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My short answer would be yes. However, my view is that nearly everyone is racist. It's just a matter of to what degree. We all have our biases, even unconscious. I bet most people also judge others on what they wear, their body size, way of talking. Why would race be any different. Having a partner and friends of different races doesn't mean someone isn't racist. It's just that most of us are taught it's not socially acceptable to voice seemingly racist views in this day and age. In conclusion, there's way too little information about your friend to determine how truly racist he is. You have to observe him interacting with those of different races, not just what he says. Very few people will be free of racial biases, it's just up to each individual to decide how much is acceptable in a friend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945
This is one of the most honest posts I have ever read ! As much as we like to put up the face of being totally color blind, in reality, most of us are not. I am not, and I am not ashamed to admit it. That does not make me a raging racist, just human, and it is human nature to like our own backgrounds and have some concerns and views about others.
The "confusing" part for the OP is how the friend can have a non white partner but say the things she says. It is very simple, let me explain. Most of us do not dislike ALL blacks, or ALL Hispanics, just some of them. For example, I have great admiration for someone like Obama and his family, who are super nice people and who try to do the right things. However, I hate the thugs ,in some neighborhoods, whose only goal in life is to commit criminal acts or to suck off of the welfare system.
Is my friend racist? You decide... these are a few of the statements she has made in the last few weeks. Or am I overreacting?
"I don't like these Asian people, they are way too pretentious"
"These Mexican people who work here, those gardeners, must have stolen my stuff"
"All these Indian people [insert derogatory statement here]"
However, said friend is white but has a non-white partner, has mixed race friends etc. so this is highly confusing...
Yep. Racist.
It's not uncommon for bigots to hold racist views about broad swaths of a particular ethnic group or groups, but give a pass to some they know personally that disprove their stereotypes as "one of the good ones". Exceptions that don't count, basically.
Is my friend racist? You decide... these are a few of the statements she has made in the last few weeks. Or am I overreacting?
"I don't like these Asian people, they are way too pretentious"
"These Mexican people who work here, those gardeners, must have stolen my stuff"
"All these Indian people [insert derogatory statement here]"
However, said friend is white but has a non-white partner, has mixed race friends etc. so this is highly confusing...
You know, there is no law carved in stone anywhere that says a person has to love each and every single person on the face of the earth unconditionally and never, ever form opinions.
I'm also willing to bet that if she had said some of the exact same things about her own family, or some her white co-workers that you wouldn't even bat an eyelash over it. Am I right?
So then what makes anybody else so special that they're above negative opinions?
My short answer would be yes. However, my view is that nearly everyone is racist. It's just a matter of to what degree. We all have our biases, even unconscious. I bet most people also judge others on what they wear, their body size, way of talking. Why would race be any different. Having a partner and friends of different races doesn't mean someone isn't racist. It's just that most of us are taught it's not socially acceptable to voice seemingly racist views in this day and age. In conclusion, there's way too little information about your friend to determine how truly racist he is. You have to observe him interacting with those of different races, not just what he says. Very few people will be free of racial biases, it's just up to each individual to decide how much is acceptable in a friend.
This is one of the most honest posts I have ever read ! As much as we like to put up the face of being totally color blind, in reality, most of us are not. I am not, and I am not ashamed to admit it. That does not make me a raging racist, just human, and it is human nature to like our own backgrounds and have some concerns and views about others.
The "confusing" part for the OP is how the friend can have a non white partner but say the things she says. It is very simple, let me explain. Most of us do not dislike ALL blacks, or ALL Hispanics, just some of them. For example, I have great admiration for someone like Obama and his family, who are super nice people and who try to do the right things. However, I hate the thugs ,in some neighborhoods, whose only goal in life is to commit criminal acts or to suck off of the welfare system.
Don
Don I'm with you there.
I'm a minority (black), and I've been denounced by BOTH sides - whites, for obvious reasons; my own race because I never spoke "ghetto", dressed "ghetto" nor acted "ghetto". I'm college educated, work a stable job and have my own place - albeit an apartment. I don't listen to Rap, or hip-hop, so I guess I'm in the "minority" (pun semi-intended).
My short answer would be yes. However, my view is that nearly everyone is racist. It's just a matter of to what degree. We all have our biases, even unconscious. I bet most people also judge others on what they wear, their body size, way of talking. Why would race be any different. Having a partner and friends of different races doesn't mean someone isn't racist. It's just that most of us are taught it's not socially acceptable to voice seemingly racist views in this day and age. In conclusion, there's way too little information about your friend to determine how truly racist he is. You have to observe him interacting with those of different races, not just what he says. Very few people will be free of racial biases, it's just up to each individual to decide how much is acceptable in a friend.
Here's my feeling on this one. It's impossible to grow up without some kind of predjudice. If it's not racial, it might be religious, it might be red state/blue state, it might even be sports related! I've seen all kinds of vitriol launched at fans of rival sports teams based on nothing more than wearing the wrong color jersey in the wrong part of town.
