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I went back and read his post, I'm not seeing anything about her being anything less than still waters. You sound like one of the guys that think my private life is all that too Just because I can take a mans head off at 20 paces with my tongue
Agreed. You sound fairly feisty too
Quote:
Originally Posted by RestArea
And she is not your co-worker. She is your former co-worker. There is a whole different set of rules for interacting with actual co-workers versus just about anyone else.
Also agree with this as well. There are plenty of women I work with that I find attractive (and know the feeling is mutual), but because we're co-workers I have to act a certain way around them. That being said, if they stopped being co-workers for whatever reason & I ran into them under different circumstances, as I said....I'd hit that
I see no emotional blackmail, simply she is pushy. I wonder why you feel the need to entertain any sort of relationship with her, since you really aren't interested? Seems like a time waster.
And, if someone interprets what little interaction you described as enough for relationship material, then gets a bit huffy when you aren't available last minute..it is red flags for me. I would move on quickly.
I met this girl (I'm guy) at a new job a few months ago. Somehow we got to work together and became a little friendly. She's not your typical social nor very warm kind of girl, it's more the opposite she doesn't shy away from sarcasm. While I do not necessarily overly appreciate being sarcastic people she was also friendly enough at the same for me to form a positive opinion of her.
While we are both single, there was never really flirting going on with her nor did I consider her as someone I could be romantically interested in, not overly into her looks nor her sarcastic/passive aggressive personality. She was pretty much just a coworker I had a friendly work relationship with, nothing more nothing less.
At one point she asks me for my number, which surprised me. She would start texting me to chit chat fairly. I didn't mind talking to her. The exchanges were always flat, once I made a slightly off-color joke and she immediately put me back in place.
Fast forward, she is sent to another location of the company in the same city, and I resign. I happen to have something to do in the same building where she now works. She offers to get together for lunch right before I take care of that errand, to which I agree. Later she calls out stating a work situation happening around lunch time, and offered to get dinner instead. I replied that I couldn't as I have commitments after. She replied literally "Fine, I am disappointed but do whatever you feel like. PLEASE".
I didn't reply. Her answer really turned me off, I feel like she is emotionally black-mailing me. I don't think she is in an position to demand such things from me. What do you think?
1) You don't know what emotional blackmail is.
2) Texting isn't talking.
3) Learn from this, I know you no longer work together, but you don't date people you work with.
She replied literally "Fine, I am disappointed but do whatever you feel like. PLEASE".
What, a teasingly sarcastic person is being teasingly sarcastic? I'm shocked, I tell you; shocked!
OP, you're way overthinking this. I'll bet if you had replied "Yep, I arranged my evening's plans for the sole purpose of having an excuse to avoid having dinner with you, if our lunch plans somehow fell through," she would have gotten a chuckle out of it, and that would have been that. (That is, if you actually SAID those words, instead of texted them; a lot of communication is through visual and tone of voice cues that don't exist in texting.)
If you want to hang out with this person, go ahead. If you don't, then don't. But what happened here is hardly worth fretting about.
dont lead her on, i would let her down easy.
just make up something like you just started seeing someone and you cant text her anymore since the person you are seeing will get upset (if she doesnt get the hint then just be honest that you dont have feelings for her).
op/ed:
you seem to be the dramatic type, so you will probably just lead her on until one or both of you get hurt.
Here is some advice from a sarcastic female, still waters run deep, go where few men have ventured if you want some real excitement
I don't see the correlation with his thread at all- the quality of "sarcasm" in a woman is not what I would describe as a calm exterior. Your follow-up response was....strange.
Still waters run deep definition
A person's calm exterior often conceals great depths of character, just as the deepest streams can have the smoothest surfaces.
dont lead her on, i would let her down easy.
just make up something like you just started seeing someone and you cant text her anymore since the person you are seeing will get upset (if she doesnt get the hint then just be honest that you dont have feelings for her).
op/ed:
you seem to be the dramatic type, so you will probably just lead her on until one or both of you get hurt.
Maybe the term "emotional blackmail" wasn't the appropriate to use here, when maybe "pushy" would be have been a better fit (English isn't my first language).
However I'm not sure how you can label me as being the dramatic type when all you have to base your judgement on are just a few lines from a forum post. That's a pretty dramatic assumption to make.
Also our interaction have always been neutral, my demeanor towards her was never flirty and she was always the one initiating interaction, so I don't how I could possibly led her on when I don't lead anything. If someone 's been leading her on it's herself.
Maybe the term "emotional blackmail" wasn't the appropriate to use here, when maybe "pushy" would be have been a better fit (English isn't my first language).
However I'm not sure how you can label me as being the dramatic type when all you have to base your judgement on are just a few lines from a forum post. That's a pretty dramatic assumption to make.
Also our interaction have always been neutral, my demeanor towards her was never flirty and she was always the one initiating interaction, so I don't how I could possibly led her on when I don't lead anything. If someone 's been leading her on it's herself.
Well....taking your words. You made the same assumption about her when she texted you back. Assumed that she was emotionally blackmailing you.
I would reply something quite non-committal. Try texting...."Yep, we'll see you". That will end it (the need to see you) for sure...Or trigger an outraged response, if she is putting more into this "relationship" then you want.
Personally....I think you in denial and are putting more into this too...then you want to admit. People don't usually start threads and question someone's intentions, unless they are emotionally invested.
If you truly enjoy her just as a friend....tell her that. Friends are nice to have.
So....if you don't want to be invest...just stop, stop being available, stop texting, stop calling, stop showing up. Otherwise, you truly are leading someone on. Good luck to you.
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. You sound like one of the guys that think my private life is all that too
Just because I can take a mans head off at 20 paces with my tongue
