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Being "pro"active and learning how to deal with an audience and not "re"active when an audience doesn't particularly sit well with you will definitely help. Once you learn that you can control your emotions and not let them get the better of you, your reactions to particular situations will absolutely change as will the outcome from your reaction.
OP can work on this, now that he knows how he comes across. My husband has worked on the same kind of thing his whole life. When he is adamant about something, he comes across as angry and threatening. In his mind he is neither, but he is perceived this way, so now he makes a point of really trying to tone it down.
Now, It's true that people judge us by the words we use, and I'm quite articulate. But I was told by a couple of people that I "sound mean", in that I have the propensity to be mean and cruel and yell at people. I'm a teddy bear, and just about everybody who knows me will say that I'm a really nice guy - but I was told by these folks (those who said that I sounded mean) that I have a bit too much "bearing" in my way of talking. A little background: I'm New York born-and-bred, still have the New York tone, even though I haven't lived there in 30 years. I'm a little hurt in that some people may think I'm mean! Get to know someone before you judge them.
If you sound like Chris Christie, some people will be put off. Why isn't he the leading candidate for President? He is certainly qualified and has popular, moderately conservative views, but… he comes across like a bully.
There are people who are always looking for something to judge someone else about. Being from the deep South, I too get judged by my accent or voice. There are those that believe people from the South are ignorant or fake just like some people believe people from New York are harsh or mean. Just be yourself, and try not to let it bother you. Your accent or voice is part of you.
I have lived and worked all over America and its NOT your accent.. its your tone or your volume or your gestures or both or either face and hands movements.. ITS YOU... have a friend film you when your not aware.. it will be obvious..
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
Now, It's true that people judge us by the words we use, and I'm quite articulate. But I was told by a couple of people that I "sound mean", in that I have the propensity to be mean and cruel and yell at people. I'm a teddy bear, and just about everybody who knows me will say that I'm a really nice guy - but I was told by these folks (those who said that I sounded mean) that I have a bit too much "bearing" in my way of talking. A little background: I'm New York born-and-bred, still have the New York tone, even though I haven't lived there in 30 years. I'm a little hurt in that some people may think I'm mean! Get to know someone before you judge them.
This morning, I actually audio recorded the sound of my speaking voice and did not like what I heard! I sound like a drill sergeant without the yelling. So I'm teaching myself to speak slower and softer.
LOL That's what I sound like sometimes. It used to be only when I needed to - as in being the only adult with 21 cub scouts under my charge - but that was living up north. Moving down here, it's not acceptable.
There are people who are always looking for something to judge someone else about. Being from the deep South, I too get judged by my accent or voice. There are those that believe people from the South are ignorant or fake just like some people believe people from New York are harsh or mean. Just be yourself, and try not to let it bother you. Your accent or voice is part of you.
My southern accent comes in handy in business situations when people make the assumption that my mind is as slow as my speech. On the other hand, I have had way too many strangers or casual acquaintances assume I'd enjoy their racist jokes because of my good ole boy accent.
Oh, and the fact that I'm not butting in when you're talking doesn't mean I'm a good listener. It means I don't feel like talking.
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