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Yes, she was rude. However, we don't know or understand her past. Maybe her family did have Domino's or Taco Bell for Christmas and it was quite acceptable. We are not all brought up with the same standards of acceptable behavior.
Bottom line, it's Christmas. Be loving and accepting. A little Christmas spirit may convince her to change!
I'm still wondering why the 22 year old and her fiancé were expected to sit at the kids table (kitchen island) with the 2 year old, 12 and 14 year old.
I wonder when someone is old enough to be considered an adult in that house?
In my family we never have a separate "kid's table" the children sit among the teens and adults.
There was plenty of "poor behavior" and miscommunications to go around that day.
It was a similar situation here. We had Christmas Eve dinner in the dining room, at a table that could easily seat 12 people when the leaves are in. I normally have it set up with just 6 chairs. It was just 4 of us that night, and our two dogs sat in the chairs at either end. I like to eat in the dining room on holidays, but it was by no means a "formal" dinner.
Exactly, I didn't realize you could only use the dining room table if you had a certain headcount.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TN2HSV
In hindsight we should've done that. But who walks in to a meal in progress and grabs the only empty seat at a table without first asking if it was in use?
Than as Mighty Queen said you could have said something in a joking manner. The whole set up sounds awkward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
Exactly. The entire meal sounds very casual due to the seating, and staggered arrivals, so even the Taco Bell wouldn't have made me bat an eye(except for her awful choice of fast food).
You can't have it both ways OP. If you want to host a formal sit-down dinner, with a planned menu, then you have to facilitate the seating ability to do so. A kitchen table and a breakfast bar is not my idea of a holiday dinner.
Agree, use the dining room. That's why it is called the "dining room".
Quote:
Originally Posted by TN2HSV
Maybe I'll have Domino's pizza delivered our table at her wedding reception.
Her dad (my husband) is a typical man....oblivious to most things unless he's hit over the head. The girl's mother....I have no idea what kind of manners she has or doesn't have. If she has any, she either didn't pass them on to her daughter or her daughter chooses not to use them.
It will be interesting to see how this wedding plays out!
Well your husband may be oblivious. Not all men are, so don't put everyone in the same category. Personally I wouldn't want to have children(meaning your husband) with such a age range, goodness 20 years between his oldest(if Miss Taco Bell is his oldest) to your youngest. Miss TB will be a middle aged woman when your child is the age she is now....yikes. He has to be in his mid 40s, who wants a teenager when your in late 50s?
It sounds like there is more going on here. You don't even seem to know much about her mother. Have you ever taken an interest in this girl?
There is a great line from the movie "The Way We Were", Streisand says to Redford "your friends make me feel like I'm invited for drinks and everyone else is staying for supper".
She may be rude, but did you do anything over the years to contribute to this?
I'm still wondering why the 22 year old and her fiancé were expected to sit at the kids table (kitchen island) with the 2 year old, 12 and 14 year old.
I wonder when someone is old enough to be considered an adult in that house?
In my family we never have a separate "kid's table" the children sit among the teens and adults.
There was plenty of "poor behavior" and miscommunications to go around that day.
Ya, we had a kids table when we were actual kids. Once everyone was teens or 20's, people could sit where ever they wanted. This was at a gathering of 20-30 people with 4-5 tables. Now we have 8-10 people and all sit in the dining room, even the toddler.
YOUR Husband is oblivious to most things so keep that blanket on him only.
Mr. CSD, his four brothers and every other man that I know would have offered their seat to anyone new who came in.
I do not think this girl or her mother are the only ones who lack manners.
Ha! Good point! Her own husband should have offered up his chair for her.
I think the OP raised her grievances with her husband and he ignores them completely so she had to air them here with us.
If the OP has an ongoing issue with the step daughter, she might need to reevaluate where this relationship is going to go.
To be honest I thought the host,who did all the cooking ended up with no seat. Now that would have made me Really annoyed. Just read OP and yes all had a seat except for the host who did all the prep so back off she didn't do a thing wrong. I would down size next year and all need to contribute a dish if they don't already. As for the taco bell queen let her bring it as I probably would have hit her up for one of them myself. I just think your not having a seat was ridiculous and no one even offered to find one for you. Let someone else take over.
