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Little kids will be little kids, that doesn't mean they can't have manners. Running around, crawling on the floor, screaming, etc...is not acceptable behavior.
If you can't control kids in a restaurant, than eat at home.
I'm not saying the little kid or the mother were justified in their behavior. As in other life experiences, I believe that we're responsible for our own behavior, not the behavior of others (unless we are their parent or manager!). I think parents should teach their children good behavior but I can't force them to do so. Consequently, I will occasionally run across a misbehaving child and an apparently oblivious adult in public. If it's in a restaurant, my first response is to ask the restaurant to either address the issue or move us - after it becomes apparent that the situation is going to be ongoing.
If the restaurant didn't do either, I'd leave and not go back. I probably would not approach the parents because I prefer not to have a confrontation over a child's behavior while other people around us are trying to enjoy their meal.
Now - in a theater - I will not hesitate to lean forward and ask someone to quit talking so loudly or to turn their phone off. If a child is inappropriately crying or being disturbing, I will go ask the manager to take care of it though.
It's been my experience that parents can be unduly or overly defensive about the behavior of their children. One of my life mottoes is "Don't engage in a fight with someone who may be more ruthless than you are." Parents are often loose cannons - as the OP's experience testifies to.
Now - I have in the past on occasion confronted a parent and so has my husband, but it's very rare.
OP - I am on your side but you asked for the response you got from the mother. Most parents who have unruly children in public have this 'well, they're just children" attitude. Confronting strangers like this is asking for trouble.
There was a recent thread about this either here or Current Events where a similar situation the person complaining got jumped and 3 of her teeth were severely damaged. Never heard a follow up but it seemed she was close to losing them and got stuck with a very expensive dental bill. It could have been worse.
I suggest all take note of what can happen when confronting strangers.
The only thing one should do in this situation is asked to be moved. I agree with a couple of posters that said the restaurant doesn't want to get involved in saying anything. Twice in the past (a very long time ago) I did this and they did nothing.
This thread is a reminder to me on a reason why I do not enjoy going out to eat anymore.
Last edited by John13; 12-07-2014 at 05:18 PM..
Reason: typo
btw I have very well behaved kids in public. But I am so sick of all these posts whining about kids. If you are bothered by them, stay home of find establishments who segregate them or ban them. Easy peasy. You cant decide how she parents and clearly doesnt know what she is up against. Moms dont have to stay home to make you happy. Get over it.
Adults chewing loudly aren't going to make conversation difficult for the tables around them, just unpleasant for their dining companions.
I am always ready to call out those who are just impatient with normal childhood behavior. That doesn't sound like the case here.
Seriously? Just last night we went to a neighborhood restaurant for dinner and one member of a group of adults was apparently drunk and being extremely loud and IMO obnoxious. His tablemates were laughing (either at him or with him) and they were having a good time. As we weren't seated super close to them, we did nothing. And that's hardly the first time I've had such an experience at a restaurant. The number of times adults have been loud and annoying far outnumber the times I've been annoyed by kids, and I'm not that tolerant, period. When the kids were little, we'd go out to eat early and there'd be people from local offices there for FAC and it could get very noisy.
Another thing, OP, most parents are very sensitive about criticism of their kids from total strangers. You were expecting one response, and you got another. Let that be an object lesson.
she told me that it was very rude for me to have said anything to her about her son. Surprised, I just responded "no, it wasn't rude" and she just stormed off.
btw I have very well behaved kids in public. But I am so sick of all these posts whining about kids. If you are bothered by them, stay home of find establishments who segregate them or ban them. Easy peasy. You cant decide how she parents and clearly doesnt know what she is up against. Moms dont have to stay home to make you happy. Get over it.
No one is saying that moms have to stay at home. What they're saying is that they do have to control their kids and nip bad behavior in the bud.
Our daughter behaved when we took her out to dinner. In fact, we made it a point to let her know that because she did behave that's why we took her out to restaurants. If she didn't behave, we wouldn't take her anywhere.
Fast forward to today---she has 3 boys and they are well behaved when they go out to dinner. Twice when we were with them, people stopped by the table to compliment our daughter and son-in-law on how well behaved the kids were.
I now make it a point to stop by a table if I see parents with well behaved kids and compliment them. In every case, the parents appreciated this and thanked me.
-------------------
OP---I had a similar experience. I used to work in a library. One day I was shelving kids books and had a very large cart with me that was quite full. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a boy about 4 years old who just plopped himself down on the floor on the other side of the cart and was looking at a book. The space was tight so when I had to move the cart, I said to the boy "Could you please move? I need to move my cart." He totally ignored me. I said "hello?" Nothing. I gave the cart a little nudge and he got up and left.
Next thing I knew, his mother came up to me and she was very angry. According to her, I scared him to death and I just should have been patient and waited until he was ready to leave. I told her that I didn't want him to get hurt. She got sarcastic and said "You're a very patient person". I said "thank you".
And here I thought that she was going to apologize when she approached me
Not really. Many people today "sit on their hands" for various reasons, whether it be hopefully someone else will speak up, or are fearful of strangers who might get violent or pull out a weapon.
I've had that happen in movie theaters. Someone is making a ton of noise during the movie and I'm biting my tongue hoping someone else will say something. Ideally, the person sitting closer to the offender. My husband is usually the guy who will say something, and when he does, others in the theater usually add their agreement, which is nice.
Another thing, OP, most parents are very sensitive about criticism of their kids from total strangers. You were expecting one response, and you got another. Let that be an object lesson.
Yeah, I must admit you're right. When she approached me on the way out, I was expecting her to say "I'm sorry my kids were being a little hyper today." That would have been a more appropriate response and I would have said something like "No harm- no foul" or "No problem- no hard feelings- enjoy your day."
I sure know I wouldn't have been allowed to act like that and unfortunately, I think that entitled "I'll do what I want and where I want and to h$&l with anyone else" attitude is more common today than it was a few generations ago (my grandparents generation, for example). But fortunately, not everyone, or even most people, are that discourteous, no matter what generation they're from.
I have a good story to tell (which I didn't really ask for), if nothing else.
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When she approached me on the way out, I was expecting her to say "I'm sorry my kids were being a little hyper today." That would have been a more appropriate response and I would have said something like "No harm- no foul" or "No problem- no hard feelings- enjoy your day." 