We all have this, but the vast majority can recognize these predjudices for what they are. A reasonable person may be uncomfortable about muslims, but still be willing to give a muslim a fair chance if they meet one, or at the very least avoid making broad defamatory statements about them in public or online out of a sense of fairness and decency. For instance "I've heard X about muslims, but I've never met any so why would I repeat this toxic thing I've heard?" etc.
Racists on the other hand do no such thing. They take their personal predjudice as gospel, are extremely resistant to changing their opinions and possibly hostile to anyone with a different viewpoint. Dating a brown guy? Then you're a "race traitor" and deserve the same treatment! Racists aren't shy about broadcasting toxic opinions in public or online, because why would they? "Everyone knows" that "those people" can't be trusted! If they hold their tongue, it's not out of a sense of fairness or the possibility that they might be wrong, but only because they may be outnumbered and don't want to be called on it. These people will for instance frequently drop the N word or the F word when surrounded by people who think as they do, but clam up around strangers or in a mixed crowd. The friend of the OP seems to be in this latter category, not the former.
It's not a bad thing to have a predjudice or personal preference. Everyone does. The line between having a predjudice and being a racist is in the willingness to change that opinion when presented with new information, as well as basic respect and decency to others.
My short answer would be yes. However, my view is that nearly everyone is racist. It's just a matter of to what degree. We all have our biases, even unconscious. I bet most people also judge others on what they wear, their body size, way of talking. Why would race be any different. Having a partner and friends of different races doesn't mean someone isn't racist. It's just that most of us are taught it's not socially acceptable to voice seemingly racist views in this day and age. In conclusion, there's way too little information about your friend to determine how truly racist he is. You have to observe him interacting with those of different races, not just what he says. Very few people will be free of racial biases, it's just up to each individual to decide how much is acceptable in a friend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
My favorite was a girl who proclaimed she wasn't a racist but said "but well, I hate Mexicans because I was almost raped by one. You can't trust any of those guys". She was friends with other people of different races. No Hispanics.
My grandmother hated people with red hair. I was born with red hair and she wouldn't even see me until my hair turned blonde a few months later. She hated all red heads because she was engaged to one and he did her wrong. She warned me never to trust a red head. (Oddly, it has sunk in a little and I have had to check myself several times).
Racists isn't just the spewed ugly thoughts. It's the disability to see one single person for who they are instead lump them in with all others who have the same physical traits.
Animals, including the human animal, have for many, many thousands of years formed groups/packs for safety,support, common defense and survival. Members of the pack identify themselves by their similarities. Those who are not members of the group are identified by their differences (visual, smell, etc.). Strangers, those who were not members of the group were synonymous with 'danger'.
Being alert to the differences of others is/was a survival mechanism that is deeply ingrained. No amount of laws or 'political correctness' is going to alter the innate response of different=suspicion/distrust/danger...no matter how much some people might want it to be so.
It is completely *natural* to distrust others who appear to be different from oneself. No amount of wishful thinking will change that.
In fact, this behavior is still being reinforced by those [members of] groups who choose particular methods of of identification to ally themselves with a particular group, in opposition to other groups. These methods range from such things as 'thug'/'gangsta' dress and mannerisms, to 'colors' worn by biker gang members and tattoos worn by certain criminal elements, to titles such as 'democrat' and 'republican'.
None of this is going away any time in the near future. This behavior is 'built in'. Regardless of how technologically advanced we might be compared to a couple of thousand, or even a couple of hundred, years ago, the human race is not sufficiently evolved to eliminate this trait. Heck, stupid people are still fighting (and killing) over silly fairy stories, and some foolish people think that passing laws is going to cause an even more basic survival mechanism to just 'go away'?
We have a long, long way to go...maybe even another 10,000 years...if we can manage not to annihilate ourselves over something silly like "my 'god' is better than yours" in the meantime...
Is my friend racist? You decide... these are a few of the statements she has made in the last few weeks. Or am I overreacting?
"I don't like these Asian people, they are way too pretentious"
"These Mexican people who work here, those gardeners, must have stolen my stuff"
"All these Indian people [insert derogatory statement here]"
However, said friend is white but has a non-white partner, has mixed race friends etc. so this is highly confusing...
Every one has preferences and prejudices . The term racist is overused and exploited.
Your friend is not racist, he s just being an asswhole.
Education alone isnt enough to make civilized and cultured opinions and comments about others.
IMO, a racist is one who stereotypes or spreads his and others hatred of all the people because a few of them differ from their own religious beliefs or ethenticity.
I think that racism is born of ignorance or out of blindly following the wolves in sheeps clothing because it is the popular thing to do during certain widespread tragic events.
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As much as we like to put up the face of being totally color blind, in reality, most of us are not. I am not, and I am not ashamed to admit it. That does not make me a raging racist, just human, and it is human nature to like our own backgrounds and have some concerns and views about others.
