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I'd like to add that the ex-daughter in law has taken to calling me every night when she is drunk. First, apparently my ex-husband insists he paid for the entire cremation. When I read her the cremation papers, she ignored what I said. She is not a good drunk & repeats herself over & over.
She still will not tell me my granddaughter' s phone number nor tell me anything about her. I will just wait until she's 18 & message her.
I am glad she called at first as she wasn't aware that my ex & his daughter were cleaning out my son's apartment. I warned her that my granddaughter had better get involved or she would get nothing of her dad's.
Sick, sick people.
I should ignore her phone calls, I know, but if I hadn't talked to her, she would not have known what his dad was up to. He only told me because he wanted to know if I knew anything about our son's bank account/s. Hopefully he won't find anything & my granddaughter gets whatever her dad left. I can't make it my problem. All I could do was warn my ex-daughter in law.
I'd like to add that the ex-daughter in law has taken to calling me every night when she is drunk. First, apparently my ex-husband insists he paid for the entire cremation. When I read her the cremation papers, she ignored what I said. She is not a good drunk & repeats herself over & over.
She still will not tell me my granddaughter' s phone number nor tell me anything about her. I will just wait until she's 18 & message her.
I am glad she called at first as she wasn't aware that my ex & his daughter were cleaning out my son's apartment. I warned her that my granddaughter had better get involved or she would get nothing of her dad's.
Sick, sick people.
I should ignore her phone calls, I know, but if I hadn't talked to her, she would not have known what his dad was up to. He only told me because he wanted to know if I knew anything about our son's bank account/s. Hopefully he won't find anything & my granddaughter gets whatever her dad left. I can't make it my problem. All I could do was warn my ex-daughter in law.
OP, I am so so sorry for what you have been through.
Regarding the bolded: I would NOT ignore the calls. Not at all. I would listen (and possibly record, or at least take notes) and encourage her to keep talking...and talking...and talking...you might learn a lot more very important info. Just "mm-mmm" "is that right?" "Oh my!" "You poor thing" anything that sounds non-committal, but sympathetic. It might be the best way to learn how you help your granddaughter.
That's certainly a good point. It may help me with finding/knowing my granddaughter. I haven't seen her since she was 5 so I'm sure she will be uncomfortable at first. The more I know, the more comfortable she can be with me.
She still will not tell me my granddaughter' s phone number nor tell me anything about her. I will just wait until she's 18 & message her.
Maybe the granddaughter doesn't want anything to do with you? I don't know any 17 yr old who has their social media sites censored and monitored by their mother. The only way I see the DIL knowing you messaged her is if the gd told her. Your gd would have seen the message first and could easily call you if she had wanted.
OP, I am so so sorry for what you have been through.
Regarding the bolded: I would NOT ignore the calls. Not at all. I would listen (and possibly record, or at least take notes) and encourage her to keep talking...and talking...and talking...you might learn a lot more very important info. Just "mm-mmm" "is that right?" "Oh my!" "You poor thing" anything that sounds non-committal, but sympathetic. It might be the best way to learn how you help your granddaughter.
I agree.
Your granddaughter is worth putting up with some of this for.
Hang in there! What a gnarly situation! And grief on top of it. I'm so sorry you've gone through this.
The main thing with my granddaughter. I don't blame her if she doesn't want to meet me. The reality is that my son & I are co-owners of a motorcycle that is valued at 4-6k. She has to sign off on the title for me to sell it. I will split the money between us, minus expenses to fix it as it's been sitting for 12 years.
If we don't get together on this I will have to take it to small claims court to get the title released. I'll still have the money put in trust for her & email the information to her mother.
Just as long as my granddaughter gets this legacy from her father is what I care about. Actually, I'll probably give her all the proceeds as I don't need more & she could use it for college.
meo92953, firstly, I'm sorry for the loss of your son.
My mom always taught me to NEVER let anything that happens in life surprise us, shock us, etc. We ALL know many people have affairs w/ their neighbors/coworkers/bosses/in-laws, lie, cheat, steal, molest, etc., etc., etc. everyday. So many people are just in denial that it will ever happen to them, but it does & yes, there's a many of men who romantically go with their son's wife. So apparently BEFORE your son died, the two of them were having an affair & apparently, they're STILL together over 12 yrs later. You seemed to have underestimated his intuition due to his mental illness, but he was smarter than you thought. For you to not believe your son is a real shame & it's very sad that he went to his grave knowing you didn't believe him.
Anyway, I've read through all your posts, so now that what's done is done, I hope you can find peace in life, but I'm sure it sill be hard dealing with a drunk ex-DIL & other drama-craving people, etc.
The main thing with my granddaughter. I don't blame her if she doesn't want to meet me. The reality is that my son & I are co-owners of a motorcycle that is valued at 4-6k. She has to sign off on the title for me to sell it. I will split the money between us, minus expenses to fix it as it's been sitting for 12 years.
If we don't get together on this I will have to take it to small claims court to get the title released. I'll still have the money put in trust for her & email the information to her mother.
Just as long as my granddaughter gets this legacy from her father is what I care about. Actually, I'll probably give her all the proceeds as I don't need more & she could use it for college.
Why does she have to sign off on the title? It's your motorcycle. As for fixing, just sell "as is".
Why does she have to sign off on the title? It's your motorcycle. As for fixing, just sell "as is".
DMV said the next of kin (my granddaughter) has to sign the title in lieu of my son. I wasn't aware of that & called to find out how to handle it. I tend to follow the law & we were co-owners.
It will be much more valuable if it's fixed up. It has sat for over 11 years so needs some tlc. My sister's boyfriend has a repair shop so the cost will be basically parts. His work will be 1/2 price. The good thing is since it has sat that long, there will be low mileage, which is a good sell point.
Forever Blue, he never knew I didn't believe it was possible, because I DID think it was possible. BUT my son did imagine things; ie: he believed the police had cameras installed in his ceiling & were spying on him. I have no idea where that one came from.
But, my ex and his ex? Well, I divorced him because he had a real problem keeping his pants on, so I thought it was possible.
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