Disappointed in friend (husband, dysfunctional, college, money)
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I've known this friend for years. Smart lady. Straight A's all through her schooling & college years. Her career of choice was being a Teacher. She had a job for a few years until the school closed down due to lack of enrollment. Since then, she had trouble finding another full-time teaching job.
Now she tells me she's working at a bar. I bit my lip keeping my mouth shut wanting to be a supportive friend. She refuses to work far from her hometown. I do know she likes to drink, meaning getting drunk every weekend.
I have to wonder if her alcoholism is a reason why she can't find a job.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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It's possible . Is she married or does she have a partner? Some people do those kinds of jobs because they are either lonely or crave attention. It's also probably similar or possibly more money. It's fast cash and it becomes addictive. People that work in the service industry usually become a somewhat dysfunctional family. You work together,eat and hang out after your shift. There is much more social connections between employees then teaching or corporate America. It's also usually more fast paced then watching the clock tick slowly from an assembly line,desk or cubicle.
It's possible . Is she married or does she have a partner? Some people do those kinds of jobs because they are either lonely or crave attention. It's also probably similar or possibly more money. It's fast cash and it becomes addictive. People that work in the service industry usually become a somewhat dysfunctional family. You work together,eat and hang out after your shift. There is much more social connections between employees then teaching or corporate America. It's also usually more fast paced then watching the clock tick slowly from an assembly line,desk or cubicle.
Yes, she's married to a man that's been in & out of incarceration a few times.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,034,178 times
Reputation: 3911
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34
Yes, she's married to a man that's been in & out of incarceration a few times.
And your just now wondering why she isn't making a mature,rational.decision? I bet almost 100% she has low self esteem and doesn't want the pressure or judgment that a teaching job would include. Having a jailbird husband isn't a huge deal at the tavern but in almost any other job it would be. Especially being in a small town, his actions and her association with him is going to have a very negative influence on any kind of teaching career.
I don't get it. You didn't say anything in your post about what it is that you think she's doing wrong. What is causing you to have to bite your tongue and not be supportive? All that because she is working at a bar?
Hmmm. I worked in public schools for 4 years, and it would drive anyone to drink! JK, but honestly? I had to have therapy to get over the damage it did to my hopes and dreams for the future. I have new hopes and dreams now.
I don't think you can boil her choices down to one cause or weakness. Maybe she just doesn't want to teach anymore. Maybe she hated it. Maybe she wasn't good at it and got fired. Maybe the drinking is the cause or the effect of that. Maybe her husband is the cause or effect. Regardless, you can't make assumptions about what she SHOULD be doing with her life. That isn't what support is about.
I think you could say you are 'disappointed FOR your friend' once you've found out where her heart and mind is....but to say you are disappointed IN her....that's just judge-y.
She's working at a bar and that is disappointing? She's making an honest living, and probably better than she was as a teacher.
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