Were you once friends with someone who USED YOU? - Non-Romantic Relationships -Issues with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

fluffythewondercat · 05-28-2015, 07:13 PM

Yes, I had a friend who needed a job and I needed someone to work for me. She started cheating me on hours almost from the start, and when I put an end to it, she was the one who was angry. I take responsibility for it all. I'd ignored the advice, "Never hire family or friends." Now I know why.

The users who caused pain, though, are not the ones in my life but rather my husband's life around the time I met him. He was a 40 year old bachelor. A couple of creeps took advantage of his good nature (and desire to be liked) and used him as unpaid labor. I was shocked to find out what-all they had him to do when they never reciprocated. Never even had him over for dinner. The creeps weren't too happy he was dating as that meant he had something else to do with his time. And after we moved in together, it was years before he heard from them again. I'm happy he never realized they were just in the friendship for what they could get. We see them rarely but they don't miss a chance to be nasty to me. Tough noogies, users. Get lost and stay lost.

rosebyanothername · 05-29-2015, 06:05 PM

Yes, and too many times to count and/or remember. I have been told I am too nice so people take advantage of me. I am getting better at trying to be more assertive and stand up for myself. It's hard for me (obviously, or I wouldn't have had to post my previous post

I know it hurts to have others use us. I do think as long as I treat others with respect and always try to do what is the right thing to do, then if others do not treat me nice, then it is their bad--not mine. I am geting too old to spend too much time dwelling on all the "wrong doings" of others, and hopefully one day I will be able to brush off things like lint on my jacket.

I hope you can, too. Life's short.

amylewis · 05-30-2015, 03:23 PM

I'm not surprised at all to see others responding to the OP by playing the blame the victim game. It's become very popular on these forums and some pretty sick and twisted crap. You people doing this really suck. Welcome to my ignore list.