved in public and at home when people came over. But once they were gone, we were wild animals! We just knew when it was okay to let loose.
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When she approached me on the way out, I was expecting her to say "I'm sorry my kids were being a little hyper today." That would have been a more appropriate response and I would have said something like "No harm- no foul" or "No problem- no hard feelings- enjoy your day." 
