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My grandfather, a retired US Army colonel, was buried at Arlington with full honors. After the ceremony (on a snowy, January day), a random stranger approached me and introduced herself as a tourist from Sweden. She had photographed the procession of the caisson and riderless horse from the chapel to the burial plot and then the entire ceremony. She asked if we would want copies of the photos. I thanked her and said yes. I have always treasured those beautiful photographs.
And yet, we think nothing of wiring and making up corpses so they look like they're sleeping. When I'm mourning a dead relative I don't want to see aunt so and so going up to the casket and saying, "He/she looks so natural!" It makes me want to say, "No, he/she looks dead!"
I saw both my mother and my sister without makeup or "processing" after their deaths. They were both cremated. I'm glad I had a chance to see them in the natural state to say goodbye without the morticians working their "artistry" (grim as it was in the case of my sister, who died of massive bacterial infections throughout her body). The whole funeral home thing today is as much an artifice as the Victorian era "sleeping baby" pictures or the adult corpses propped up with iron contraptions in chairs so they looked lifelike in their funeral photos. Are we all that different?
The whole funeral industry today is an attempt to let mourners fool themselves into thinking viewing a corpse is just like viewing some taking a nap on the couch. I don't find the traditions of funeral photography any more or less morbid or distasteful than the show that's put on in most funerals today.
Not only that but in most cases the deceased doesn't look like themselves at all.
My cousin did this with both her parents. She than sent out the pictures. I was looking through pictures and came across it, her mother looked awful, for lack of a better word "clown like" with the makeup. I ripped it up. Here were all these nice pictures of her parents she sent through the years and than in the middle was this one.
Why would want to have that ingrained in your mind?
We didn't take pictures but my grandmother looked really good at her funeral. And I don't mean that in a morbid way---I mean the person who worked on her face made her look much better (she had been ill and looked sickly for years) than we had seen her in awhile and they kept it true to how she looked.
I think it's odd that people think it's so morbid and disgusting. You have no idea what is traditional to those grieving. And like someone else posted, this was a common practice. I forget where I was but part of the exhibition was talking about death and showed a series of photos of children when they passed away, often posed and not in a casket, because it was common to photograph them before burial.
Getting baptized to me seems like a very personal thing to do in a church with your church family. I don't get the need to not be involved in watching the actual service and praying with your family because you are taking pics and video especially during a prayer? Do other people not there really need to see this?
What did people do before cell phones? I don't remember people bringing out their Polaroids in church. lol We got by and enjoyed 'the moments' more. Not everyone needs to see every event in everyone's life.
As I said before, I have pictures from my baptism even though no one had camera phones 30 years ago. It's a happy memory to look back on, and since its usually a time when the whole family gathers, it's also a good time to take pictures.
And yes, there are often relatives or friends who are unable to make the baptism, so they like to see the pictures. Just because you don't see it as an event worth sharing, doesn't mean others feel the same way.
Weird and morbid. Witnessed this more then once. Pictures get uploaded to FB and Instagram. There are times where cameras and social media need to not be involved.
Ew! It's one thing to take the photos for family. It's an entirely different thing to put them on Facebook! OMG!
I think it's morbid. Years ago, a woman I knew gave birth too prematurely for her baby to survive. The following Sunday at church, the parents were passing around photos of their dead baby. I was about 13, and horrified by the spectacle. Decades later, I still can't understand why they did that.
As I said before, I have pictures from my baptism even though no one had camera phones 30 years ago. It's a happy memory to look back on, and since its usually a time when the whole family gathers, it's also a good time to take pictures.
And yes, there are often relatives or friends who are unable to make the baptism, so they like to see the pictures. Just because you don't see it as an event worth sharing, doesn't mean others feel the same way.
Yes, this. I've seen plenty of baptism pictures taken the old-fashioned way, with a camera. Sometimes there was a request that there be no flash photography inside the church, but I don't remember any ban against taking pictures.
Why is it ok to take pictures of a church wedding, but not a baptism?
Quote:
Originally Posted by katenik
I think it's morbid. Years ago, a woman I knew gave birth too prematurely for her baby to survive. The following Sunday at church, the parents were passing around photos of their dead baby. I was about 13, and horrified by the spectacle. Decades later, I still can't understand why they did that.
Those poor parents wanted to have their child's very short life acknowledged. I wouldn't have wanted to see them at 13 either, but I don't fault them for taking the pictures and sharing them with those who presumably would offer sympathy and support.
I understand why people take pictures of the dead. I am not one of them. And I have never, ever seen anything of that nature posted on social media.
For SOME PEOPLE, it is important they have a picture of the deceased.
For SOME PEOPLE, they cannot understand why anyone would want a picture of the deceased.
Both are correct...
When their father died, my kids wanted a picture of him in the casket. So they each took one. That was their dad, and NO ONE was going to tell them that they were grieving "wrong".
For baptisms, of course people take pictures! I have a picture of my baptism somewhere, and that was over 50 years ago.
Even though I am not living in the south anymore I am 8 plus generations strong from there and this AND grave decorating is a tradition that is alive and well there . I do not mind it .
My older cousin actually complained to his mom to please stop he was getting tired at my dads funeral she made him take so many ( her baby brother by 7 years) ,, he was only 70 , young in our family.
I have had so many loved ones die that I cannot hardly stand funerals but will decorate like crazy at the cemetery . If it is allowed .
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