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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,706 posts, read 41,862,320 times
Reputation: 41434
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
How would money even enter the equation?
It's irrelevant in my friendships.
Well the first question you are asked when meeting someone in DC is what do you do for a living? Not hard to figure out what class they are when you get the answer to that question.
Very easily if you plan to hang out with friends who make significantly more than you. Examples are restaurants, vacations, sporting events, basically any social event that involves money, and there are lots of them.
You make enough to only afford a vacation to Mexico. Your friends make enough to want to go to Europe or Asia. You only want to eat at places that cost $$. Friends want to eat at places that cost $$$. You can afford only the nosebleeds at shows. Friends want to spend money and sit closer for a better experience. There are so many examples to give.
I think people who can be friends with others on a much different income level don't actually go out enough to realize the awkwardness when it comes to spending money.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,706 posts, read 41,862,320 times
Reputation: 41434
Quote:
Originally Posted by CNYC
Thanks for posting. Can you please elaborate ? What if you met somebody with similar interests and he or she was a really nice person. Would you judge them harsher because they had more money ?
* I am asking this question because I am THAT guy. I just moved to a new place and prior to moving people liked me. One guy caught wind that I was comfortable financially and commented that " So you like to slum it huh? " I like real people so I tend to gravitate towards normal people. People with money can alienate themselves which I find boring.
Anyway once other people caught wind of who I am their attitudes towards me changed. It has happened so often it is monotonous at this point.
I like to dress well but I don't brag and I am a really nice guy...never fails though people hate on me for the $.
I would not intentionally judge them harsher, but it would be bound to happen anyway. Like if they complained about a trivial rich person problem, that'd be the last thing I wanted to hear when I'm trying to buy food on a budget. So I'd look at them differently. I used to go to school in an upper middle class school system and my mother was trying to survive on a military salary, so maybe I'm just kinda jaded from that experience.
Not that it will ever be a problem I need to worry about, but I read once about those who win the lottery, that yes, it really does change your life and who you associate with. You can afford to fly to New York just for dinner. Your friend can only afford Red Lobster on a good week. You can vacation when you want, where you want. Your friend maybe gets to visit Six Flags. Unless you are willing to pay for everything they do with you, they just can't participate in the things you want to do. So you naturally begin to separate and hang out with those who can afford the same things you do. May not be intentional, but it happens.
Very easily if you plan to hang out with friends who make significantly more than you. Examples are restaurants, vacations, sporting events, basically any social event that involves money, and there are lots of them.
You make enough to only afford a vacation to Mexico. Your friends make enough to want to go to Europe or Asia. You only want to eat at places that cost $$. Friends want to eat at places that cost $$$. You can afford only the nosebleeds at shows. Friends want to spend money and sit closer for a better experience. There are so many examples to give.
I think people who can be friends with others on a much different income level don't actually go out enough to realize the awkwardness when it comes to spending money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
Not that it will ever be a problem I need to worry about, but I read once about those who win the lottery, that yes, it really does change your life and who you associate with. You can afford to fly to New York just for dinner. Your friend can only afford Red Lobster on a good week. You can vacation when you want, where you want. Your friend maybe gets to visit Six Flags. Unless you are willing to pay for everything they do with you, they just can't participate in the things you want to do. So you naturally begin to separate and hang out with those who can afford the same things you do. May not be intentional, but it happens.
I agree with these posts. It helps to connect over a common interest. But there may be things you don't have the means to do, and you need to be ok with that as the poorer person. As the more affluent person you need to be cognizant of doing stuff in your friend's budget if you want to keep the friend.
Money is not something I judge, or care about, when making friends.
Honestly, I wouldn't know. They could be taking extravagant vacations and stuff, but going in debt. I could be hanging with someone who has an old Honda, but tons of money in the bank.
Not my business.
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I love having rich friends... even if they don't have fun and expensive toys to share with me they give me inspiration to get ahead and they think differently than poor people.
Depends on the mindset of the poor person. If they're trying to snake their rich buddies and are the jealous type, no. In my case years ago, if they have a common interest and are willing/thankful to learn something, yes.
You make enough to only afford a vacation to Mexico. Your friends make enough to want to go to Europe or Asia. You only want to eat at places that cost $$. Friends want to eat at places that cost $$$. You can afford only the nosebleeds at shows. Friends want to spend money and sit closer for a better experience. There are so many examples to give.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
Unless you are willing to pay for everything they do with you, they just can't participate in the things you want to do. So you naturally begin to separate and hang out with those who can afford the same things you do. May not be intentional, but it happens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
I agree with these posts. It helps to connect over a common interest. But there may be things you don't have the means to do, and you need to be ok with that as the poorer person. As the more affluent person you need to be cognizant of doing stuff in your friend's budget if you want to keep the friend.
Nailed it.
OF COURSE it eventually becomes an issue. If you're on a limited budget and your friends aren't, planning stuff to do gets ... tedious.
But it's not the issue you are talking about, OP. Your issue crosses class boundaries and is a personality problem, not an income problem.
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