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I work for a large corporation. A lot of our managers are from the NY area. I noticed they smile a lot when they are here. However, when I took a trip to visit them, they didn't smile nearly as much.
I asked one of them about it and he said when they travel around the country, they are reminded to smile a lot. Apparently it softens the harsh NY accent. I think it works because people here are not put off by them at all.
OP, I want to add, when you run over people with your voice, which my ex did frequently, you are in effect bullying the person through your loud voice and intimidation via using the full volume of your voice to prevent the other person from speaking.
You will NEVER succeed in the adult world with such immature and dysfunctional coping and communication skills. No woman will ever feel safe with a man who can't control himself or his emotions.
I want to add, as my name implies I am from NJ, and this is not a normal behavior up here either, as evidenced by my ex-bf's inability to succeed for long at jobs in NJ due to his temper. If it were normal here that wouldn't be the case now, would it? So you can't use the "that's just how we are in the northeast" excuse, it's B.S., sorry.
As I recall, OP was suspended for that incident and given mandatory anger management therapy. Of course the whole office is aware of this, so it surprises me that he thinks they are giving him a wide berth because of the way he talks. They are probably shocked and dismayed that he is still employed among them.
And once again, I'm not a mean person! All I'm saying is that one or two people said that I "sound mean". No, I'm not angry or trying to be confrontational; I've learned from that. Yes, in the past I've had a couple of tense situations, but those are behind me. I am a nice guy and compassionate. Honest.
To take this topic on a slightly different slant, imagine how a man is perceived if he has a deep voice vs. how a man is perceived who has a high voice. The same case can be made for women. There seems to be an "ideal" pitch for men and another for women.
I'll argue that men with deeper voices are more respected and envied than guys who's voice is higher than the norm.
I have a somewhat deep voice (certainly not Barry White-deep) but use a thick tone when trying to get a point across. I can be blunt, but I'm no Harry Cohn (Google him). I just ask that people understand my viewpoints. In my way of thinking, I could be wrong in what I bring to the table (and at times I am), but what if I'm right?
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