Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you want a lot of replies, you might want to go back and fix that.
I know my mom felt she was in direct competition with me. It worked out on some levels. She never brought her boyfriends around. Which is good for me! But only because she worried I might be more attractive to them. But then sometimes when she was a hard cold ummmm... *meany*. She got married when I was in college. After that semester I had to get her new husband's tax records to file for financial aid and loans. She refused to ask him or even let me talk to him. I couldn't go to college any more.
I don't think it was competition. I think she was just a...meany.
I know I love parenthesis!!!! I don't know if I can go back and edit it now though - I think it's too late. (I wanted to but that in parenthesis, too)
Thank you for sharing HighFlyingBird! That makes me feel better (if you can believe it, lol). in parenthesis again, someone stop me..
My own children know that information, they wouldn't have to ask. I don't think the OP has the right to any information on her step siblings that isn't already public information, in which case, she can find it if she looks hard enough. If she had a relationship with them, it wouldn't be an issue would it? And her own sister doesn't want to share her info either. There's a back story here, but I doubt very much her parents are doing it out of competition.
I don't know...my sister thinks I'm giving personal information, which is not really personal, IMO. Case in point: she has her work info and college info, etc. posted as "public" for Facebook...and that is one of the things that I needed (not college, but work address...sorry, there I go with the parenthesis again)
Actually with my sister, of course, I did not need to ask - I already knew those things.
It was just for my stepbrothers and some other random info - like I don't know if my dad has an email...or my stepmom's email (we are TOTALLY not close)
Not sure why they need email, but that is what they asked for...
I don't know, I feel like my sister was just being nasty about it, whatever...She has been so mean since she married an alcoholic, my bro-in-law..I never would guess she would change like this, but she has. It's weird, maybe it's stress.
Last edited by sunburned_in_seattle; 12-15-2015 at 01:03 AM..
Reason: adding information
Original Poster: All you had to do with the application is write that you do not keep in contact with anyone so you cannot answer specific questions about them.
You made the application much more complicated than it actually is.
(If you love () so much limit them to things you write in your journal, not too many others like them, especially when being used needlessly and excessively on a forum)
Since you asked: Nothing I did (in my mother's eyes) amounted to squat. Because of her reactions over the years it dawned on me that she seemed sort of jealous? Not sure. Unless I showed up with a crown and a British accent I doubt anything I did would impress her. I got over it years ago.
On your background check it's okay to say you don't know someone's whereabouts but you have to put as much as you do know. They'll kick it back time and time again (btdt).
LOL. BTDT, I had to google it..Good to know though.. Yeah, I really am only missing information about one step brother, whom I can not find on facebook..when I google him, it is not him..sooo..
Well, one thing with my mother - she doesn't want me sharing her information because...well...um...almost two years ago I had to call DCFS (department of child and family services) on my own mother. unfortunately. It was for the care of a relative (my niece). To this day, I do not regret doing it, though my mother was bitter about it for a long time, and my step dad paid a $5,000 retainer for a lawyer so she could defend herself. So, step dad's not so keen on me...
It was for the welfare of a child. Even though I'm the "black sheep" of the family, in crisis situation *I am the only one who will do anything* It all falls on me, every time
Anyway, but this wasn't the first time my mother has had a DCFS case, she did when we were children as well. somehow she is always able to get around the system. She has a doctorate degree and is very smart.
**I hate it when people think I am making up stories, this is really my life.
(If you love () so much limit them to things you write in your journal, not too many others like them, especially when being used needlessly and excessively on a forum)
Original Poster: All you had to do with the application is write that you do not keep in contact with anyone so you cannot answer specific questions about them.
You made the application much more complicated than it actually is.
Well, thank you.
I think that really is true b/c...my mom and stepdad are on again/off again, on again/off arguing excessively (like for a divorce) Plus (read above), they are not keen on me since I had to call DCFS on my own mother, and stepdad paid for a lawyer...
I had a miserable abusive stepfather. I was the gifted one among my half and step sibs who could draw and I am a decent photographer. He started photography and would continually belittle me. I graduated from college and the others didn't. He attended some job-related classes at the same college and got an a or two. His remark was that he never graduated from high school and got As. Well, he didn't have to take organic chemistry, physics, geography, econ, psychology, etc. He would also continually berate me on whatever I was doing at the time: it wasn't being done right or the way he would do it. He has been dead for almost 20 years but he still affects my self-esteem at times.
Your parents are competitors and I believe that they childishly compare themselves to you to make themselves feel better. They are the insecure ones. Don't allow their insecurities to affect your life. Hopefully you can connect with your step sibs. You all may have quite the conversation. Best of luck.
Hmm, that is interesting. Actually, I had a friend who's father acted the same as you described. His father was a really bad alcoholic, and was always putting down his son, exactly like in jealously..which is so sad b/c his mother was also not a good influence.
My dad, who is a veterinarian, promised to pay for some classes for me - the were prerequisites for med school. This was when I was 23. I didn't ask him for any other money, like for living expenses, or whatever else, I was supporting myself, but I did ask him to pay for these classes, which were at night, at a private school.
Well, guess what? I get halfway through the first one, General Chemistry, I'm getting an "A" and I get a letter from the registrar's office saying: my tuition has not been paid. In *unbelief* I contact my dad (the veterinarian) and he says, "I changed my mind."
Long sign, the epitome of nasty...(some people were not meant to be parents..) You changed your mind??? Why didn't you *tell me*?? What a terrible predicament that put me in, you know..It's like eating in a restaurant, and figuring out halfway you don't have the funds to pay...you can't just throw it up.
Last edited by sunburned_in_seattle; 12-15-2015 at 12:59 AM..
Reason: distracted from the point
But then sometimes when she was a hard cold ummmm... *meany*. She got married when I was in college. After that semester I had to get her new husband's tax records to file for financial aid and loans. She refused to ask him or even let me talk to him. I couldn't go to college any more.
I don't think it was competition. I think she was just a...meany.
Okay, so HighFlyingBird, what is your relationship with them now, can I ask??
Ohhh, I know my mom is a narcissist, without a doubt...The problem is my dad is, too, you could just imagine what their marriage was like.
(I had to really fight not to put the last line in ()
Then their behavior shouldn't surprise you.
They won't change, so YOU have to change how and how much you interact with them.
(Did you know that's probably why you like parentheses so much? They trained you to not even value your own thoughts, so now you relegate half of them to 'afterthought' status.)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I got over it years ago. 
