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Yes, any person who is being physically assaulted has the right to defend himself and my opinion is that parents who use physical "discipline" are teaching their child violence and therefore have it coming to them.
I am saying this as someone whose parents "disciplined" me that way.
There really is no need for anyone to get physical with anyone else. Most people can talk through their problems.
That being said---if you grew up in a physically abusive household, you will eventually fight back. My mom used to hit me all the time, boy wasn't she surprised when at age 12-13, I started hitting her back. She hit me a lot less often after that.
I never hit my kids. There is no need to. Once a child is old enough to be reasoned with (around age 4-5) then spanking serves no purpose.
I could never even allow my imagination to ever consider hitting a parent or grandparent. If I ever did that, I'd probably walk into a courtroom and ask to be executed.
I'd have no reason to hit my mom or my grandparents or any of my siblings, even in self-defense. When I was 19, I had a spat with my dad. He was visiting for Easter for the weekend. His life was a mess at this point. He was a really toxic person. He only hit me a couple times. That weekend he hit me over something really stupid. I think he hit me a couple times when we were outside. It was really nothing to hit somebody over, unless you had some real problems. Luckily, I had and still have a best friend that was very overprotective of me. He was there that day. My dad never liked him, he never liked my dad. After my dad hit me, he came over and got in his face. They almost came to blows. Now his dad thinks he's the best person in the world, so he didn't understand how somebody else's dad could act like that to their kid.
I kinda wish I stood up to him that day, I was a pushover at that age. If that had happened 4 or more years later, I think I would have hit him at least one more time than he hit me. He's been dead for over 4 years now and I don't really care. I'm a little bit unsatisfied that he didn't get to meet my soon-to-be-wife, because knowing him, he wouldn't have believed that I could get such a woman. I'm sure he would have found something wrong with her or something to complain about. At the same time, I'm thankful she never got to meet him.
I grew up with old-school parents, where the thought of getting physical with my parents was forbidden; they didn't play that. While my parents weren't abusive (nor their parents), they had no problem disciplining me if needed. I asked my dad if he ever got into a fight with his parents and he said ever so candidly, "Son, if I even thought of hitting my parents, I wouldn't be your father today."
That is simply a myth or delusion. Many people CANNOT and will not "talk through" their problems.
And for those who claim there is never a justification for physical violence, you've never been jumped or attacked. You don't stop and say, "Whoa, dood!! Wutt??" You will get physically damaged if you think talk stops violence.
OP sounds like an abusee. Getting whipped with a belt for not having great math skills indicates the old man is the problem. If a mean drunk parent gets in your face and corners you and gets physical, guess what, you meet fire with fire. Sometimes an important lesson can be learned by the aggressor. Sometimes not.
But assault is real. And self-defense is the very first, primary natural right in all the animal kingdom. That includes humans.
Okay, so for me I just turned 16 and the thing is, my mom just came back from work, and was clearly stressed out. Me and my sister didnt feel like cleaning today so we just did our own thing. (Cause we're lazy) And once she noticed we didnt clean, she got really upset and she forced me to start sweeping. She walked around the livingroom and saw my shoes on the floor and she told me to go put my shoes away while she took the couch out. So I wanted to put my shoes under my bed, but my grandma said to put them in the box(since they're new). So while was looking for the box, she started screaming for me to go help her with the couch, and I was trying to put the shoes away. Once she found me she told me to go help her put the couch out and I say "Okay mommy, wait."(not harshly lol) but then a few seconds later she gripped onto the back of my shirt(and hit my back too, cause I have a bruise now) and started hitting me, so I hit her back(mind you she's REALLY strong btw compared to me) I started screaming and telling her to stop hitting me and stuff. Once she stopped she asked "Whats wrong with you?!" And I asked her the same question, then she slapped me really hard on the cheek. Then right after she told me to leave cause she didnt want to see my face. So I started crying, then about ten minutes later she came into the room that I was in and told me, " I should've kicked you out of the house..." and "You hit me...you are not considered my daughter anymore, dont you EVER ask for anything, and when you're sick don't come to me." Like I understand you getting upset about me not cleaning, but you didn't have to hit me like that. Like, what do you want? I'm just a human being too, I can't do everything at once I'm just a child and the things you do can either have a good or bad influence on your children.
Your mom had a bad day, and she came home to chaos. I think think she feels overwhelmed and she over reacted. And I suspect you were backtalking.
You could apologize for not doing your chores. Your mom works, and then she came home and had to work some more, because her kids felt lazy that day. If you apologize, I suspect she’ll apologize or at least soften towards you.
If she frequently slaps you, or uses physical violence toward you such that you fear for yourself, then you can tell your school counselor who is a mandated reporter. Your family would probably get a visit from a social worker. This is a big deal and it could threaten your family, so do this only if you are afraid of being harmed.
Do the things that are expected of you at home. I know you’d rather not do them, but if you get them done, then you have some time later for yourself.
OP - you mentioned this happened when you were 17. How old are you now?
I'm 32 years old by now. This was something I wanted to share since some people continue thinking parents are untouchable beings that can get physical whenever they want to.
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