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There seems to be some misconception that when you go out in public you're entitled to peace. Where's that written? If you want peace, stay at home. I don't know why people go out to eat when they're so bothered by other people.
5,000,000,000 % agree. Gee it's nice when you do have what you want...but the world isn't here to make you happy.
I remember many times I have corrected my son and been told by strangers "no don't worry about it, he is making a joyful noise/he is so entertaining/I love to talk to him". Some people really love seeing little kids.
To the person who shared about pandas, I am very sorry. A friend of mine kids has it, it's so hard for her. My daughter has had a mental health problem since...well birth. Let me say, it's a long road with her fears and reactions. But keeping her home is not how you help a child with severe anxiety learn how to manage the world around her. Thank you for sharing.
I raised two children and even took their little friends out to dinner. I did expected them to behave and no running in the asiles or standing up in the booth staring at the people behind them. Just because your in a family restaurant does not mean it is ok to scream, run and throw things.
I also use to work as a server and yes we had names for parents who refuse to parent. When my children were old enough to sit in a high chair we always eat together as a family. We taught them to sit, not scream or throw things. We taught them how to sit at the table during meals. Manners begins at home. Yes they are children and if they could not be still we took them out.
Yes people do have a right to go out and enjoy a meal without kids screaming and being unruly. No excuse for being rude or to lazy to parent.
I may have missed it, but I didn't see anyone mention that it can be dangerous for kids to run around unattended in restaurants. A waiter carrying a heavy tray or a hot pot of coffee may not see the kid and trip over it, risking pretty serious injury. At the very least, parents should keep the kids in their seats.
It is dangerous and one of the many reasons to keep your child in their seat. A waiter/waitress could spill hot food on them or even hurt themselves.
I'm sorry for those who may have children who may have issues like "Pandas" that is different. I'm not saying kids talking and laughing enjoying themselves with their families should stop. I think that is cute and enjoyable. I'm talking about the ones who run around, yelling and being obnoxious.
Here's what happened: I was eating lunch with a relative in a casual sit down restaurant and a woman next to us had three children,...
Did you really expect her to thank you for pointing out to her that she was not doing a good job being a parent?
Yes, the mother was wrong with allowing her child to run around.
However...
I would not have chosen a table with a women with three children next to me.
Second, if I want a quiet lunch, I wouldn't choose a family, casual dining place.
Third, as others have said, just move.
God forbid that parents should have to do something to keep their children at least reasonably well behaved in public settings. I'm not talking about mentally challenged children but regular children. Having said this my brother and I had enough diagnostic markers as children to be candidates for ritalin but back in the day there wasn't a diagnosis for our high energy and lack of concentration but my parents kept us in line and I learned self control and to be considerate of others though it was harder for me than my sisters. My parents were not happy and were probably exhausted but we were not allowed to do what I see so very often in public places.
It's not mental or physical health issues in the vast majority of cases but lazy parenting and lack of empathy for other people. Admit it or not, the folks that are apologists for allowing kids or adults to act out in public are simply giving themselves and others an out for their own lack of consideration for others. In other words, their needs come first no matter what. I'd sooner stick a hot poker in my eye than assert my right to disturb others with obnoxious behavior and then blame the person being disturbed as too sensitive or having a pole up their keister. Yes, there are those type of overly fussy people but I think most of us are talking within bounds of moderation and reasonability. The last resort of those on the wrong end of an argument is to point out the extremes.
Again I have a vast tune out mechanism but I'm pretty sure that in that family restaurant that one day those children were not ill but rather poorly supervised. There is no excuse for that.
See, I've read plenty of posts on here from people like the OP who have witnessed situations like that and still reacted the same way, regardless of whether the parent is trying - they would scoff that the parent couldn't control their kid, hadn't taught them manners *before* going out in public, just kept asking them to stop without 'doing' anything, and dared not to just leave because clearly they were bothering everyone. These types of people don't seem to care about the parent's feelings or what they're going through, it's all about them and 'your kid is bothering me so he shouldn't be here'. They couldn't care less whether the parent is 'trying' or not because the result is the same. That type of attitude really bothers me.
God forbid that parents should have to do something to keep their children at least reasonably well behaved in public settings. I'm not talking about mentally challenged children but regular children. Having said this my brother and I had enough diagnostic markers as children to be candidates for ritalin but back in the day there wasn't a diagnosis for our high energy and lack of concentration but my parents kept us in line and I learned self control and to be considerate of others though it was harder for me than my sisters. My parents were not happy and were probably exhausted but we were no allowed to do what I see so very often in public places.