Well, I'm glad someone gets that part. And to be honest, the fast food was a worse offense than the seat thing. I mean....have none of you ever heard that it's the height of rudeness to insult the host/hostess? If she wanted to eat Taco Bell, McDonalds, or whatever, fine. But don't bring it into the house! We had enough food to feed a small Army, even without the ham. She could have filled herself up on plenty of offerings without bringing in a greasy sack of Taco Bell, and if she was STILL hungry when ahe left, hit up the drive through on the way home. Everyone defending her bringing that in just blows my mind. That's a huge insult. or at least in MY neck of the woods it is.
As for the dining room, the max the table will hold under any circumstances is 8. That would have left 2 eating in the kitchen. And who should those 2 be? Myself & my husband? My step-daughter & fiancé? (No, because that would be so RUDE of me), my 80 yr old inlaws? Of course not. I can tell you who it would've been....my 2 daughters. They might not have cared, but it would have alienated them. At least eating in the kitchen, we were all in the same room. I just made the assumption (wrongly obviously) that as the woman of the house, I deserved to sit next to my husband at the table.
And no, I'm not gloating at the thought of something going awry at her wedding. But if she's this rude & clueless, it will be interesting to see how she handles things. That's all I meant. And I'm curious as to whether my daughters will even be invited. She never speaks to or even acknowledges them. And in the beginning I did everything I thought was appropriate to create rapport between them. I made sure she (and her brother) had b-day & Christmas gifts FROM my girls separately, not just from my husband & me. I've made every effort to make her feel included in this blended family, and have been turned down time after time.
As far as drama, this thread has way more drama than the actual event did!
And whoever asked about our son's name that she's openly criticized...its James. My husband calls him by his initials. She's expressed a very racist opinion of what his name sounds like.
And no, I'm not gloating at the thought of something going awry at her wedding. But if she's this rude & clueless, it will be interesting to see how she handles things. That's all I meant.
And whoever asked about our son's name that she's openly criticized...its James. My husband calls him by his initials. She's expressed a very racist opinion of what his name sounds like.
Hmmm. You'd think "James" would be pretty make-fun-of-proof.
I don't agree with the people who excuse her for being young. A 22-year-old should know better than to bring a bag of fast food to someone's house who is preparing a dinner. That was rude. As for her taking your seat, I would have said, "hey, are you going to jump in my grave that fast, too?" It's funny, but gets the message across.
This story reminded me of an old friend. Her MIL was Italian and did the 7 fishes thing on Christmas Eve. She didn't eat fish, so she stopped at Burger King before they got there. But she ate her food before arriving at the MIL's and then just ate side dishes.
I don't understand how you can host a dinner knowing that someone does not like ham and have no other meat dish available. Seriously, you expect her to just eat sides?
To me, THAT was rude. It isn't as if Taco Belle just walked in and said, 'I hate ham' and the OP was blindsided. The OP knew beforehand and decided that Taco Belle would just have to forgo a meat dish. I mean, you couldn't make a Cornish hen or something?
The fact that the OP deliberately decided to have Taco Belle fend for herself and was then offended when she actually fended for herself says it all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl
Sorry I don't get what she did that was so incredibly rude. She's a picky eater so she brought her own food. Personally that wouldn't bother me as a hostess. Is it immature? Sure.
As for the seating situation I don't know why you find it rude that she sat down at the table with the adults. You all decided to eat casually in the kitchen. If you don't have enough seats at the table for the adults, you should have moved into the dining room.
Totally an overreaction OP.
Agreed.
OP, do you not know what hostess means? That means that it is your job to see to the comfort and enjoyment of ALL guests. If you know beforehand that someone doesn't eat ham, why would you only serve ham? And then complain that Taco Belle was passive aggressive? No she wasn't.
And you blithely say 'If Taco Belle was still hungry she could go by the drive thru.'
Honey, if someone left my dinner party hungry THAT would offend me.
"Dissed at Christmas dinner. What would you have done? "
I would have laughed it off. Anybody who eats Taco Bell deserves to be laughed at.
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