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If they say "one more thing," say, "We'll talk about it next time. Bye!" and hang up.
If they are SO clueless they can't tell the length of phone calls are a serious burden to you, their feelings won't get hurt by your being assertive.
Yes, I've been pretty forceful on many occasions.
Like, "Listen, I told you I could talk one hour but that I'd have to hang up at 9 pm. It's now 9 pm, so we'll have to continue this some other time. Bye!"
But she is utterly undeterred and it's the same thing every time.
While I'd be glad to call more often for shorter calls, this routine is emotionally exhausting. In my opinion it's passive-aggressive behavior.
I pretend the person's voice is breaking up because of a bad signal or road noise and hang up on him/her. "What'd you say, Sally? I can barely hear you. I think I'm losing you! We must have a bad connection or something!" Click. That way it's not me being rude, but AT&T. If the person calls back, that's what voicemail is for.
I know who they are and I head them off at the pass. When they call, I say, "How nice to hear from you. I'm glad to talk by I have to leave for an appointment in ___ minutes." Then let them talk and when the minutes are up say, "Sorry to cut you short but it's time for me to leave."
If they call late at night when you couldn't possibly be going anywhere, that's what caller ID and answering machines are for. When they call later and say, "Where were you last night?" say you were sleeping or have a short sweet reply that will bring them up short. I used to say, "I was entertaining George Clooney and didn't want to be disturbed." But now that he's married, I guess I will have to think of someone else.
Like, "Listen, I told you I could talk one hour but that I'd have to hang up at 9 pm. It's now 9 pm, so we'll have to continue this some other time. Bye!"
But she is utterly undeterred and it's the same thing every time.
While I'd be glad to call more often for shorter calls, this routine is emotionally exhausting. In my opinion it's passive-aggressive behavior.
If that's the case, feel free to hang up after you say, "It's 9 pm, gotta go," even if she's in mid-sentence. It's no ruder than what she's doing. It doesn't matter why she's doing it. It's unconscionable.
Good idea, Scooby. I've also used "I've got to go to the bathroom," "There's somebody at the door," "I've got a call on the other line," etc.
What galls me is that these two folks -- and one is worse than the other -- keep coming back to the same routine. They've been doing it for years.
Their lack of consideration pushes me into taking action that I don't like. I honestly don't like making excuses.
And you know, I've told them this explicitly. It's not some unspoken complaint that I'm harboring.
I guess it comes down to putting up with it or just X'ing them off the list. It will be the former, because I basically like them despite their ceaseless yakking.
If that's the case, feel free to hang up after you say, "It's 9 pm, gotta go," even if she's in mid-sentence. It's no ruder than what she's doing. It doesn't matter why she's doing it. It's unconscionable.
Agreed, Jukesgrrl, but it's still hard for me to do. I've done it a number of times, but later I always feel sort of bad about it.
I just say something like..."Oh look at the time! I've got to let you go now, I'll talk to you next week (or whenever), ba-bye!" (click). Don't wait for a response, just say "ba-bye" and hang up immediately. Or my other alternative is "I really got to go now, I mean really....I need to pee. Talk to you later" and then hang up. This works well since I'm a woman in my 50's, I always have to pee (TMI, I know).
My mom always tells me this when I call, but I assumed she was telling the truth.
Anyway, I liked the advice from another thread on this topic: hang up on them, but do it while you're speaking so that they'll just think you got disconnected. Obviously, don't answer the phone if they call you back.
I have actually thought about buying an extra battery operated door bell to use in the house, when my mother phones and goes on and on! I would then imagine pressing said door bell and saying "I've gotta go, there's someone at the door"! He he!
Can you believe that I've actually put the phone down on a table and gone and done other things, whilst my mother has been on the phone? And I could still hear her yapping away!
My other trick is to just say "Yeah" every so often, whilst thinking about other things, like what I am going to cook for dinner...
A suddenly serious voice and mention of sudden gastric malaise due to fast food burritos, or some other greasy food is a good standby followed by, "Sorry, but I've got to go, NOW. Bye!".
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