It's not mental or physical health issues in the vast majority of cases but lazy parenting and lack of empathy for other people. Admit it or not, the folks that are apologists for allowing kids or adults to act out in public are simply giving themselves and others an out for their own lack of consideration for others in other words, their needs come first no matter what. I'd sooner stick a hot poker in my eye than assert my right to disturb others with obnoxious behavior and then blame the person being disturbed as too sensitive or having a pole up their keister. Yes, there are those people but I think most of us are talking within bounds of moderation and reasonability. Again I have a vast tune out mechanism but I'm pretty sure that in that family restaurant that one day those children were not ill but rather poorly supervised. No excuse for that.
OP no need a long story just imagine why we call them kids? I think reading this might be help you!! Instead of criticizing just try to enjoy looking at what kids do. there is a limit kid can take as well do. Also there is a limit parent's can teach them too. Being irritated is part of you and if you need exactly as you want you should hire a high class restaurant where no kids allowed but adults only. Just imagine instead of a kid if that was a male stripper would not you guys enjoy the show?
Ten Ways We Misunderstand Children by Jan Hunt
1. We expect children to be able to do things before they are ready.
We ask an infant to keep quiet. We ask a 2-year-old to sit still. We ask a 3-year-old to clean his room. In all of these situations, we are being unrealistic. We are setting ourselves up for disappointment and setting up the child for repeated failures to please us. Yet many parents ask their young children to do things that even an older child would find difficult. In short, we ask children to stop acting their age.
2. We become angry when a child fails to meet our needs.[indent] A child can only do what he can do. If a child cannot do something we ask, it is unfair and unrealistic to expect or demand more, and anger only makes things worse. A 2-year-old can only act like a 2-year-old, a 5-year-old cannot act like a 10-year-old, and a 10-year-old cannot act like an adult. To expect more is unrealistic and unhelpful. There are limits to what a child can manage, and if we don't accept those limits, it can only result in frustration on both sides.
These two points are good reasons to NOT take a child who is incapable of behaving to eat in a sit-down restaurant---unless the restaurant is Chuck E. Cheese or a similar type place.
If a child can't sit still and behave during a meal, then don't take the child out to eat.
Frankly, I don't care if you believe me or not. I assure you, I am still in full possession of my faculties. How did we go from young children making noise to office parties? I have never, ever attended an office party, or seen one taking place , in the general dining area of a family restaurant. Which is where the OP was.
The original question was whether or not she acted rudely. No, she didn't. She still should have let the restaurant manager handle it though.
Sigh! Here's a problem with CD, and with communicating via the written word in general. You're always having to explain yourself to someone who takes offense.
I did not mean to imply that you are not in possession of your faculties. I meant that perhaps you can't remember an adult being obnoxious and annoying in a restaurant because you simply let it pass. It's one of the problems with going out to eat, as was discussed later in the thread. I remembered the incident I described because it happened the night before. I'll probably remember it forever b/c of posting about it on here, but in general, I don't keep a catalog of incidents from every time I go out to eat. However, I can tell you there have been many times I've been out and around drunken, loud adults. I gave that example of a Christmas party to show how adults behave when they've had too much to drink. In point of fact, the last party my office had was in a restaurant, and there were a few very drunk individuals, which has caused my boss to say "no alcohol" this year.
To be honest, I can't remember a specific incident where kids were making a lot of noise and being obnoxious. though I can tell you I've seen it happen. I will say, however, I have never, ever walked up to a total stranger and told her how to parent her kids. The OP thinks she was being polite. . . well, she wasn't. I definitely agree with GiGi603 on that. What did the OP expect?
I don't expect perfection from kids in public, but I do expect the parents to TRY to discipline them. What irritates me is when I see a kid twisting off and an oblivious or completely ineffective parent doing nothing to control the child in question.
I have seen kids laying on the floor screaming at their mother's feet standing in line at TJ Maxx, while the oblivious mother texted away on her phone. Come on.
I don't particularly care for it when a child in a neighboring booth stands up and stares at us, or tries to talk with us, or sticks his tongue out, whatever, but I'm not going to be unpleasant in that sort of situation. I start to get a bit unraveled if the same child starts jumping up and down in the booth shaking our seats (yes, this has happened) and the parents do nothing about it. But if the same parent tries to do something - takes the child out for a few minutes, speaks firmly to them, or even turns around and apologizes to us - I have a lot more grace than if they do nothing, or decide to come give US a lecture if we look sternly at the child and say "Please sit down."
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