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My brother would put a foot so far up her rear end It would not be funny . My husband would not tolerate such treatment and any man who would needs to have his head examined . We teach people how to treat us and obviously your brother has not taught his wife how to treat his family end of story . Tell your brother to grow a set or file for divorce . it is just that simple .
Please read the entire thread or at least trust and assume that I wouldn't be "resentful" about nothing.
And yes, it MUST be a blessing to have a family!
Really, I'm fine. Peace to you, too!
I had read the entire thread before posting. My opinion has only been supported by your snarky responses...You need to explore your own issues. You cannot control the actions of others, let go and heal yourself.
Then why did you ask "Treated like what?" when I had already described the aforementioned treatment in far more detail than I had set out to describe it? Confused!
And I think I've agreed that "you can't control others" about fifty times already.
I wonder what kind of relationship the mother-in-laws posting have or had with their own mothers-in-law. I think it can be very hard to blend a family. Also, as a daughter who is extremely close to her own mother, no mother-in-law will ever be as close. It is not that I won't love her and include her;it is just different.
Interesting observation, and no doubt true. It raises an interesting question. Given that women are naturally closer to their own mothers and sons naturally aren't ("until he takes a wife" and all that) -- and if we also agree that most men let their wives arrange the couple's social lives -- does it behoove the wife to make an effort to achieve fairness between the two sets of parents, all else being equal? I know that my own mother went the extra mile to be inclusive and welcoming to her MIL for the sake of her husband, children, and just out of simple common courtesy and kindness, and I believe I would.
otterhere,
Women keep the family together. (or apart). The mother is the heart of the home.
It's always been like that. Why? idk, but that is how it is.
Women in families have always been fighting since the beginning of time.
It will always be that way.
People do want they want to do. They do what works for them.
So you do what works for you. Seriously, just move on.
You can't change anything that happened in the past, your parents are gone,
you are here, so do what make you happy. Others don't care and can't make you happy.
If your brother wants anything to do with you, he knows where to find you.
I'll tell you one thing though, if I were you, not a birthday would go by for one of my
nieces or nephews that I wouldn't have sent them a card with a gift.
Not a major holiday would go by that I wouldn't have sent them a card with something
in it for them.
So when they grow up, they will know who you are, and that you cared to send them something
and say I am thinking of you.
Despite the relationship with you and your brothers wife and family.
Good Luck to you.
"Women keep the family together. (or apart)." So true!
As I've already said, we always got together (before my mother's passing) on holidays and birthdays, so obviously they got their cakes, cards, and gifts growing up. It's just that they always had to leave really,really fast afterwards because, oh, the dog had to be fed or rain was coming or whatever...
I would recommend keeping in touch (to anyone else in this situation), but I wouldn't break the bank. No matter much you spend, give, or try in general, if you're not in the inner circle as decreed by the mother, it's pretty much wasted effort; you can't "buy" your way in. I've seen this in divorced families trying maintain to contact with children turned against the absent parent and family by the custodial one, for instance. Send a card, but don't expect thanks. Know you did your duty and and, as you say...
My brother would put a foot so far up her rear end It would not be funny . My husband would not tolerate such treatment and any man who would needs to have his head examined . We teach people how to treat us and obviously your brother has not taught his wife how to treat his family end of story . Tell your brother to grow a set or file for divorce . it is just that simple .
OP is dissapointed and hurt but doesn't sound like a person who would demand to break an otherwise happy home and mess up lives of his nieces and nephews over a family feud. Her brother sounds like a peaceful and compromising person, not a violent psycho who would torture anyone to get his point across, let alone his wife and mother of his children.
Anyways, every story has two sides. We don't know all the facts, all we know is how OP looks at this situation.
OP, I belive you got more unsolicited advice for a lifetime. To answer your real question, its not desireable but it happens. Humans are complicated beings, you don't know what sort of insecurities and complexes people carry in their little brains. Don't mess up your own relationships over this, try to find a good balance for everyone, if you start your own family.
Interesting observation, and no doubt true. It raises an interesting question. Given that women are naturally closer to their own mothers and sons naturally aren't ("until he takes a wife" and all that) -- and if we also agree that most men let their wives arrange the couple's social lives -- does it behoove the wife to make an effort to achieve fairness between the two sets of parents, all else being equal? I know that my own mother went the extra mile to be inclusive and welcoming to her MIL for the sake of her husband, children, and just out of simple common courtesy and kindness, and I believe I would.
Opinions?
I know that I went out of my way to make sure that our family spent a lot of time with my in-laws. Sometimes, we really couldn't spare the money to travel 1,000 to see them, but I made sure that we somehow found the money so that our children would know both sets of grandparents & extended family.
My son & DIL are doing the same with our family (only in his case it is 2,000 miles to visit us when his wife's parents live 45 minutes away from them).
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