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I met this girl (I'm guy) at a new job a few months ago. Somehow we got to work together and became a little friendly. She's not your typical social nor very warm kind of girl, it's more the opposite she doesn't shy away from sarcasm. While I do not necessarily overly appreciate being sarcastic people she was also friendly enough at the same for me to form a positive opinion of her.
While we are both single, there was never really flirting going on with her nor did I consider her as someone I could be romantically interested in, not overly into her looks nor her sarcastic/passive aggressive personality. She was pretty much just a coworker I had a friendly work relationship with, nothing more nothing less.
At one point she asks me for my number, which surprised me. She would start texting me to chit chat fairly. I didn't mind talking to her. The exchanges were always flat, once I made a slightly off-color joke and she immediately put me back in place.
Fast forward, she is sent to another location of the company in the same city, and I resign. I happen to have something to do in the same building where she now works. She offers to get together for lunch right before I take care of that errand, to which I agree. Later she calls out stating a work situation happening around lunch time, and offered to get dinner instead. I replied that I couldn't as I have commitments after. She replied literally "Fine, I am disappointed but do whatever you feel like. PLEASE".
I didn't reply. Her answer really turned me off, I feel like she is emotionally black-mailing me. I don't think she is in an position to demand such things from me. What do you think?
If you have no emotional attachment to this girl how can she emotionally blackmail you?
It appears that you are being beyond dramatic and allowing her blatant sarcasm to make you feel guilty which is your issue and has nothing to do with this girl.
Learn to control your own emotions instead of allowing others to control them.
Here is some advice from a sarcastic female, still waters run deep, go where few men have ventured if you want some real excitement
Oh please, one does not have to be a smart mouth with a bad attitude to have "still waters that run deep"
and if you had paid attention the girl he is describing is not exactly the poster child of "still waters".
"I feel like she is emotionally black-mailing me."
I don't think you really know what that term means. It was coined by an author of an educational article describing damaging classroom models. A therapist named Susan Forward later appropriated it and popularized it one of her pop-psychology books about intimate relationships. Since your interactions with this woman were only superficial, why would she bother engaging in such a dynamic.
Emotional blackmailers use such tactics as fear and guilt, as well as the constant threat to withhold love or approval, in order to gain the upper hand in very close relationships such as spouses, siblings, or parent and child. If you had that strong a reaction to the simple sarcastic comment this woman said to you, your interest in her must be far stronger than you are claiming it is. If she was, as you say "pretty much just a coworker I had a friendly work relationship with, nothing more nothing less," the she couldn't possibly be emotionally blackmailing you.
Maybe she likes you, but just doesn't know how to show it. Wait and see if she contacts you again.
Yes. That's what's happening here. The woman initiated the conversation/texting, then later asked the OP out to lunch, had to cancel for a legitimate reason - then instead asked him to dinner. I don't see how this can get any clearer - i.e., she likes the O.P.
Originally Posted by maggie2101
What the hell?!!?! You are overthinking the situation not to mention a wuss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123
Thanks for posting what I was thinking too.
+2
And she is not your co-worker. She is your former co-worker. There is a whole different set of rules for interacting with actual co-workers versus just about anyone else.
Oh please, one does not have to be a smart mouth with a bad attitude to have "still waters that run deep"
and if you had paid attention the girl he is describing is not exactly the poster child of "still waters".
I went back and read his post, I'm not seeing anything about her being anything less than still waters. You sound like one of the guys that think my private life is all that too Just because I can take a mans head off at 20 paces with my tongue
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. You sound like one of the guys that think my private life is all that too
Just because I can take a mans head off at 20 paces with my tongue
